At 27 she is a consenting adult and can do what she wants.
What would you do if her father said no? Not marry her because of some outdated crap?
Popping the question...
- Thread starter Goodie
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At 27 she is a consenting adult and can do what she wants.
What would you do if her father said no? Not marry her because of some outdated crap?
Soldato
I wouldn't say you should be asking his/her father 100%
Yeah I can agree with that, it really does depend on who you are and the family involved.
I never asked my wifes father, but if he had said no it would have made no difference anyway.
Like some have said, it depends on the person and the family involved.
Soldato
Bloody sourpuss!
It's just polite and respectful. The correct traditional etiquette that's all.
As said, if you don't believe in that 'crap' do you actually beleive in the sanctity of marriage?
No I didn't ask my wifes father.
We'd been together for 6 years and living together for 4.
We were in Las Vegas at the time so I asked her on the Tuesday and we where married by the Thursday. So neither side of the family were present for the wedding.
We'd been together for 6 years and living together for 4.
We were in Las Vegas at the time so I asked her on the Tuesday and we where married by the Thursday. So neither side of the family were present for the wedding.
Man of Honour
Some people just don't like tradition. It's fine. I personally like it, but I'm an old fashioned romantic like that.
Sure, she's an adult, but I guess her father didn't give her away either then... I personally think it's polite and out of respect - but everyone has different values.
Ah well some people are just like that...
Soldato
Yeah, agreed FF. I wouldn't judge or hold it against anyone if they didn't follow tradition, it's totally up to them.
I just think it's a shame, but horse for courses i guess.
I just think it's a shame, but horse for courses i guess.
Soldato
Good luck, buddy!
I didn't realise the 'asking the father thing' was still popular. I thought it was a thing of the past
That's what I was unsure of, hence the thread. Glad i asked though as its definately cleared things up. I guess it was always my intention to ask her father, however it was worth checking beforehand to save myself from nerve wrecking experience that it'll be if it wasn't the 'done thing' any more.
I'll get a placeholder ring so I've got something when I ask the question but I'm still thinking I would prefer to go and choose a ring together, if I am going to spend a reasonable amount on a ring I would feel much better if it was exactly what she wanted. She won't have to wait though, as we could go shopping on the Sunday so long as all goes well.
It's strange though, we've been together for tn years, it's always been the intention that this would happen sooner or later (probably should have been sooner but we never got around to it) yet I'm starting to actually feel nervous as hell!
Soldato
So? It is traditional if optional thing to do!
Exactly, I asked permission and my wife was 37 when I married her. I like tradition and it felt like the proper thing to do.
Soldato
Heh, i was with my mrs for 7 years. We bought a house and lived together for 3 years. Then things went sour last year and we split, sold the house and bought our own 10 miles apart. But 3 months later before the house sales went through we got back together. We agreed to live apart as it seemed best...turns out it was the best thing we did. Things are better than ever and so i proposed. By the time we get married we will have been together 9 years.
Who knew?!
Who knew?!
Soldato
Soldato
I asked my father-in-law.
I'm not the most outgoing or confident of people but that was the first time EVER that I was tongue-tied. I could barely make sense - looking back it was embarrassing but I think it's a definite must.
I'm not the most outgoing or confident of people but that was the first time EVER that I was tongue-tied. I could barely make sense - looking back it was embarrassing but I think it's a definite must.
Caporegime
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Father's do expect this so ask him. He won't kill you.
+1
As a dad of two girl's.
PS. simulatorman fixed youR typo mate 2 days on trot, pick it up man !
Soldato
I didn't ask the farther for fear of her finding out about my surprise, Her parents are completely useless at keeping any kind of secret from her, As I had a trip to Rome and the Ring ready to go etc I didn't risk it, Her farther was fine with it and I get on really well with him.
OP make sure you don't just have a trip down the high street as you will be paying silly money for a ring that isn't worth silly money, The mark up they have on engagement rings is frankly insane at times. If you have any small independent jewellers close by or even a little further out I'd recommend using them.
OP make sure you don't just have a trip down the high street as you will be paying silly money for a ring that isn't worth silly money, The mark up they have on engagement rings is frankly insane at times. If you have any small independent jewellers close by or even a little further out I'd recommend using them.
Soldato
It's sad that something so nice - upon entering the family, making the father of the woman you love feel good, and important and involved in her life choices - can just be reduced to 'outdated crap'. In most cases, the guy you're asking brought this girl up and made her into the person she is, so all it is is respect. But sadly to an awful lot of people, respect is just 'outdated crap' and that's why we are in such a sorry state as a society!
Good on all you lads who would ask. It's not necessary, but it's a nice thing to do.
Good on all you lads who would ask. It's not necessary, but it's a nice thing to do.
Soldato
Soldato
were'nt married.
Soldato
