my dads toilet has a bidet built in. its got a top mounted flush and the bidet button looks no differet from the flush button
so first time i used it i do my buisiness get off press the bidet button thinking it was the flush out pops some chrome pipework to where your A hole would be and shoots out an icy cold stream of water right up to the celing. i was like WTH was that ****
i had to give it a go it was the most uncomfortable thing ive ever experienced and left me with a soggy arse never used it since.