Inappropriate jokes / moments in life

[scotty365]

I was on a course where the guy running it had said he was a widower as of last year

One week on this fellow on the course decided to tell him a joke...

I've been spending a lot of time at my wifes grave recently
She doesn't know yet, she thinks I'm building a garden pond.

He had just told me this joke a few minutes before and I tried to stop him but it was too late. Horribly embarrassing.

 

[khushy]

Cee U Next Tuesday - enough said!

 

[Gaygle]

Cee U Next Tuesday - enough said!

LOL done that before.

 

[xBLiNG]

HAHA like your mum!

"My mum is dead "

*Want the ground to swallow me up*

 

[wannabedamned]

This thread reminds me of waynes world when they're talking to the guy with a glass eye

Best copy i could find in english -_-

 

[ElectroBlaster]

must have heard this before some where as im not quick enough but actually happened in the "Mall".

I was stopped by one of them women with a clipboard from superdrug... She said 'what grooming products do you use?' I said 'haribos and high school musical'

Any one else anything to tickle the old ribs on a Monday eve?

LMAO that is sick m8

 

[Yamahahahahaha]

A couple of friends and I were having a banter about something or other. Forgetting my company I made a joke about the sexual orientation of my friends fathers.

One's father had died recently, the other was estranged from birth.

I am an awful **** sometimes.

 

[Werewolf]

*awaits huddy's input in the thread...probably bout 5 pages worth*

 

[Rainmaker]

*awaits huddy's input in the thread...probably bout 5 pages worth*

Apparently, he started typing his reply before this thread even went up; and he still hasn't finished.

 

[Parky]

I once played a game of football with some mates and people who we didn't know who offered us a game. Some time into the game my mate did a lovely ball over the top which I hit on the half volley, It rocketed forward but swerved just a little wide and smashed some guy stood by the goal full belt in the face knocking him over. A lot of us found it funny and I said to him in a jokey mannor 'sorry mate but you didn't see that coming though did you!'. At which point his friends took offence and informed me that he was basically blind.....

 

[mac1st3]

A while back I was chatting to a girl, getting on pretty well and having a laugh, and I made a usual "your mum" comment thinking nothing of it, she laughed along
some time later we were talking again, she made some terrible joke and I responded with "you're about as funny as cancer!"

You've guessed it folks, her mother had died of cancer, thankfully she wasn't offended by it, I just made sure to avoid those topics ever again while she laughed at me and my stupidity >.<

 

[Guru]

I was walking past a really fat woman in the bus station once eating a mars bar, she turned to her mate and said "I wish I had another one". As I walked past I said "I think you've had enough"

I couldn't believe I'd said it and I still don't know why I said it out loud instead of just thinking it!

 

[int]

Having a joke with a bloke in a wheelchair about women and how long they take to shop for clothes.

Followed it up by saying "well at least they have that one chair for the poor bloke to sit in whilst he's waiting"...

Cue silence.

 

[Nash]

I was walking past a really fat woman in the bus station once eating a mars bar, she turned to her mate and said "I wish I had another one". As I walked past I said "I think you've had enough"

I couldn't believe I'd said it and I still don't know why I said it out loud instead of just thinking it!

Haha that's hilarious! What did she say?

 

[Jingo...]

"I'm hungry"

 

[Aman]

Im quite good at creating inappropriate moments for other people, 4 years ago i had cancer and at the time i had to get a passport which meant i had no hair and my passport photo is quite bad, of course now i've got quite abit of hair and look nothing like my passport picture so when out buying drink/going into clubs/pubs the bouncers/staff usually tend to crack some sort of skin head joke/laugh at which point i tell them that was from when i had cancer. Cue them usually feeling really bad and me feeling pretty amused with myself, got quite a few free drinks in pubs this way.

 

[TheCenturion]

EDIT: I get it now

 

[Westie]

Knock Knock!

Whos there?

Not Maddy!