What is the most disgusting thing you have experienced?

[Lou]

Thank you all for your revolting stories

Been away for a few days so I have thoroughly enjoyed reading several pages of your hideous experiences!

Keep 'em coming!

 

[bloodiedathame]

Picture the scene, I'm on a packed commuter train, it's rush hour and I have a stinking cold and I feel a sneeze coming on. My hands go to my face and whoosh, the contents of my blocked nose gush all over my hands, I play it cool trying to pretend I don't have snot and mucus all over both hands... Now I think to myself, where can I wipe my hands that people won't see the residue, if I do it on my trousers it'll leave a mark, and if I wipe it on the seat they'll think I'm filthy... So I sit there for 40 minutes with this muck all over my hands, and surreptitiously have an occasional wipe on the underside of the seat but slowly so as not to draw attention.

 

[Limenote]

this thread has me in tears, delivers!

 

[Salsa]

For a friends birthday me and 4 mates hired a cabin up in the north of scotland for a long weekend. Drove up with 1 car full of people and the other full of booze. Drinking commenced as soon as we arrived.

When I woke up the next morning with a stinking hangover I went to see what state everyone else was in. One guy was still up drinking and trying to finish a 5000 piece puzzle we found while 2 of my mates were fast asleep. I went to find the 4th guy and upon entering his room there was the worst smell I have ever encountered. Shouted some abuse at him for having such obnoxious farts and turned on the lights.

To my horror there lay my mate butt naked in the middle of his bed covered in poo. There was poo on the floor, the bed, the curtains eek, between his toes, in his hair.... everywhere. It looked like he had exploded, made like a chimpanzee and then fallen asleep.

Without a doubt one of the most horrific scenes I have ever encountered. Said friend quit drinking for 2 years and went to get counselling.

Edit: Recounting the above reminds me of one summer while managing a bar in leith I was called to the ladies toilets by one of my staff. She informed me that she would "NOT be cleaning that up!" and opened the cubical door at the end. There was a lady slumped face first off the loo with arse pointing skyward. She had managed what can only be described as a "grand slam" and was in a very sorry state indeed. Various bodily fluids all over the place. SHe tried to blame it on someone else too!!!

 

[Shayper]

I am so glad nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

Oh wait...

One night near the start of uni, there was a pyjama party at my su. Cue everyone having predrinks at a flat near mine. I left my flat pretty tipsy. Arrived at said friends' flat. Proceeded to drink a litre bottle of vodka as well as smoke a little of the funny stuff. Next thing I know it's the next day and I'm lying facedown on my bed. I go to get up, but my face is stuck to the bed. With my own vomit.

It had rice in.





Lesson learned: never, ever crossfade.

 

[Evoss]

Im not too sure how much of a contender this is, but it will add to the library of reading

Two stories for you;


4 years ago...

Boys being boys on a farm with some powerful quad bikes, empty industrial sand bags, hay and rope makes a very fun sledge that drifts around at speed.

So filled the bags with hay, tied them about 15m away from the quad and off we go. I got on the back of the bag, as the quad corners, I hit a bump and my wrist gets wedged between the ground and me, at the time going 40Km.

Went to A&E with a wrist like a floppy fish and got plastered up. (No blood or gore, but snapping wrists isn't pleasent, if you want blood and gore, continue reading )



About 3 years ago it was raining heavily.

I said to my mum "Im going out on the bike" (As in motocross, I live on a farm...)
She said: "You sure thats the best of ideas?"
I said: "Yeah the rain is dying down now, it will be fine"

So 30mins or so I am go from field to field, making my way to my little FMX/MX course. As I take a corner at 'lets be honest, too much speed', I lose all steering and coming up very quickly is a barbed wire fence.

I hit this barbed wire fence and went over the handle bars and through the fence...

I slit my right arm, wrist and chest to pieces. So will blood coming out like its going out of fashion, wrapped my belt around my arm and got on one of the quad bikes we kept in a close by barn and drove back home, to where my dad says "Its fine, its just a cut" (Not wanting to got A&E )

Went to local GP with emergency clinic and got patched up.

 

[Ewaf]

We had a designated poo/vomit toilet at uni. Now this toilet was bad, not cleaned all year, 6 lads living in a house you can imagine what it was like. I pulled the short straw for cleaning it, and as I was scrubbing with a tough bristle brush under the rim, it flicked up in my face and a lump of something landed in my mouth. Utter rankness.

 

[Cleeecooo]

I watched 2 girls 1 cup

and the hammer vid

 

[D83]

Some random gang member [Please choose your words carefully] with half his head missing on our front lawn.

Ah the joys of growing up in gang territory.

 

[Cosimo]

this thread has me in tears, delivers!

Indeed. I'm looking forward to a spot of lunch now.

 

[Sunbed]

I accidentalied onto my own face :/

lol. I've done this. Glad it's not too uncommon.

 

[Frenzy]

I had some water next to my bed and I woke up half asleep at around 2am really thirsty. I took a big swig and felt something moving around in my mouth... I immediately spat it out because I knew it had to have been a spider... I have a huge fear of spiders
Anyway I was too sleepy so I just went back to sleep then when I woke up I placed the cup in the sink and never once looked at it. I knew I wouldnt be able to contain the shock I knew what it was but I didn't want to acknowledge it

Similar thing happened when I was a child, a spider was in my ribena

Edit one more

I was coming back from a wedding on a coach, unfortunately I sat in a **** soaked seat. There was much of it that it completely soaked my trousers! I always seats before I sit down these days.

 

[Jedeye]

My birth.

 

[mr.bond]

Not myself, but a close friend.....

In a nightclub in the town where we were born, my mate's drunk as a lord and starts to get friendly with a crippled lady in a wheelchair.
She needs the loo so he takes her to the ladies, takes her trousers etc off and lift's her onto the toilet, they then start to get friendly.
His arm ends up covered in her urine, and what he thinks is her arse crack (after much stroking) is actually the large scar from the terrible accident which disabled her....

 

[Shayper]

Not myself, but a close friend.....

In a nightclub in the town where we were born, my mate's drunk as a lord and starts to get friendly with a crippled lady in a wheelchair.
She needs the loo so he takes her to the ladies, takes her trousers etc off and lift's her onto the toilet, they then start to get friendly.
His arm ends up covered in her urine, and what he thinks is her arse crack (after much stroking) is actually the large scar from the terrible accident which disabled her....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AHHHH!!!













lol.

 

[The IPB]

This story came to light during the best man speech of my cousins wedding I attended on Saturday.

The best man (also my cousin) described how the groom once farted in his then g/f's face only to accidentally follow through and actually launch a turd into her face.

They are married now so she can't have been put off lol

 

[rapid64k]

Been a passenger in my bosses car while driving and having to endure him picking his nose and the fluff from his ears....and eating it...then sucking his fingers. I went through five years of seeing that absolute yuk.

 

[Freelanc3r]

None of you have experienced true disgust until you've had to do a hover-poo at the long-drop toilets at Leeds fest. Mind-bogglingly bad.

I HAVE DONE THIS! they were horrific. I held onto the side as tight as I could.


Still haunts me to this day.

 

[ryujinjakka]

A few years ago i was working in a care home for the elderly, now there was this one old guy who had serious constipation and i mean serious, he had about 2 weeks worth backed up.
So anyways one day i had to take this guy to the toilet before breakfast, after 15 minutes of grunting shouting an generally unpleasant noises he had finished i went to to help him get dressed again and survey the damage.
I had never seen anything like this before, the toilet was literally filled to the rim with turd, 2 weeks worth of backed up turd out in one go, the old guy turned to me with a massive grin on his face saying he felt a lot better and was ready for breakfast
The worst part was having to find somthing to scoop it all out and dispose of it and dear god the smell was unholy, only way i could cope with it was getting some vicks vapor rub and covering my nostrils with it lol.

Also in the same home was a guy who regularly liked to decorate his bedroom with his on turds and it would get everywhere, he'd even hide them in his drawers or wardrobe or mixed in with his bedding

Working in that place desensitized me to all kinda of things lol

 

[Mark A]

When I was a kid for some reason or another I dared my mate to eat an earth worm. I watched him eat it and thought he had swallowed it. Then a few mins later he put a handful of raisins in his mouth and chewed them without me seeing. Then opened his mouth and said "this is the remainder of that earthworm". To which I uncontrollably projectile vomited all over the street. It was like that scene from jackass when Stevo walks all the way to his hotel puking .