Relationships and money

Cosimo · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:22

Buy the gear, have an argument, make up and live happily ever after. What are you afraid of?

benktlottie · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:22

regulus said:
Water is included where we live, so I pay the gas and electricity, which is less than the council tax she pays every month. Only thing I pay and she doesn't is her car insurance every month, £49. It's not killing me

So, if she is saving 90% of £2k, she is putting £1.8k a month into a savings account?

benktlottie · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:23

regulus said:
hmmm. Any woman posters here that might want to confirm or kick that point into touch?

I have to agree with Easy mate, my wife is the submissive one in our relationship and loves it!

LOL

easyrider · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:23

starfighter said:
Exactly it isn't 1948, women have equal rights, she can go and earn it herself if she doesn't like it.

Indeed,

She wouldn't be in the postion to buy 4 properties if it wasn't for you so tell her to get a grip.

regulus · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:23

benktlottie said:
So, if she is saving 90% of £2k, she is putting £1.8k a month into a savings account?

Roughly, it differs every month. Around 1.7k on average.
We live in a relative's of hers house now, rent free. It helps

regulus · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:24

double post

benktlottie · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:25

regulus said:
Roughly, it differs every month. Around 1.7k on average.
We live in a relative's of hers house, rent free. It helps

Nice setup!

So what is this £1.7k for? As you are paying most things, and she is making the sacrafices, who does that £1.7k a month belong to?

regulus · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:26

benktlottie said:
So what is this £1.7k for? As you are paying most things, and she is making the sacrafices, who does that £1.7k a month belong to?

It belongs to the bank. I pay out around 4.3k towards the mortgages.
I did mention it's all on my name, did I not?

mattpc · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:26

well we're both skint and not earning as much as you but she wouldn't stop me buying an LCD if I wanted. She does guilt trip me a little bit about my technology purchases tho. We have a joint AC for bills and food.

Surfer · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:27

Regulas your gf must be at least happy you quit your WoW/CSS addiction..

btw do you own the flat in greece? Athens is it?

regulus · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:28

Surfer said:
Regulas your gf must be at least happy you quit your WoW/CSS addiction..

btw do you own the flat in greece? Athens is it?

Hehe, yes, it's kicked

benktlottie · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:29

regulus said:
It belongs to the bank. I pay out around 4.3k towards the mortgages.
I did mention it's all on my name, did I not?

LOL - thats funny!

I misunderstood. So she actually contributes £1.7k a month towards the mortgages. I thought you meant she was saving £1.7k a months in a savings acct somewhere.

I feel for you, thats a lot of debt to be shouldering.

In a nutshell, you need her financially then?

Mr Jack · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:31

It's not unreasonable to what a little more now; talk to her about it and make a compromise between what you both want.

regulus · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:34

benktlottie said:
In a nutshell, you need her financially then?

For moral support yes. Financially, no, but it makes it a helluva lot easier.

Cosimo · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:36

regulus said:
For moral support yes. Financially, no, but it makes it a helluva lot easier.

So, buy the gear, have an argument, make up and live happily ever after.

What are you afraid of?

_dogma_ · 19 Oct 2008 at 11:56

regulus said:
hmmm. Any woman posters here that might want to confirm or kick that point into touch?

Load of ****

I agree with the poster that said sit down and talk to her. Tell her that you care about the future but you also want to have fun in the present. If you explain things it will be much better than if you do it anyway. You might out more money into the pot but it is one big pot so she has a right to make some of the decisions as well with regards to frivolities.

In our household we each have separate accounts but put money into a joint account each month to cover mortgage, bills, etc. He pays more than me because he earns more. I've just started uni so he helps me out when I need it.

Hedge · 19 Oct 2008 at 12:08

I would stop working 70hrs a week and then see what she says.

70hrs a week is almost double the standard 37.5 hours. So your wage is good, but at the same time, its not really so far above average when you consider the hours you are putting in.

If i was earning double what the missus was, i must admit that i would be resenting her stopping me buying anything nice

Combat squirrel · 19 Oct 2008 at 12:16

ahhh the consumerism society, personally id sell all those houses, just rent where you happen to be living, and enjoy life, by the time mortgages are paid off most people are past there prime anyways, and have missed the golden opportunity to have thousands of ££ a month to play with, easily travel with that amount of money, see the world etc.

BoomAM · 19 Oct 2008 at 12:17

I can see why shes doing what shes doing, but it doesnt make it right.
The facts as i see them:
- You'd be spending your money not hers.
- The properties wouldnt have been possible if it was just her.
- ITS YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!

Tbh, if it was me, i'd have agreed to put in an equal amount of money into a shared pot each month for the purpose of your 'debts', and any money outside of that that you both either spend elseware or put in the pot is upto each of you seperately.

It basically seems like she's calling the shots, on everything.
And it shouldnt be like that.

From what you describe, with the morgages on your name and all the food/holidays/ect on her, from a legal standpoint, irrc, she wouldnt actually have any comeback should the worst happen, a split.
So if she did disagree with you and threaten a split, then she'd be nacked.
Not the niceist thing to say, but its ammo for you.

Jest3r · 19 Oct 2008 at 12:21

regulus said:
Yes, I want the places. My company is starting a 12 year project in Austria in 2011, so I had to move there anyway. Greece, well, it's nice, same with Slovakia. It's also investments really.

I don't "need" the TV or PC, I said in my post I "want" them since their stronger and bigger counterparts are fairly cheap now.

well personally mate, i see it as a bit of 2 things...

1) It's great to invest to mean that you can forget about stress in later life, and it makes perfect sense, but when you are putting in that much work imo, the time you have off should be time where you can relax, enjoy yourself and de-stress, and when you are making that much then I think there should be a comfort thing.... doing 70 hour weeks means your working late/early every day, not much in way of chance for big nights out etc, so putting in tv's and nice computer etc, which lasts for another 3 yrs is perfectly reasonable, it's not like it'd be a long term pay if off over 30 months payment,