Monday Joke

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Let's get the week off to a flying start!

A Higgs-Boson walks into a church, the priest says "We don't allow Higgs-Bosons in here.".

The Higgs-Boson says "But without me how can you have mass?"
 
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A friend of mine just started his own business, making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof.
 
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A month before my granddad died, the doctor told my nan to spread margarine on his back. After that he went downhill very quickly.
 
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A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.
 
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I always remember the last thing my grandad said to me before he kicked the bucket


"Grandson look how far I can kick this bucket"

:cool:
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