She didn't tell me she was pregnant.....

[iv-tecman]

Well, even though she didn’t tell me she was over 11 weeks pregnant my gf has just had a miscarriage. Happened last night during dinner, complained about a headache and stomach cramps, I thought she was coming down with a stomach bug or something….

So she went upstairs and then decided to sit in a bath of hot water, she was in there for over an hour, so thought best to go and check…. Obviously she knew what had happened. I didn’t, in fact I had no idea at first why she was crying on the toilet, and the bath looked – well… yuck..!!

So, hospital let her out early this morning, I can’t sleep even though she is at the moment asleep, which will be the drugs they gave to relax her…

No idea why she didn’t tell me she was pregnant, sure she’d have known. I know we had no plans to have kids, can’t help but feel a little upset though. Both for it’s a sad loss, and why she didn’t tell me?

Feelings are confused…… Really don’t know what to think, not too sure its actually sunk in….. I looked at her before writing this, looking at her asleep, and not too sure if I should feel angry or cry.. Why couldn’t she tell me? She must’ve known?

I really should try and get some sleep.... Guess I'm just a bit, well confused and restless, too much on my mind... and I need to keep an eye on her. In case she needs something when she wakes up..

 

[neil3k]

 

[arknor]

yea she probably knew , search her handbag and the bins for evidence of pregnancy test kits! then pin them to the ceiling above the bed.

maybe she was scared and didnt know wether you wanted a baby? maybe she was still trying to come to terms with beeing pregnant before she was ready to tell you.

 

[antijoke]

Sorry to hear that mate.

 

[Aero]

Sorry to hear that

Be supportive of her dude, she might have been to scared to tell you. Go grab yourself some Z's

 

[JAMAL]

Ignore

Wrong place, Wrong time.

 

[TinkerBell]

I don't know why she didn't tell you, maybe she was just trying to figure out the best way to tell you.

I think you need to try and stop thinking about it for now, because you thinking about it and getting more worked up about it isn't going to help. Talk to her in the morning when she has woken up as you need answers.

 

[Indie]

really sorry to hear that.

Maybe she didn't tell you because she was afraid too? not saying your a nasty person or anything, but as you didnt plan it, she may of thought you'd not react in how she'd want?

then on the other hand you could expect the worst.. a said by Jamal. but regardless, be supportive.

 

[PapaLazaru]

I feel for you man.

Like you say she probably knew, just by her reaction when you found her. She has been keeping it secret for sometime now and regardless of the reasons, it must have been really tough on her.

Your call how you react but find out the reasons why before you get angry. She just needs your support at the moment, even if it turns out to be the worst.

 

[Tom0]

Sad events.

Don't be angry. Talk with her and support her. Move forward together.

I'm not saying you're not allowed to be upset, but don't dwell on things.

 

[zero-one]

Sorry to hear that mate.

Give her some time and make sure you're there for her - you'll be able to talk to her about it soon. She probably just needs some time to get over the shock of it.

As for the reason she couldn't tell you - don't jump to any conclusions - it's a massive thing being pregnant - maybe she was scared and didn't know what to do.

 

[TheMightyTen]

Be supportive, for all you feel confused, her body has just been through hell and her emotions will be equally as shot to pieces. Care for her, support her and when things calm down talk to her with an open mind. Ignore the idiots on here with all the search her stuff, she's cheating bs.

 

[UncleBob]

Don't beat yourself up about it, it isn't uncommon for women to keep quiet if they're unsure how their partner will react to the news or if they're undecided as to keeping it etc.

The missus has had a few miscarriages and it is upsetting, but we've now got a 3 month old baby boy (who seems to be growing exponentially and is already in 9-12month clothes!) and I can't imagine life without him tbh

 

[Freefaller]

Sad events.

Don't be angry. Talk with her and support her. Move forward together.

I'm not saying you're not allowed to be upset, but don't dwell on things.

Sums it up perfectly for me.

Sorry to hear the sad news, no matter what the circumstances this must be one of the most emotional things that some people have to go through Hope you both pick up soon.

 

[Cosimo]

I’m sorry to hear that. Just don’t be angry and give her all the support you can. You’ll get through it together.

 

[Manlove is my forte]

Sorry to hear that

Be supportive of her dude, she might have been to scared to tell you. Go grab yourself some Z's

Put her needs first. She will need all the support she can get right now. Her not telling you is not important now or ever, what is important is she lost her baby and she will need you to be there for her.

 

[Twentyone]

I'm so sorry to hear that

Don't beat yourself up over it like others have said. Pregnancy is a huge thing and she was maybe trying to get over the surprise of being pregnant herself before wanting to tell you. Especially if there was no plans at all to have kids at this time. She has probably been beating herself up for it trying to find out how and what to do next. Remember that most girls know it happens but don't really think it can happen to them. Obvious but true. can only imagine the shock of finding out and the extreme pain it must be to lose a baby..

 

[burtie]

My partner had a miscarrage a while back while walking the kids to school, We both had no idea she was pregnant so It's possible your partner didn't no about it. My thoughts are with you both

 

[jakeke]

Talk to her, there must be a reason.

 

[Skidder]

I hate to say this mate but the only reason i can think of that a partner would keep this secret is due to cheating, i'm sure there are other reasons that i wouldn't understand though

There are many other reasons, so OP don't take the above comment too seriously. Woman have a roller coaster ride of hormones during pregnancy and this can impact their judgement. If you had not planned it she may have been feerful of your reaction. She may have been in denial about the pregnancy. She may have bla bla bla..........the only way you will get to understand the root is by talking to her calmly.

I have had several friends have miscarriages (as does everybody when they reach the age where their mates start breeding - it is around 1:4 pregnancies if I recall correctly) and it is tough but you will get your head around it. Perhaps different when it was the first you knew of the pregnancy.

Hope you both take good care of each other.