How did your last break-up go?

[eyetrip]

So is this only your second relationship??

Yes.

My first relationship was when I was in early twenties and lasted around 1.5 years. Then when I broke that off I was still living with ex when started dating new partner, and then we moved straight in together only 6 months after I ended my first relationship.

I know now that it was a mistake and we moved things along too quickly, but these are the kinds of things you learn from your previous mistakes. I had not learned, and when things weren't going right, with lots of fighting I got depresssed and went on anti-depressants, which only made the situation worse for myself.

At the time we should have been setting boundaries and figuring out whether or not it was going to work, I was on pills that made me not care about much of anything and a year later when I came off, all the problems were still there.

I have not been able to pull myself together to end it since then.

I should really hate my partner, because being 17 years older and having had many relationships to learn from should have seen things weren't right.

I no longer feel like myself any more. I always used to be in control of my life and was able to make hard choices and big changes in my life, but I have been unable to get back to my old self.

 

[mattyprice4004]

There's only one thing to say regarding the "fulfilling needs"...


GET IN THERE MY SON!

 

[.Lethal]

In your situation right now you need to put yourself first. So if you need to end it, end it. It's not going to be easy and no one here can make it any easier but some will give there advice which you can choose to go on but ultimately its down to you to set things right for yourself.

Goodluck.

 

[tres]

My only real "proper" break up was with missus of 3 years ( i was 22).. was quite hard i guess, hadn't had anything like it before, though kept my chin up, had good friends, drank a huge amount
and then slept with her cousin.

 

[Knubje]

In your situation right now you need to put yourself first. So if you need to end it, end it. It's not going to be easy and no one here can make it any easier but some will give there advice which you can choose to go on but ultimately its down to you to set things right for yourself.

Goodluck.

hear! hear! you are the most important person. Your own needs come before others pretty much always (wife and children exceptions).

As you are not in that boat, give priority to number 1 for a change mate. Stay strong and get it done!

 

[Dracata]

Last girlfriend went travelling in February of this year, she broke it off with me in early December and at the time I didn't know why, we'd agreed that we'd see each other until she left then just start seeing other people etc

Anyway she broke it off at the start of December and we barely spoke for a month (The only thought I had was because she didn't want to buy me an xmas present, because that's the sort of thing I'd do ). Anyway we start talking again just before christmas and it turns out she thought it would be easier for us both if she just broke it off so we could get over it before she left, turns out 'she missed me too much' etc and she wanted to see each other again for another couple of months. Unfortunately I was enjoying being single and was on/off seeing someone else, so I ended up seeing them both until she left to go travelling!

 

[Blue Cypher]

Then you arent doing her any favours and you need to stop. If both of you were doing it for just the sex then thats ok, but if shes doing it in the hope you might change your mind and take her back then you are just making a bad situation even worse.

Yeah true, she says she doesnt but im not so sure sometimes, but like i said she knows all the buttons.........so she is asking for it really! however i think i will put an end to it untill i feel she deffinately is only in it for the needs part.

 

[Vixen]

My last break-up was really bad. I had fallen for someone else and things just weren't right between us anyway, but I was scared to let go of something so familiar and be with someone new. Eventually, he moved out and I stopped even trying to hide that I wanted to be with the other guy, I don't even remember who ended it. We were both really confused after, because you get so used to having someone in your life that it's difficult when they're not there any more.

If your heart isn't in it, you need to break it off before the situation gets worse, and cut off all contact for a while. It's difficult, but staying in a relationship that is making you miserable will only make things worse in the end.

 

[Siliconslave]

badly, i'd wager worse than any in here infact, believe me you really don't want to know!

 

[Knubje]

badly, i'd wager worse than any in here infact, believe me you really don't want to know!

Tbh you can't post that and give nothing. Post the story or voteban imo.

 

[kieranv]

went very well, about a month ago, i did the breaking up, im going to her birthday tomorrow

were going out for 9 months.

unlike the one before that, we split up over a year ago and are still arguing

 

[-westy-]

Last relationship lasted for about 9 months, we were friends for a few years first though.

She broke up with me while I was in hospital having my hand put in a cast :/

Fairly messy-ish I suppose, I've had worse. Went on holiday together a few weeks ago, and we were fine, still had fun

Seeing someone else now though, which is going great.

 

[secretspy]

my last break up was awful he dumped me (again.) I started seeing him in April last year seemed to be going well he was always talking about how he wanted a future with me etc, we went on holiday end of september and literally the day we got back i knew something wasnt quite right, he drove home and i simply asked if he was ok, he snapped and said he didnt know about us anymore and wanted to think it over. next day he dumped me (BY TEXT!!) saying it was because i still lived with my parents etc and loads of other lame reasons. then 2 months later he starts getting in contact again (even though he was seeing someone) begged for me back and said he'd done a lot of thinking etc and that he was breaking up with current gf cos she was nasty. I stupidly took him back, again things seemed even better, we were more honest about things that bugged each other, his personal problems eg money were better so he was less stressed, he even suggested us moving in together. i was the one to say "well im not sure" and he was the one who kept pushing. then randomly one night on msn (how respectful!) he said he wasnt sure how things would work out between us, hed just changed jobs and i got the impression that he was unsure of what he wanted again. he decided he wasnt sure about getting married in the future or having kids. I never said anything about it, i said i wanted it with the right person at the right time but he was always saying "your the one, I want to marry you, I want babies with you" then out of the blue bam its over again. it was more upsetting because i felt angry for being so stupid in taking him back. my bfs before him had ended badly too and i just thought "what is so wrong with me that people keep doing this?!" if id had some warning signs then maybe i would have felt a little better and the fact that he didnt have the decency to do it face to face hurt as well because i thought "all this time youve said you loved me yet you clearly dont because you dont care enough to give me the respect i deserve and say this to my face"

 

[neil3k]

men suck the end`

 

[secretspy]

men suck the end`

I'll be nice and say "some" men suck.

 

[Gigi]

My last relationship (of 3.5yrs) ended over the phone.

I got dumped, though it was my own fault. I did spend an entire 2 weeks lying, blatantly, to her face abt speaking to my ex. In the end i came clean, she dumped me. Followed by emails begging me to go back out with her as she had spoken to her work mates abt the reasons why she did dump me. I declined, she went mad, lied that she cheated on me.

Last time i spoke to her i told her i didnt want her to die, just get run over by a bus and spend the rest of her life as a cripple.

Life is great now, will be out of debt soon, got great mates and ive lost weight

 

[DannyDan]

I'll be nice and say "some" men suck.

 

[Kilkus]

Mine was bad, worshipped the ground my GF walked on, kept her and never asked for nothin in return,always put her first ahead of family & friends, tried to change myself to make her happy, helped her through bad times etc never recieved any of this in return tho she just took and took which i realise now but was blind to at the time, lots more negatives but i'll try to keep it brief. Anyways she started seeing another guy while she was with me and ran off with him about 2 months ago now i guess, in the last 2-3 weeks she has started contacting me again and has basically been begging me to have her back while shes still with this other guy, as she still apparently loves me more and doesn't care for this guy. Told her to go **** herself and leave me alone as i realise what a fool i was to put up with her for so long, and after the way she treated me. My entire family and friends are glad to see the back of her after the way she changed me so drastically, much happier now on my own, back to my old joyful self spending time with my friends, altho i miss the company sometimes i know it will come again.

 

[Raymond Lin]

No good byes, she packed up and left one day while i was out in uni.

 

[jaybd]

be a man and dump by text message so much easier