I was like 14/15 at the time and my old man took me to a 40th birthday of one of his mates, who was minted. Massive marquee in the field, full wedding like set up. The place was full of millionaires and the like.
There were no other kids there and they didn't serve anything but wine. No soft drinks. So naturally I could completely slaughtered.
After passing out on the toilet for about an hour, the party moved back to their mansion. I was a little green behind the gills and on feeling a rumble in my stomach, I felt the need for a massive dump. Off I went.
As I sat down for said dump, I felt the room spinning like mad. Cold sweats sweep over me... This isn't good. I assume the position, head down the toilet.
Trouble is, I hadn't even had a chance to have a crap yet, so when I heaved to chunder, the involuntary reaction caused me to **** all over their cream carpeted bathroom floor. I mean, who has cream carpet in a bathroom?!
Not only did I manage to spray **** the furthest ever recorded, but I also managed to **** all down my legs and trousers.
Naturally, there was no way of hiding this massive state, and I had to get help. Needless to say I didn't live that one down for a while with my old man and his mates. No one knows that story though, not most my mates or the Mrs. Naturally, I don't dish it out at story time.