So this horse walks into a bar...
- Thread starter luanswan2002
- Start date
When was the bear-sufragette movement in the uk? I forget.
Soldato
A poller-bear?
Does he walk into the bar and ask if they have lager?
Then ask again if they have lager.
Then ask again if they have lager.
Then ask again if they have lager...
No!
Soldato
"why the clown?"
Soldato
Man of Honour
What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?
Patty O'Furniture!
Patty O'Furniture!
- Joined
- 24 Apr 2009
- Posts
- 135
Soldato
whats white and cant climb tree's?
a fridge!
a fridge!
Caporegime
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
Dr. Dre.
Man of Honour
What's the difference between your job & your wife?
After 5 years, your job still sucks.
What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
About three inches.
After 5 years, your job still sucks.
What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
About three inches.
Caporegime
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Man of Honour
Paddy and his heavily pregnant, single sister are involved in a car accident. When Teresa wakes up the doctor tells her that she has been in a coma for months.
"Oh my god!" she screamed. "What about the baby? Is my baby all right?"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Everything is fine - in fact you had twins! A boy and a girl and they're both doing great."
"Oh thank god! And what about Paddy? Is he ok?"
"Your brother is fine too. He thought you wouldn't mind if he named the twins, we didn't know how long you would be in a coma."
"Oh Jesus, he's ****e with names, what did he call them?"
"Well, he named your daughter Denise..."
"Really? That's actually quite nice. What about the other one?"
"Denephew."
"Oh my god!" she screamed. "What about the baby? Is my baby all right?"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Everything is fine - in fact you had twins! A boy and a girl and they're both doing great."
"Oh thank god! And what about Paddy? Is he ok?"
"Your brother is fine too. He thought you wouldn't mind if he named the twins, we didn't know how long you would be in a coma."
"Oh Jesus, he's ****e with names, what did he call them?"
"Well, he named your daughter Denise..."
"Really? That's actually quite nice. What about the other one?"
"Denephew."
Consigliere
Best joke thread in ages. 
Two peanuts are walking down the street...
one was assaulted.
...
Two packets of crisps are walking down the street, a car stops and the driver asks "do you guys fancy a lift?" to which the crisps reply "no thanks, we're walkers"
....
My little girl came up to me, a tear welled in her eye
she asked me what would happen, when Sam her rabbit died.
I said we'd get a shoe box and put dear Sam inside.
Then bury him beneath the swing that stands next to the slide.
And then we'd throw a party, the best you've ever seen!
Play party games, eat sausage rolls, have jelly with ice cream.
When she heard my story, all she could say was "WOW!!!"
"why wait until the day he dies, let's kill the bunny now!!"
(i'll get my coat)
one was assaulted.
...
Two packets of crisps are walking down the street, a car stops and the driver asks "do you guys fancy a lift?" to which the crisps reply "no thanks, we're walkers"
....
My little girl came up to me, a tear welled in her eye
she asked me what would happen, when Sam her rabbit died.
I said we'd get a shoe box and put dear Sam inside.
Then bury him beneath the swing that stands next to the slide.
And then we'd throw a party, the best you've ever seen!
Play party games, eat sausage rolls, have jelly with ice cream.
When she heard my story, all she could say was "WOW!!!"
"why wait until the day he dies, let's kill the bunny now!!"
(i'll get my coat
)