Win 800 ms points

Pc.robb · 10 Dec 2011 at 15:04

So I have a free gift voucher from game and it's 800 ms points, I don't play xbox anymore (pc gaming ***) So I thought I'd do a little competition so a person could win it.

To have a chance to win it just post a joke, the funniest one will win the code.

*COMPETITION HAS ENDED*

GhostFace has won

.Sean · 10 Dec 2011 at 15:41

My life.

ic1male · 10 Dec 2011 at 15:42

Why don't you save it in case you need something from Games for Windows Live DLC?

Vonhelmet · 10 Dec 2011 at 16:08

I'm trying to get over my phobia of German sausages, but I fear the wurst.

Talbs13 · 10 Dec 2011 at 16:19

Manchester

DailyGeek · 10 Dec 2011 at 16:35

I tried to set the password on my PC for the first time, so I typed in 'Penis'

But the computer said "Password too short."

So I tried another one, I typed in 'Golliwog'.

This time the computer said "Password contains an illegal character."

I gave up.

EDDS · 10 Dec 2011 at 17:19

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing you haven’t told her twice already.

Psymonkee · 10 Dec 2011 at 17:56

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff!

What's blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding it's breath!

Faded · 10 Dec 2011 at 18:16

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." The man with the dog replied''What happened to her?" "She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. Finally, the first man asked "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Get in line."

Ekim · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:01

My favourite two jokes:

Two sausages were frying in a frying pan. One says to the other, "Damn, it's hot in here"
The other said, "Oh my God! A talking sausage!"

News: 'Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.'
He needs a calmer chameleon.

GhostFace · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:02

Looking forward to my missus changing her tampon. When she was asleep, I swapped it for a party popper.

Pestilence · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:09

Mike dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him at the initmidating gates and leads him in.

He shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.

In the first room, people are standing in crap up to their necks. Mike says "no, let me see the next room."

In the second room, people are standing with crap up to their noses. Mike says no again.

Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. Here, people are standing with crap up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. Elated, Mike declares, "I pick this room!"

Satan says okay and starts to leave, while Mike wades in and starts pouring coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K. people, coffee break's over! Everyone back on your heads!"

*trombone*

orderoftheflame · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:10

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the barman for an example of a double entendre. He gives her one.

Gackt · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:10

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents.

cheets64 · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:11

U raff I win

Macky · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:14

‎"Why's santas sack so full? Cos he only cums once a year"

robgmun · 10 Dec 2011 at 19:30

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up ... you're next!"

AndrewD · 10 Dec 2011 at 20:12

GhostFace said:
Looking forward to my missus changing her tampon. When she was asleep, I swapped it for a party popper.

Gold.

K1LLSW1TCH · 10 Dec 2011 at 20:22

Vonhelmet said:
I'm trying to get over my phobia of German sausages, but I fear the wurst.

JoeBoi · 10 Dec 2011 at 21:07

Two women walking home drunk from the pub on a night out decided to take a short cut through the graveyard, half way through one said i really need a wee then she bent down behind a grave and had a pee checking the coast was clear the other woman did the same, the first woman then wiped herself with her knickers the other one not wearing any grabbed some leaves to dry herself with...

The next day both their husbands were chatting in the pub and the first one said i think my wifes having an affair i noticed her knickers were in her handbag this morning the other said thats nothing there was a card sticking out my wifes fanny saying well never forget you from all the lads at the fire station.