To tell or not to tell?

Mr-White · 26 Apr 2009 at 09:40

is that her ?

MW

semi-pro waster · 26 Apr 2009 at 09:55

placeholder said:
T**ts is a bad word???

Tents is indeed a bad word, we don't like camping round here.

If you mean a synonym for breasts then it's been added to the word filter it would appear along with a few others that the powers that be don't want used.

vonhelmet said:
If boy is Christian, boy should be familiar with the passage I quoted above and should understand it's not in the best interests of his faith.

I suppose it then depends how importantly he views his religion and whether he could (or even should) attempt to put it before his own potential personal happiness. I'm not sure that religion has to be a barrier between people finding happiness together but then again I'm not religious so it will depend on how other people view their beliefs.

Hxc · 26 Apr 2009 at 10:11

Tell her, you have nothing to lose. Telling someone you have feelings for them very, very rarely alienates them as a friend. In experience it has always brought the two closer.

It'll be awkward for a couple of days but after a week or so it's all better, as you will normally very quickly lose that crush on her, if you know it's definitely not a possibility.

Can't really comment on the religious issue, I've only seen non christians with strong christians, not a mix of religions.

Vonhelmet · 26 Apr 2009 at 11:13

I'm just going on the fact that if said his faith was important to him. If he values it, he'd be advised not to risk it.

Fuzz · 26 Apr 2009 at 11:56

Sparky__H said:
tell her. Damn 10 years from now it'll be eating you still that you never told her.

I know from personal experience.

THIS X 10

baz047 · 26 Apr 2009 at 12:43

Hxc said:
Tell her, you have nothing to lose. Telling someone you have feelings for them very, very rarely alienates them as a friend. In experience it has always brought the two closer.

It'll be awkward for a couple of days but after a week or so it's all better, as you will normally very quickly lose that crush on her, if you know it's definitely not a possibility.

I couln't disagree more, every time I see a guy do this and the girl has no interest she quickly disasociates herself with them.

And the thing about the crush going away is just ridiculous, my mate in school asked a girl out if 1st and 2nd year and continued to like her until he finished school...the heart wants what it wants.

Hxc · 26 Apr 2009 at 12:49

Well, perhaps it's in my experience then. A girl I liked for quite a period of time is now pretty much my best friend, and I'm better friends with a girl who liked me, but I just wanted to be friends.

Seen it with mates as well, I think it very much depends on how much the people want to make it work; they obviously weren't decent friends before hand if they can't be afterwards.

Crush always goes when I tell the other person, it's a bit of a downer for a while but you just gotta move on...

baz047 · 26 Apr 2009 at 12:59

I suppose we've just seen different things i guess.

Wonder which way it would go if the TC told her...

Ross1234 · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:03

Would you really sacrifice bacon rolls just for her?

DJ_Switch · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:05

I have 3 friends who are very happily married to Muslim women in mixed religious relationships. Quite surprised at some of the very narrow minded comments from some here.

Tell her how you feel or grow to regret it. If she's as cool as you say then by all means tell her. If you both like each other then it can transcend a multitude of mutually perceived differences. Go for it.

baz047 · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:09

Yeah, some of the comments shocked me too.

And it's only bacon.

Craig R · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:11

1. Realise that Christianity is nonsense and become an atheist
2. Tell her
3. Convince her to follow your example in step 1

Vegeta · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:14

Hey mate I might be able to give you a better opinion than some here - as my parents are very strict muslims where im not.

Muslims girls are really under the thumb under the parents, if you told her you like her and she feels the same and you do something you will cause her unbelieveable amount of trouble - you wil bring massive shame upon her and her family, so much soo i'd imagine they'd kick her out she'll lose all the close relationships she has with her family and a lot of her friends too, you will quite frankly change her life. Or the family might force her into an arranged marriage or take her abroad then you will definately lose her forever.

Only the flipside, like I expect, yeah she probably does like you, but even if you asked her she won't go for you as muslim girls are very very family orientated and they would never give that up for a guy.

Basically how much do you care for her? Don't mean to sound 'gay' but do you care enough for her to leave her alone? As you getting with her might cause her more trouble than it's worth especially if it didn't work out.

What i'd do? Try and make her more independant, let her decide herself whether she wants to live a westernised life or not, once she breaks ties with her family (she eventually will have to when she is asked to get an arranged marriage or not) or stays with them make your move, if she desserts the family go for it, if not leave her be.

EDIT: Ignore what I just said, if she's half egyptian/greek/turkish or whatever parents aren't anywhere near as bad HAHA and they're not into arranged marriages? Go for it mate seriously.

lynchy6789 · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:34

JBuk said:
Nail her

*to a cross

aha ha that fantastic

icey_haj · 26 Apr 2009 at 13:50

Vegeta said:
snip

I think you're talking from a more Asian perspective there.

LORD APOCALYPSE · 26 Apr 2009 at 14:44

DO NOT TELL HER!!! :eek:

Ask her out on a date, that's the only way you should 'tell' her.

If she says no, friends away, at least you'll know her feelings.

Sheesh, you guys have all been watching too many soppy american movies. The only time you tell a girl you like her is when you tie the knot and make your kissing legal!

Hxc · 26 Apr 2009 at 14:52

LORD APOCALYPSE said:
DO NOT TELL HER!!!

Ask her out on a date, that's the only way you should 'tell' her. If she says no, friends away, at least you'll know her feelings.

Doesn't always quite work like that. Recently I went out with a girl one to one quite a lot of times, nothing ended up happening so I told her that I liked her, and she thought it was completely out of the blue.... :/

Artest · 26 Apr 2009 at 14:58

Let me tell her.

Mr-White · 26 Apr 2009 at 15:01

Vegeta said:
Hey mate I might be able to give you a better opinion than some here - as my parents are very strict muslims where im not.

Muslims girls are really under the thumb under the parents, if you told her you like her and she feels the same and you do something you will cause her unbelieveable amount of trouble - you wil bring massive shame upon her and her family, so much soo i'd imagine they'd kick her out she'll lose all the close relationships she has with her family and a lot of her friends too, you will quite frankly change her life. Or the family might force her into an arranged marriage or take her abroad then you will definately lose her forever.

so the pursuit of happiness brings shame on the family :confused:

So not only have you got to win her heart you've got to win over her family and her god....good luck with that !

MW

Vita · 26 Apr 2009 at 15:13

Vegeta said:
Hey mate I might be able to give you a better opinion than some here - as my parents are very strict muslims where im not.

Muslims girls are really under the thumb under the parents, if you told her you like her and she feels the same and you do something you will cause her unbelieveable amount of trouble - you wil bring massive shame upon her and her family, so much soo i'd imagine they'd kick her out she'll lose all the close relationships she has with her family and a lot of her friends too, you will quite frankly change her life. Or the family might force her into an arranged marriage or take her abroad then you will definately lose her forever.

Only the flipside, like I expect, yeah she probably does like you, but even if you asked her she won't go for you as muslim girls are very very family orientated and they would never give that up for a guy.

Basically how much do you care for her? Don't mean to sound 'gay' but do you care enough for her to leave her alone? As you getting with her might cause her more trouble than it's worth especially if it didn't work out.

What i'd do? Try and make her more independant, let her decide herself whether she wants to live a westernised life or not, once she breaks ties with her family (she eventually will have to when she is asked to get an arranged marriage or not) or stays with them make your move, if she desserts the family go for it, if not leave her be.

EDIT: Ignore what I just said, if she's half egyptian/greek/turkish or whatever parents aren't anywhere near as bad HAHA and they're not into arranged marriages? Go for it mate seriously.

+1. It isn't easy for Muslim girls, even when they're with the same Race/cast/religion of guys. Still causes trouble for them.