ex-mate demanding money with menaces - Help!

ins0mn1ac · 11 May 2011 at 19:28

divaboy said:
Hey give me credit I could have easily done a ninja edit ,good to see OP still has a sense of humour all though he say in his OP leave the jokes out of it ...... That's my defence and I'm staying with it , as useless as it is

I intentionally quoted to make sure

Maximum Triceratops said:
Sit down in the pub over a pint and sort out your differences, 20 year friendships shouldnt be thrown away like that.

I agree with this!

fanger · 11 May 2011 at 19:31

divaboy said:
Hey give me credit I could have easily done a ninja edit ,good to see OP still has a sense of humour all though he say in his OP leave the jokes out of it ...... That's my defence and I'm staying with it , as useless as it is

Thanks for all the advice, guys.
It's a hideous situation to find oneself in but a little humour here and there has a calming effect on what otherwise would be too hideous.

I know I've got the police route if it comes to it - and I sincerely hope it needn't do - and I've got the "Well, we were mates for twenty years - give us a bit of time" route too.

Thanks for all responses - be they intensely useful or, almost but not quite as importantly; frivolous and fun.
Cheers.

joeyjojo · 11 May 2011 at 19:33

If you're scared, tell the police.

Also, if he's psychotic he needs to stop visiting Mr Potweed. Perhaps they need to get him some drugs help.

Maximum Triceratops · 11 May 2011 at 19:39

joeyjojo said:
If you're scared, tell the police.

Also, if he's psychotic he needs to stop visiting Mr Potweed. Perhaps they need to get him some drugs help.

Agreed, The weed will be fuelling his psychotic illness, he will never get better unless he stops.

maddness · 11 May 2011 at 19:40

...forget the pub, get on the Jerry Springer Show!

Sycho · 11 May 2011 at 19:42

Depends how bad the threats are towards you, if they are effecting you a lot then do contact police telling them he has mental problems and you are very worried about it.

If they aren't effecting you so much then i suggest meeting him in a public place like a pub/bar/coffee shop or so where you can discuss the outcomes of it, letting him know where he stands and tell him that his threats need to stop.(if this leads to nothing then tell the police obviously)

fanger · 11 May 2011 at 19:43

Maximum Triceratops said:
Agreed, The weed will be fuelling his psychotic illness, he will never get better unless he stops.

That's always been a running theme - trying to get him to see the link between the two - we have tried - believe me we've tried until we're blue in the face.

cm1179 · 11 May 2011 at 19:44

call his bluff, say something about his momma

the shadow · 11 May 2011 at 19:44

Going for a pint consuming alcohol might make him flip

fanger · 11 May 2011 at 19:48

cm1179 said:
call his bluff, say something about his momma

...and with that the OP knew he'd had the cream of the advice he was going to get on the issue that night and that the serious part of the thread was probably over now...

However, he found he had cheered up considerably - which was nice.

GingerNinja1989 · 11 May 2011 at 19:48

the shadow said:
Going for a pint consuming alcohol might make him flip

Pint of squash?

I agree that 20 year friendships should not be broken down like this, will he agree to at least a conversation about the problems?

J-FRO · 11 May 2011 at 19:51

I'd hope that you have some form of proof of these threats. Would help you a lot if it gas to be followed up by the police at all.

fanger · 11 May 2011 at 20:04

GingerNinja1989 said:
Pint of squash?

I agree that 20 year friendships should not be broken down like this, will he agree to at least a conversation about the problems?

Absolutely - I'm going to let a couple of days go by and then make an approach.

J-FRO said:
I'd hope that you have some form of proof of these threats. Would help you a lot if it gas to be followed up by the police at all.

Email and Texts.
Hopefully it won't be needed.

VoG · 11 May 2011 at 20:07

Maximum Triceratops said:
Sit down in the pub over a pint and sort out your differences, 20 year friendships shouldnt be thrown away like that.

go to a cafe instead, if he is borderline psychotic & making threats, i would not be sitting down with him when he's got a nice big pint glass in his hand.

the shadow · 11 May 2011 at 20:10

cafe order some icetea and pancakes

Semple · 11 May 2011 at 20:11

Take him on Jeremy Kyle

LOAM · 11 May 2011 at 20:11

Might be hard but don't admit to any form of debt to him, this includes coming to some arrangement on stage payments, as soon as you do this you are accepting liability for the debt. If you have any inkling to pay it back, rather then pay him in instalments save it up and give him it one go.

Raumarik · 11 May 2011 at 21:03

You took money off a mentally ill guy and now he wants it back. This would make a great movie if it has a gory ending.

*gets pop corn*

On a serious note - Go have a chat with the police.

B@Th*nG · 11 May 2011 at 21:42

I haven't read the responses but two things

1) its not a gift, and the law will see it that way. If you go to the fuzz and he goes to small claims you'll likely lose and it'll cost you a lot more.

2) if you will have the money soon then get a 0% credit card, pay him, never speak again then pay the card off over the next 6/12/18 months

B@

Johnny Girth · 11 May 2011 at 22:15

B@Th*nG said:
I haven't read the responses but two things

1) its not a gift, and the law will see it that way. If you go to the fuzz and he goes to small claims you'll likely lose and it'll cost you a lot more.

Are you sure about that? In what way is it not a gift? If it isn't a gift, then what is it?

Without knowing the facts in full but on the basis of the information we've been provided with it sounds very much like a gift.

You have no legal obligation to repay him and given his behaviour I'd be very tempted not to in your situation.