Your best drunk achievement / story to date!
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
First year of uni, me and my new gf went to a house party of my flatmate's gf. Being skint students, all we could afford was a bottle each of the nastiest, cheapest vodka in the shop. Our budget didn't stretch to mixers, so I grabbed a bottle of cordial from the flat.
My first error was deciding to use the vodka to dilute the cordial, with no additional water. My second was playing One Big Chicken (I think that's what it's called, don't know the rules, never played it since, though I assume I'm pretty rubbish at it anyway). My memory of the following events is non-existant, though my gf later informed me that I drank over 1L vodka in 30mins, after which I fell backwards off my chair, stood up and informed nobody inparticular that 'this is the final straw' and stormed off.
Unfortunately there were 3 flights of stairs down which I monumentally failed to descend on my feet. Apparently my gf though I had hit my head as initially i wasn't responding, but then after a few seconds got up, grabbed her and dragged her back to her flat. Once back she went to the loo, and my drunken self decided to go to bed, in her flatmate's bed, with her rather startled flatmate (who had never met me before).
This proved to be the final straw and I was sent packing to my own flat. The next recollection I have is waking up choking on my own vomit, fully clothed in my own bed. Looking over to the clock and seeing I had 5 mins til a tutorial, having a hasty shower, and heading into uni. It seems I reached the entrance to my flat, before passing out - half in and half out of the flat. I was found by my flatmate about an hour later, covered in "helpful" notes (such as 'return to sender') and with my ass on show
My first error was deciding to use the vodka to dilute the cordial, with no additional water. My second was playing One Big Chicken (I think that's what it's called, don't know the rules, never played it since, though I assume I'm pretty rubbish at it anyway). My memory of the following events is non-existant, though my gf later informed me that I drank over 1L vodka in 30mins, after which I fell backwards off my chair, stood up and informed nobody inparticular that 'this is the final straw' and stormed off.
Unfortunately there were 3 flights of stairs down which I monumentally failed to descend on my feet. Apparently my gf though I had hit my head as initially i wasn't responding, but then after a few seconds got up, grabbed her and dragged her back to her flat. Once back she went to the loo, and my drunken self decided to go to bed, in her flatmate's bed, with her rather startled flatmate (who had never met me before).
This proved to be the final straw and I was sent packing to my own flat. The next recollection I have is waking up choking on my own vomit, fully clothed in my own bed. Looking over to the clock and seeing I had 5 mins til a tutorial, having a hasty shower, and heading into uni. It seems I reached the entrance to my flat, before passing out - half in and half out of the flat. I was found by my flatmate about an hour later, covered in "helpful" notes (such as 'return to sender') and with my ass on show
Fantastic!
Man of Honour
I turn into a bit of an athlete when drunk! For some reason I think it might be a good idea to walk/run home but I have a habit of getting lost. I got some 26km the last time before I got sense and got on a bus to return to where I started!
I managed to have a complete blackout after 1 pint! I had pulled an all nighter, sat the exam, went to the pub and can't remember anything after ordering my first pint. Was carried home at about 18:00, got up at 00:00 and met up with the lads for round 2!
I managed to have a complete blackout after 1 pint! I had pulled an all nighter, sat the exam, went to the pub and can't remember anything after ordering my first pint. Was carried home at about 18:00, got up at 00:00 and met up with the lads for round 2!
How come you're still posting?
We finished at 3, I went home at 5
edit: I'm still at home and staying that way
Alcohol gives me serious energy powers. I can run for what seems like forever when drinking, makes no sense.
Soldato
I love running home after a night out. Usually get dropped off by taxis about 10 mins from home so its in the middle for me and mates and just jog it.
During one of these jogs a police van cruised up along side me and asked how i was doing and i managed to slur 'vrerye goofank you' to them but they seemed content and drove off.
You should get out more, you philistine.
Thanks, but I do go out.
Soldato
I woke up in between two lesbians this morning!
Soldato
I failed my Q&A with the cops during a different late night walk about! Apparently motorways aren't for running, especially as I was, once again, heading in the wrong direction! They were nice enough to drive me home where I realised that I had lost my Sony R900 so I headed out again to look for it- got sense after an hour and headed back!
once i got smashed in a club found my way to the toilets threw up a load and went to sleep
woke up to the sound of the bouncers kicking the door in needless to say i got escorted off the premises, oh wait it gets better i had no phone at the time so i thought everyone had gone home
jumped in a taxi to my friends parents house (we where staying there for the weekend whilst they were away)
no one was home
found the key in the usual place (under the bin) took of my shoes and left them on the pavement. left the front door open now i cant really remember anything else but was told that the ps2 was on and had played driver
the oven and grill were both on low with nothing in
sick over every counter in the kitchen
my clothes were in the washing machine with bleach in the conditioner tray (not turned on) lol
and there i was asleep on the floor of the downstairs bog in just my pants
and i had to clean up the next day wearing my mates dads clothes
beat that
woke up to the sound of the bouncers kicking the door in needless to say i got escorted off the premises, oh wait it gets better i had no phone at the time so i thought everyone had gone home
jumped in a taxi to my friends parents house (we where staying there for the weekend whilst they were away)
no one was home
found the key in the usual place (under the bin) took of my shoes and left them on the pavement. left the front door open now i cant really remember anything else but was told that the ps2 was on and had played driver
the oven and grill were both on low with nothing in
sick over every counter in the kitchen
my clothes were in the washing machine with bleach in the conditioner tray (not turned on) lol
and there i was asleep on the floor of the downstairs bog in just my pants
and i had to clean up the next day wearing my mates dads clothes
beat that
Associate
Another one I have, I got lost on a troop training ground which is 2 fields away from my friends house. I ended up about 10 miles away from the house.
Man of Honour
Were they lesbians before you got into bed with them or did they decide it was the better option after you appeared?
I'm going to assume that it's a good effort on your part anyway though, aside from that how are things going? It's been ages since that Edinburgh meet.
Soldato
The aftermath of my 21st involved me passed out on a train heading to the next nearest town, stark naked except for a black tie someone had "artfully" arranged into a bow-tie around my scrotum, holding a £20 note in one hand & a napkin with my address scribbled on it in the other. My Dad (a copper) has never been so proud as when he answered the door at 3am to a laughing taxi driver saying "is this thing yours mate?"