Teachers saying "you would amount to nothing"

[Monkeynut]

The thing is it depends how you define success. There are people in this thread with their salary peen out but if you get up every morning and go and empty some bins with your mates on the wagon and have a laugh at work and come home to a faithful partner, isn't that better than Mr £150k a year who's never satisfied and his wife is having her pasty smashed by the guy from the golf course who's on £450k a year?

 

[BowdonUK]

I went to one of those "special schools" back in the day, and though they help many people they also group people together and assumptions are made like, "you'll never get a job and be on benefits for the rest of your life". I remember hearing a teacher say that in general conversation. It wasn't too me. But I think that was her attitude. She wasn't a bad person. I think that was just her genuine thought. All the kids who she was speaking too have all gotten jobs and been socially active.

I know teachers have been heard to say these kinda things. But I don't think they are saying it maliciously. I think that is just their opinion. Though it's interesting many people recall remembering stuff like that.

 

[Ayahuasca]

The thing is it depends how you define success. There are people in this thread with their salary peen out but if you get up every morning and go and empty some bins with your mates on the wagon and have a laugh at work and come home to a faithful partner, isn't that better than Mr £150k a year who's never satisfied and his wife is having her pasty smashed by the guy from the golf course who's on £450k a year?

You can have a laugh at work, earn good money and still maintain a healthy relationship. Those three aren't mutually exclusive, to be fair though bin men aren't on poor salaries.

Your analogy isn't that great though as the percentage of people on £150k is under 1% and I'm assuming people on that level of income have higher levels of career and financial satisfaction. I would have to look at the statistics but surely your partner would be more likely to be unfaithful if you had no ambition and worked for minimum or close to minimum wage all your life?

I would have to pull up the study but I believe divorce rates are higher on both ends of the income scale. The super-rich who are always travelling and can bang almost anyone they like and then the benefit scroungers or minimum wage slaves who can't fully support a family unit.

 

[uncle_rufus]

The thing is it depends how you define success. There are people in this thread with their salary peen out but if you get up every morning and go and empty some bins with your mates on the wagon and have a laugh at work and come home to a faithful partner, isn't that better than Mr £150k a year who's never satisfied and his wife is having her pasty smashed by the guy from the golf course who's on £450k a year?

Definitely something to be said for this... but it doesn't have to be at such extreme ends of the scale! e.g. with my Maths degree I could have chased after being an Actuary or an Accountant or go work in the city in some other trading/finance type role which I'm sure would be much more lucrative than what I've ended up doing... but chose to trade what I imagined would be a lot of stress and tough expectations for something that is far more enjoyable to actually get up and do every day but is relatively poorly paid (still pretty good though)

 

[d_brennen]

The thing is it depends how you define success. There are people in this thread with their salary peen out but if you get up every morning and go and empty some bins with your mates on the wagon and have a laugh at work and come home to a faithful partner, isn't that better than Mr £150k a year who's never satisfied and his wife is having her pasty smashed by the guy from the golf course who's on £450k a year?

Also council estate Tracy being smashed by her dealer while Kevin is out working at Aldi so...

I don't have figures but I think happiness and stability of the family revolves around the satisfaction Vs pressures you're under. Happy bin men and unhappy traders etc.

My grandparents were relatively "well off" in their day but chose to caravan in the UK, eat lard toast and go to the conservative club of a Friday night. Never met anyone happier

 

[Mr Badger]

Also council estate Tracy being smashed by her dealer while Kevin is out working at Aldi so...

I don't have figures but I think happiness and stability of the family revolves around the satisfaction Vs pressures you're under. Happy bin men and unhappy traders etc.

My grandparents were relatively "well off" in their day but chose to caravan in the UK, eat lard toast and go to the conservative club of a Friday night. Never met anyone happier

 

[Nitefly]

I remember one maths teacher who wouldn’t predict me an A-grade for A-level... he insisted no higher than a B, at best, because I was the class clown - which was annoying for university applications. I look great pleasure on results day of telling him about my A and to be fair he congratulated me for it.

Some interesting commentary re: success and jobs etc. I have long moaned on here (and it is moaning) that despite the pay, which is not mega bucks, the legal profession is not great; most people are stressed to the point of being ill or have no free time. It seems to attract ‘selfless professional worriers’ who’s success at their job is secured by the huge burdens they place on themselves.

Before I picked that route, I was tempted by pursuing a career in science and doing a PhD, but I thought the effort to pay reward was also fairly dumb and I admit that I do quietly scoff at those that evidence their own intelligence by virtue of their PhDs.... but perhaps it is I that is the real chump!

The grass is always greener, I guess.

 

[Freebird101]

I remember as kid one of two of the teachers at my primary and secondary school would say things like "you will never amount to anything" and "you will be a bin man when you're older"

Now i'm not sure if teachers still say the same sort of things to kids these days but looking back now I am around their age (36) I can safely say they were wrong and am probably on at least 2 or 3 times the average teachers salary. I highly expect some of them will still be working now, maybe as elderly substitute teachers having to top up their pension in their 60s

Did your teachers ever say your would amount to nothing and would like to shove it in their face that they were wrong?

N'ah, all sound with me. Maybe they were talking about the quality and f your character and not your wallet.

 

[ThePainBarrier]

When I chose to do Computer Studies, i was told as I was rubbish at Math's, I would be rubbish at computers.

I did the computer course anyway, turns out I knew more than the teacher (this was back in the day when half the lessons were programming basic on a BBC and the other half were about the history of computers - that half was boring and pointless!).

At 48, I now have 32 years as a developer (currently senior programmer) and oversee 2 junior developers.
Never went to college, straight into a YTS Computer Programming course and, 6 months later, got a COBOL programming placement that turned into a job another 6 months down the line.

My lack of Math's has never been an issue in all those years.

 

[Resident]

My sis-in-law was told she wouldn't amount to owt unless she studied 24/7, she'd never become a nurse like she wanted. Unfortunately this came from both the school and her grandparents of whom she lived with.

She studied hard, got the grades and went on to uni and became a nurse. Now in her late 20s she carried on with studying and has had a high level research role.

Some would say despite being told she's not good enough she's made a success of herself, near 40k a year, multiple medical qualifications etc etc.

But here's the rub. She's not happy. Constantly in a mood, nothing and no-one is good enough for her leading to her being terminally single despite wanting a relationship. She's always trying to find that next education step to take but doesn't have a clue as to where she now wants to be, the initial goal has been satisfied. Although constantly employed she moves from job to job within the NHS because her colleague 'annoy her' for not being perfection etc.

So being academically successful doesn't alway mean being a success in life.

 

[Ayahuasca]

My lack of Math's has never been an issue in all those years.

Indeed, I think people get too caught up in "if you're good at Math, you're good at solving problems" which isn't always the case. Plenty of solid developers who can't even do basic algebra.

 

[Stumble Bum]

Teachers have made this sort of statement for years, it's just a simple way to get kids who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing to think about the consequences of messing around in school / not doing homework / not trying hard enough. Nothing more, nothing less.

For some kids they will be told to behave and that will do the trick, for other kids they need to be told of the consequences of not behaving to give them a kick up the backside.

I can only imagine how soft teachers are today and all the things they are not allowed to say to school children. Bring back the cane and the dunce's hat

 

[Stumble Bum]

I went to school with a guy who was told he wouldn't amount to much. Things certainly worked out for him all right. A millionaire at 26! Fred Holden he was called, he was in our dorm. God, he was thick. Thickie Holden, we used to call him. 'Hello, Thickie! How's your acne, Thickie?' He always used to come bottom in geography. He thought a glacier was a bloke who fixed windows. I mean he ended up inventing the tension sheet, it's just the stuff they used to use in packing paper. All he did was to paint it red and cut it into small squares and you know who he married? -- Sabrina Mulholland-JJones.

 

[ianh]

My high school had a "Wall of Heroes" type thing where all the ex-pupils who'd done "well" after leaving school had their school photo and a recent "thing" about how successful they are now (photo, news-story, etc) placed on this huge wall next to the assembly/lunch Hall so you walked past it daily. I think the plan was that this was supposed to be inspirational but instead it was mainly used as a "shaming" tool by a few bad teachers whose comments of "You'll never make it on that wall" wasn't used as a reverse psychology tool to be used on those who could take up the challenge, it was used to mentally beat-down kids who were already struggling and it was seen as a negative by the vast majority of the pupils.

I had some great teachers whose names I still remember now and who gave me confidence about my abilities, and I also had teachers who were ego-tripping scum and had no place in the education system. The crazy part is that, if you ask enough pupils I'm absolutely sure you would get the same names of those "good" and the "scum" teachers but completely reversed just depending on the pupil you ask.

 

[Parky]

My Mrs is a maths teacher, one of her main reasons for going into teaching was because her teacher at high school was terrible and often put people down with these kinds of remarks. She spoke about how she would use her as an example to the other students, making her stand at the front of class trying to solve problems in front of everybody, often way beyond her current level and for things that were completely irrelevant to the subject. Then putting her down when she obviously couldn't come up with the answers on the spot, it sounded like it was more of power trip rather than the little push to make them focus more.

Fast forward 15 years and the Mrs has become a successful teacher, pretty much waiting for a head of maths department role to open up. She was asked if she could help out and go into a couple of failing schools in the area as part of a team to assess how things were being done and provide training on areas that needed improvement. Lo and behold her old teacher was at one of these schools and had been put forward to receive some training from her

Apparently she still had an attitude and was very dismissive about receiving help, Mrs was well chuffed when she came home.

 

[sideways14a]

I remember going to career guidance in s4 i think, i wanted to work in computing/IT and that was obvious through my secondary school years.
"ohh thats not going to amount to much, its a fad" or something similar i got back from the clueless guidance woman.

Clearly no idea what was happening in the world through out the 80s and exceptionally poor in her job. I also had to do higher computing at an other school half a mile away from the one i went to normally because they didnt have a course as myself and a few others were the first ever to want to take it.

I now work in IT withing the higher education system and its remarkable how many folk still come through with low levels of basic computer knowledge and how many IT people are also like that.

 

[sideways14a]

I went to school with a guy who was told he wouldn't amount to much. Things certainly worked out for him all right. A millionaire at 26! Fred Holden he was called, he was in our dorm. God, he was thick. Thickie Holden, we used to call him. 'Hello, Thickie! How's your acne, Thickie?' He always used to come bottom in geography. He thought a glacier was a bloke who fixed windows. I mean he ended up inventing the tension sheet, it's just the stuff they used to use in packing paper. All he did was to paint it red and cut it into small squares and you know who he married? -- Sabrina Mulholland-JJones.

...even with time travel Rimmer couldnt be more of a success.

 

[Ryan-3]

I went to a very rough East London school, so being the brightest kid in that school is probably the equivalent to being a middling student at a good school, but I digress.

That's actually quite a serious issue for the undergraduates in the top universities. As they're used to being the star pupil or amongst the top 1% from their school life, they join a top uni and find out that everyone else there is the same. The idea of now being average can often be too much.

I was always seen as being gifted from starting school, but my work ethic certainly waned during the middle to end. However, thankfully not by too much!

 

[Nitefly]

My sis-in-law was told she wouldn't amount to owt unless she studied 24/7, she'd never become a nurse like she wanted. Unfortunately this came from both the school and her grandparents of whom she lived with.

She studied hard, got the grades and went on to uni and became a nurse. Now in her late 20s she carried on with studying and has had a high level research role.

Some would say despite being told she's not good enough she's made a success of herself, near 40k a year, multiple medical qualifications etc etc.

But here's the rub. She's not happy. Constantly in a mood, nothing and no-one is good enough for her leading to her being terminally single despite wanting a relationship. She's always trying to find that next education step to take but doesn't have a clue as to where she now wants to be, the initial goal has been satisfied. Although constantly employed she moves from job to job within the NHS because her colleague 'annoy her' for not being perfection etc.

So being academically successful doesn't alway mean being a success in life.

Very poignant - it’s important to live ‘now’ rather than ‘in goals’. Similarly, it’s important to actually live ‘in life’ rather than live for the life and fantasy you create ‘in your head’ (i.e. sustain your life via ‘daydreams’).

 

[Nitefly]

In fact, this segment from a video game is extremely relevant and definitely gave me a kick in the feels.