What's the best double entedre you have ever found?

[Docaroo]

On a field trip I once had a (rather nice looking) polish farm worker come up to me and say:

"Hi, are you good at screwing?"

I was like... "WTF .. damn!"

"I have something I need screwed!"

Turns out she meant a sign, screw and a screwdriver! But by then I already had my trousers off !...

haha

 

[floatindolphin]

In work, I'm in the Facial Department

 

[Moredhel]

Our muffins are moist and sticky, just like fanny's.


An ad run by "The Fabulous Bakin' Boys," with a picture of a woman, supposedly called fanny, taking some muffins out of an oven.

 

[EffBee]

Sign on front door of a "Sauna and Massage Parlour"I passed recently on the way to a Hospital Appointment in Birmingham.

"Please Use Rear Entrance"

 

[Moredhel]

Reminds me of this one:

This one is quite good too:

 

[batsy]

I always remember the commentator at the end of the Oxford/Cambridge boat race a few years ago saying

"And here's Princess Anne to kiss the cox of the winning crew" lol

 

[Kaed]

I keep a list of things like this at work


'It won't stay in if it's not stiff'

Michelle, offering a reason why the stand of her new flatscreen wont easily fit into its base.


'I don't need porn, i've got a daughter mate!'

Eric, trying to suggest why he wouldn't use the internet to look at porn in work's time.

What he really meant was that he had a happy marriage which had brought him a daughter and he loved his wife very much... ...trouble was it didn't 'come out' that way.

'Push it in, then slide it back'

Graham, trying to explain how to remove the battery cover on a humidity / temperature gauge

I've got loads of them all like this!

 

[Greenlizard0]

Allo Allo is just filled with them

"Quick - I have to use your back passage!"

 

[Worthy]

I was fixing a ticket printer at work a while back. I asked him if he could try it again and he said:

"Want me to fire one off quickly for you?"

Haha, I burst out laughing down the phone.

 

[semi-pro waster]

I can't remember the exact wording but a cricket commentator with two (un)fortunately named players said "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie" which always get a chuckle from me.
...

David Coleman was so good at these slipups there is even a term "Colemanballs" to describe them.

One of the best has to be about the great Cuban runner Alberto Juantorena (aka El Caballo - the Horse) "the big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class".

 

[jonesy]

thanks ricky1981, aint laughed that hard in a while!