Divorce questions

jbloggs · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:24

A few pointers from my experience some years ago:

1) First, make sure that it is REALLY over between you, this is achieved by talking, I know that this sounds fundamental, but there are couples who don't even do this!

2) If it is, use a solicitor.

3) Make sure ALL agreements made between you and the other party are in writing, signed and witnessed (and if you use a solicitor this will be done).

4) Don't let it turn you into a bitter person.

Cuchulain · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:29

Jimbo said:
Im thinking this....

http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/services/managed_divorce/managed_divorce.asp

£193 do you think thats all you would have to pay? moneys gonna be tight now Im apart from her.

That's just the solicitors fees, unless you're on income support etc. you're still liable for £385 court fees.

stinamoo · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:42

*deleted*

Phoenixdancer · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:50

May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

I feel that people who split are simple cowards, My parents did but thats cus my dad went off with a new woman.

LordSplodge · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:50

jbloggs said:
A few pointers from my experience some years ago:

1) First, make sure that it is REALLY over between you, this is achieved by talking, I know that this sounds fundamental, but there are couples who don't even do this!

2) If it is, use a solicitor.

3) Make sure ALL agreements made between you and the other party are in writing, signed and witnessed (and if you use a solicitor this will be done).

4) Don't let it turn you into a bitter person.

This, especially the first and last points.

Cuchulain · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:53

Phoenixdancer said:
May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

I feel that people who split are simple cowards, My parents did but thats cus my dad went off with a new woman.

Oh the irony of you calling people simple.

stinamoo · 24 Jan 2011 at 11:58

*deleted*

LordSplodge · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:11

Phoenixdancer said:
May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

There are many reasons not just adultery and not all them have blame attached.

~J~ · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:17

Phoenixdancer said:
May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

I feel that people who split are simple cowards, My parents did but thats cus my dad went off with a new woman.

LordSplodge said:
There are many reasons not just adultery and not all them have blame attached.

LordSplodge has the perfect answer.

subbytna · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:20

solicitors can poison things between you as they work on commission....I did it alone with the ex-wife( filed papers ourselves at the court) and things were much cheaper and we are still now amicable with each other. I've got a friend who used a solicitor and they were paying thousands and ended up bitter towards each other and I think the solicitors encouraged bitterness as it meant more money for them

Metalface Mark · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:25

Phoenixdancer said:
May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

I feel that people who split are simple cowards, My parents did but thats cus my dad went off with a new woman.

I presume then you dont speak to your dad any longer for going off with another woman and your mum either for being a simple coward?

People split for a variety of reasons, sometimes vows mean something to one person but nothing to the other party, your petty trolling insults add nothing to this thread and suggest if you cant contribute anything of note, then you should stay out.

Wyrdo · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:32

stinamoo said:
If you literally just want the divorce, and can sort the rest out between you, then fill in the court forms yourself. It's pretty easy and the cheapest way to do it, you'll only have to pay the court costs. Phone up your local county court and ask them to send you the forms. It will come with guides on how to fill it in depending on reason for divorce, who is petitioning etc. Good luck

This is what I did, made the ex-wife pay the court costs as it was her that caused the damn divorce

Phoenixdancer · 24 Jan 2011 at 12:57

Metalface Mark said:
I presume then you dont speak to your dad any longer for going off with another woman and your mum either for being a simple coward?

People split for a variety of reasons, sometimes vows mean something to one person but nothing to the other party, your petty trolling insults add nothing to this thread and suggest if you cant contribute anything of note, then you should stay out.

My mother was left alone... He left without gieving a reason untill randomly a year later.

She didnt have any idea there were problems and she had issues the years after due to this.

My dad has been in the Austriala since

Metalface Mark · 24 Jan 2011 at 13:46

Phoenixdancer said:
My mother was left alone... He left without gieving a reason untill randomly a year later.

She didnt have any idea there were problems and she had issues the years after due to this.

My dad has been in the Austriala since

I can understand that you would be angry with him for doing what he did, but you cant label everyone getting divorced the same. I didnt have any idea my wife wasnt happy and there was nothing I could do to change her mind and believe me I tried for a good while, according to you though vows meant nothing and im a simple coward.

Admiral Huddy · 24 Jan 2011 at 14:33

Phoenixdancer said:
May i ask why your getting divorced?

Did the vows you made not meen a thing to you?

.. that's rather harsh tbh. You obviously feel quite bitter about divorce going by personal experience and although adultery does go on, there are other reasons.

It's called life and it concurs up some rather awkward cards at times. Marriage is more about compromise and understanding rather than the joining of two people as one by contract or vows. I think a lot of people forget this or are not prepared to take such a commitment. However, circumstances and situations change, particularly between two people. You can just fall out of love with someone and you can't make or force anyone to love. Not unless you want to live your life in a miserable mess which is what a lots of people in decades gone have done. We live in more liberal times and when all else fails, then sometimes divorce is a solution rather than an easy way out.

SB118 · 24 Jan 2011 at 14:59

LordSplodge said:
There are many reasons for adultery and not all them have blame attached.

Is it wrong that i read it that way?