Other half has/is mad - depression etc. Following a serious breakdown 12-18 months ago, (I'm sure it's a cyclical thing for her every decade or so) eventually she admitted to herself that she had a problem again and we went to see her GP, who started the ball rolling with medication that didn't work, then referred her to a proper head shrinker who could give the medication she could tolerate. Some of the side-effects are as bad or worse than the symptoms of her illness.
As far as employer notification... that goes with any sick leave recommended by your GP - they generally don't need to know everything about the situation; usually a sick-note form you GP is fine, but some employers (like pepsico for instance) would want their own doctors to decide if your fit to be at work or not basically so they don't have to loose money because of your condition. Likewise if you are seeing a consultant psychiatrist then you will be categorised as a risk/or not to yourself and others and this will be on your permanent medical record - this may (and I do mean
may) have implications for certain jobs or disclosure requirements... for example applying for a shotgun or fire arms certificate and such like.
She takes quite a lot of medication - 250mg per day antidepressants (prescribed by her consultant psychiatrist) and has done for almost a year now. That's after the roller-coaster that is the 'can you guess what medication is going to be good for you-try everything-until you find one that actually works and doesn't make you worse'.
She drinks too much also, which when you add sleeping tablets to the mix, this requires a free ride in the bus with the siren and lights that isn't an ice cream van, to A&E a couple of sundays back. Speaking of which, today I went with her to her shrink appointment, where we discussed her drinking and levels of anxiety and what to do about them. Mainly it's all about little steps and keeping a daily routine going: eating right, doing regular exercise, staying at work and such like. All geared to give her some sort of structure she can hold on to whilst she waits for her therapy to begin. Common sense stuff mostly.
Waiting lists for the behavioural therapy thing she's supposed to be getting are a total joke - 22 months.
Her work are pretty understanding considering all the time off she's had in the last year. Had it been any of the buttholes I've worked for in the past, she'd have been out the door as quick as a flash; sometimes I don't think she knows how lucky she is in this respect.
As far as it concerns our relationship... where to start?
Mood swings like pmt but with no early warning calendar. Lack of libido on her part. Lack of any emotion towards anything or anyone close to her... ie. me, her parents, friends etc. Wanting to brake up every few months, never mind that I've stood by her for the last 8 years through all sorts of hardship related to her condition - she always comes around, but it can be awfully painful if you're not on top form yourself; Looking into the eyes of the woman you love and seeing a total stranger staring back at you like you mean less than nothing to them.
What else? Did I mention the mood swings already?
Odd behaviour, like unplugging all of the sockets in the house in case they catch fire when we go out - this includes my alarm clock, radio, tv, skybox, video etc. I'm forever resetting the timers on just about everything electrical in the house.
Manic cleaning sessions that lead to all my important papers being thrown away, or rather 'tidying up' as she calls it. Packing away my tools in the wrong places.
Bringing home stray cats from the RSPCA without consulting me about turning the damn house into one giant litter tray - currently we have 5 cats; ONE is mine since before we met, the other four are hers that she's acquired. 3 from the rspca and one stray from outside in the snow last winter. And most recently, she is 'looking after' a rescue cat that has a fractured pelvis and a broken tail 'because they don't have room for him' at the cattery/rspca where she volunteers every few sundays.
So now we have 6 in a tiny terraced house that is rented. I've shouted, sworn, raved and cajoled, demanded, raged and reasoned about having no more animals, ever since we had the optimum number of cats (2) and all to no avail.
To be blunt: when she is going off on one she does whatever she wants or thinks is a good idea at the time, regardless of how it might concern anyone else.
Sometimes she's such a ******* mad bitch I could just walk away from the whole situation and never look back.
Trouble is she wasn't always like that, and every now and then we get a glimpse of how she used to be which keeps us going together. This last year or two have been the hardest of my life, at least from an emotional standpoint.
Honestly, living with someone who has serious depression/mental health issues can be almost as bad as suffering from it yourself.
For the most part there's nothing you can do to help them - either you're along for the ride, or you get off at the next station.
Add a dash of recession related unemployment for me and I'm about ready to kill someone
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Mostly people who work for the jobcentre, mind.... they really don't help at all, just exacerbate the situation I find myself in.
@ David41, Regarding the lack of zest for life... I don't want to make water on your fire or anything like that, but if you were ill like I've been describing, you and everyone you know would know it, utterly and without question.
It goes waaay beyond what I can really and truly understand, as I suspect, like you, we all have times in our life when no ray of sunlight seems to peek through the clouds, but that just about describes most average healthy people. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not belittling you or your comments in any way, I've had to try and understand something that is only happening in someone else's head for the last 8 years, so I'm not discounting anything you say or may feel