Bad news

[richyfingers]

Well I had a pretty long day today, made a trip down to London to pick up my new car then drove back home to Glasgow. While I made it without incident but I came home to some bad news, I still don’t think its entirely sunk in yet. I just happened to read mosleypu’s post about loosing his dad and it just set me off.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer today, when he told me it literally felt like I had been punched in the gut, I almost passed out, I feel sick, upset, worried the list goes on.

Unfortunately it had been diagnosed too late to be able to remove the tumour so he is going to undergo 3 months of hormone treatment to try and stunt the process and then see how he is. I don’t really have the energy to go into it all now.

My dads always been a picture of health, at 66 he doesn’t look a day over 50, he plays 3-4 rounds of golf a week come rain or shine, goes to the gym and is always active.

Hearing that C word has just scared the hell out of me, I tried to put a brave face on when he told me but I went to pieces as soon as he gave me a hug. He’s just given me a load of stuff for me to read over and has told me to try and not worry.

You always think its going to happen to someone else, really does make you take a step back and remember the important things in life.

Sorry if this post is a all over the place.

 

[Locke]

Sorry to hear that , hope your Dad gets better.

 

[VirtualAdept]

Aye, as above... thoughts are with you and yours

 

[Rotty]

I know this probably won't make you feel any better but prostate cancer is about the slowest delveloping cancer about

often in older people they don't do much about it as it as that slow

I'm sure with some treatment your dad should lead a reasonably normal life, my neighbour has had it for many years and still carries on as normal

 

[asim18]

I sympathise with you dude, I am also very depressed.

Just don't start suppressing your emotions with drink and drugs.

 

[sorn21]

sorry to hear that buddy. But remember, there have been massive advances in therapy for this now, cancer isn't as bad as people always imagine when they hear that word.
Read the stuff your dad gave you, perhaps it will help.
All the best

 

[_dogma_]

I feel for you and I do know what you're feeling. You learn to cope, find out you're stronger than you think. Just be there for your dad.
Hugs and thoughts to your dad and family.

 

[Pestilence]

Very sorry to hear that.

It's not the end of the world though, despite all the scares etc. cancer is very much treatable.

My father in law is in his 70s and, as your dad, doesn't look a day over 50. He had bowel cancer a couple of years ago and has been all clear after surgery. He's still his old self since then, powering on and getting **** done. Don't lose hope.

 

[Rroff]

Prostrate cancer in people 60+ generally (fingers crossed) is so slow developing that they live out their natural lifespan before it becomes life threatening... its also generally fairly benign.

Best of luck to your dad.

 

[mk17]

My father, 65, is currently undergoing chemo for Prostate Cancer - he was "lucky" to get diagnosed early. I say lucky, he has Peripheral Arterial Occlusive Disease and it was during one of his tests that the PC was discovered.

Turns out the doctors are more worried about the impact the treatment may have due to the PAOD than the cancer itself. One of them actually told me that if you're going to get cancer, this is the one to get.

Doctors have a weird sense of humour I suppose!

Best of luck to your dad, and your family mate.

 

[Nor]

All the best to you and your dad Rich.

 

[Manics]

Heh Richy,

Prostate cancer got my Dad about 18 months ago, so I've been through it all. Don't let that freak you out. Firstly as mentioned above every cancer case is unique, it's not something you can easily compare with someone else.

Prostate cancer is one of the least agressive cancers there is. In fact, theres a statistic that something like 60% of over 70 year old men actually have it, but never find out because something else polishes them off before the cancer has any impact.

Anyway, you and your family will start your own journey now but here are the main snippets I can remember from our experience;

Your father will be given steroids and drugs that block testosterone production. PC uses teststerone to grow & spread. My Dad was feeling vert, very ill and these drugs gave him his life back immediatley.

He'll have a CAT scan more than likely to diagnose staging. You're "lucky" your Dad got diagnosed straight away. The doctors thought my Dad had lung cancer first, it took them about 8 weeks to realise it was PC.

Part of any cancer diagnosis is based on "staging". Stage 1 means the cancer is localised, stage 4 "metastatic" means the cancer has spread using other systems (lymph nodes / bone). This is the final stage and sadly where my Dad was at.
As you'll know, the earlier they catch it the better.

Even at stage 4 the mortality rates suggest your Dad has a good chance of not being classed as "terminal" (medical definition of terminal is less than 5 years to live).

Anyway, good luck to you all. If you'd like to share any more with me having been through it just let me know.

Finally, you'll be surprised eventually that actually cancer is something you and your family can live with. You need to get from point A to point B, but you will get there.

 

[Freefaller]

I couldn't imagine what I'd feel like if I heard those words. I can understand the anguish. I hope he gets better or at least keeps it at bay for him to have a healthy as possible life. Hopefully he can keep his life and exercising and try not to let it destroy his life - but I know it's easier said than done.

Thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[TaKeN]

sorry to hear that

I hope he gets better

 

[Pav89]

Sorry to hear about it Richy, although get it into your head that prostate cancer IS the slowest growing cancer.

It's a shame that it happens to very active people, I suffered a similar dilemma where my Dad had a passion for running, ran every day, ran lots of marathons, then out of nowhere, a heart attack came along, and he's had running taken away from him.


Just keep your hopes up lad, and be there for your dad, which I'm sure you will be as things like this really make you stop and think about meaningful people in your life.

 

[richyfingers]

Thanks for all the kind words guys, I appreciate it. I’ve read through most of the information pack he gave me and it has taken some of the terror out the news. As has been said it is the leas aggressive cancer and many patients can still live normally with it.

I think the biggest shock was hearing him say cancer, it’s such a terrifying word. I just want to be there for him, sitting blubbering isn’t going to do him any good. He does seem very upbeat about it but I know he must be terrified inside but my dads a fighter and he’s not one to let things get to him. As he said last night ‘he wont let it get him’

Thanks guys.

 

[carbon8ed]

My sympathy's to your family, had C in the familt, but luckily both mum and num-in-law have survived, albeit after surgery, chemo and now on pills, just try and be positive both with and for your dad.

hope he pulls through and with a loving family and friends, he stands a good chance, the chemo will wipe him out, so he may be not be as sprightly as before, perhaps cut down to 2 rounds of golf, with a par4 on the 19th hole!

 

[GJ02]

hey richy
sorry to hear this mate, as you know my story as you posted in there, the only thing i can offer you is this, just keep as strong as you can, be there for your dad and enjoy every day and take every day as it comes. im sure your dad is the best dad in the world just like my dad was / is.
stick with him mate, do some stuff with him golf etc etc keep him cherpy as hard as it may seem for you both keep your heads up and keep smiling !

 

[NeilF]

My father died suddenly from a heart attack and he was about the same age as your father. He too also looked after himself, to a very careful degree. Didn't smoke, hardly drank, went swimming most days of the week. He didn't even eat roast potatoes he was so careful! So to then have him die of a heart attack at a seemingly young age seemed VERY unfair.

However, you still have your father! He's certainly not gone yet! Make the most of it!

 

[ScarySquirrel]

My thoughts are with you and your family.
Having lost my Dad to cancer (albeit it a different type) I feel your pain right now.

All the best.

Unlike your Dad though my Dad wasn't the picture of health. Smoked and drank all his life despite a triple heart bypass and various stents (I think that is what they are called) being put in. He always said he didn't want to be 60 and we are sure he had decided to just let go as it was only a couple of months before his birthday.

It looks like some people have offered some good advice to you and I hope that this diagnosis doesn't stop him leading a happy life until he is much much older