"Enjoy school stupid, stop moaping around and do your work. Stay away from that Louise girl, she's nothing but trouble. The winning lottery numbers for the 10th of October 2009 will be..."
"Yes, in fact you did move back from spain away from your mother and sisters because you are a pussy, now you have to live with your father who you cant stand, your step brother who your father thinks is better than you and your step mother who treats her son like he can do no wrong, you idiot".
"Work that little bit hard you dufus and stop falling short. Stop putting the ***** on a pedestal - believe me you'll grow out of it. Oh, the winning Eurolottery numbers for the 17 November 2006* will be ......"
"When your 18, dont go out with a girl from your work, she will make your life misery, lose your friends, put you in debt and leave you with no social skills what-so-ever since she took over your life"
"Don't bother with Jonathan, he might look cute at 14 but he is actually an idiot who will one day grow his hair long. For god sake do your science coursework, or that D will really stand out against all the A's and B's. Don't bother going to college, you won't like it. Take photos, lots of them. You're going to have a few really rough years where it feels like your life is on hold, but don't worry, you'll meet someone in 10 years who's going to completely turn everything upside down. You're gonna be happy "
Forget messing with your graphics card. Your CPU is the bottleneck. In a month's time you will be at a party. Claire will be trying to do exacly what what you think she's doing with your fingers. Don't let her near them.
Oh - and make sure to put a bet that the President of the USA in 10 years time will have the second name Hussein.
"You can change degrees although you've already done a year, and it doesn't matter that you're a couple of years older. Take the opportunity for the MBA in Cyprus and Jessica really fancies you don't let her move to Oz without at least letting her know! Make sure you ring the ambulance at 11:43 on the 17th March 2000, you could save John's life - doesn't matter where you are, just do it. And don't take the second loan out for the 3rd parachute, you never ended up using it."
"Don't play DAOC. It's fun, but it's going to cost you! If you do end up getting divorced then stay away from Geraldine H, she's more trouble than she's worth."
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