'Gay' as a derogatory term, acceptable or not?

This Side Up · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:04

We're all very gay here!

Freefaller · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:04

I get around said:
I do say bummer a fair but in reference to my gay friends but not in a hateful way, even they don't mind.
I think it's acceptable to say anything provided you don't intend to offend anyone.
I don't often call something gay unless it's actually gay "Dude, you're drinking lager? Thats so gay"

Spot on.

Freefaller · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:05

Jay794 said:
It must really suck (lol) to be black AND gay in this thread

You joke, but I have a friend who is black and gay - and he takes the mick out of himself constantly for it... he says "well I'm ****ed aren't I? I'm black, I take it up the bum and am stuck at the rut end of all jokes...."

He's got the right attitude.

Pate · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:06

Nothing wrong with using the word gay in my opinion. It was hijacked by homosexuals by it's original meaning, so they can't complain it's being repurposed to be used as a mild cuss word.

I use the word faggot a fair bit, but I don't use the word to evoke feelings of hate and persecution (though some martyrs like to act like it's the end of the world!), merely as an insulting word. Same sort of level of offensiveness as the word bitch.

Words like the "c" word, are pretty crass, not due to their meaning but general level of taboo surrounding them. Started using it a fair bit at uni due to it's common usage, but need to constantly remind myself that such gratuitous levels of swearing is not normal.

Jay794 · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:06

People have done some horrible things with good intentions, that is not a valid excuse

hurfdurf · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:18

Freefaller said:
Ooooh I can see that chip growing on your shoulder... hope it doesn't hurt too much.

Theres no chip on my shoulder, I'm straight, white and male, I won the genetics lottery when it comes to societal standing. My only concern is that some of the homophobic and racist comments on this forum are going to lead to an organization like

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/

who obliterated that gay bashing BnB couple, having a field day. That and some human decency to the gay and black members of the forum that extends beyond

"Ahhh its only a bit of banter ain't it?!"

It won't be long until its socially unacceptable to bash gays the same way its unacceptable to bash "*******" and "Pakis", (which iirc is not allowed) so if I can bring just a tiny amount of people in line with what is demonstrably doing harm to people I'm happy to effort post slightly, even in GD, and if I get people replying with

"Banter, stop being a wimp, never did me any harm!"

which is the usual reply from people who either can't comprehend or chose to not to lest it break their privileged world view thats fine, I'm used to it.

Nitefly · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:19

I would call Freefaller names.

From my gundam suit.

unknowndomain · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:22

I think its based on context, if you said I would like a faggot for lunch, you probably mean that you are after a meat ball thing.

If you say that makes me feel gay, then you are using it in the context of the old english definition (happy).

If you say that person is gay, then you are using it in the context of the modern english meaning homosexual (normally male).

If you say that what so gay, then you are making a derogatory insult to the thing your referring to and being relatively non-pc.

Overall there are better words people could use that have the impact of a swear without insulting other people around. It is in my opinion the same as the argument about saying 'no homo'.

arc@css · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:24

I'm surprised it gets used on here so much, and in the way it does as well.

elmuzzy66. · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:25

Why do i read freefallers post with a french acent? Thats so gay

Destination · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:25

Nitefly said:
I just find it humorous that I'm very for political correctness when the pros outweigh the cons yet when I say 'lol you look like a gay in that hat' to my future children this might bring cries that I'm an ignorant idiot.

Whats a 'future child'?
How do you communicate with them?

That's just so gay....

Freefaller · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:26

hurfdurf said:
Theres no chip on my shoulder, I'm straight, white and male, I won the genetics lottery when it comes to societal standing. My only concern is that some of the homophobic and racist comments on this forum are going to lead to an organization like

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/

who obliterated that gay bashing BnB couple, having a field day. That and some human decency to the gay and black members of the forum that extends beyond

"Ahhh its only a bit of banter ain't it?!"

It won't be long until its socially unacceptable to bash gays the same way its unacceptable to bash "*******" and "Pakis", (which iirc is not allowed) so if I can bring just a tiny amount of people in line with what is demonstrably doing harm to people I'm happy to effort post slightly, even in GD, and if I get people replying with

"Banter, stop being a wimp, never did me any harm!"

which is the usual reply from people who either can't comprehend or chose to not to lest it break their privileged world view thats fine, I'm used to it.

I think you raise a valid point, but I genuinely think that 99% of the banter on here is just that, banter. I would be disappointed if people actually have any vitriol behind their comments.

Again, it's all down to intent - if you really want to offend someone, it's easily done.

I would never expect or want people to actively use racist terms on here, and will make sure that they don't happen. Even personal attacks with regards to sexuality are not acceptable. Open forum/discussion should be allowed, but aggressive personal posting against a group of individuals, be they homosexual, black, white, muslim, jewish etc... is not acceptable and never should be. Certainly even with context it should be handled delicately.

However, I think the whole point of this thread was highlighting that the word "gay" can be used in many different ways and mean many different things depending on the way it's used. I think most people understand the meaning behind the words and in general would not/should not use it willy nilly. I will admit that with friends I'll say things like "don't be gay/ don't be a jew etc..." However, I would never use it at work or with people that I don't know as I do not want to cause offence. I think most people probably follow that line of thinking.

I do think your intentions for highlighting the concern about how flagrant such posting can be, is honourable, but at the same time I really don't think it's such a big problem??

Pate · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:29

hurfdurf said:
Theres no chip on my shoulder, I'm straight, white and male, I won the genetics lottery when it comes to societal standing. My only concern is that some of the homophobic and racist comments on this forum are going to lead to an organization like

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/

who obliterated that gay bashing BnB couple, having a field day. That and some human decency to the gay and black members of the forum that extends beyond

"Ahhh its only a bit of banter ain't it?!"

It won't be long until its socially unacceptable to bash gays the same way its unacceptable to bash "*******" and "Pakis", (which iirc is not allowed) so if I can bring just a tiny amount of people in line with what is demonstrably doing harm to people I'm happy to effort post slightly, even in GD, and if I get people replying with

"Banter, stop being a wimp, never did me any harm!"

which is the usual reply from people who either can't comprehend or chose to not to lest it break their privileged world view thats fine, I'm used to it.

Get of your high horse.

And if I'm going to be completely honest, I don't view sexual orientation as serious as I do racial problems. We're beyond the gay killing/frying stage, and truth be told, think people should be allowed their own opinions on the matter.

I've got no problem against queers, but I would fully support someone if they did not wish to house them.

Nitefly · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:31

hurfdurf said:
It won't be long until its socially unacceptable to bash gays the same way its unacceptable to bash "*******" and "Pakis", (which iirc is not allowed)

I'm actually going to argue that it isn't as bad, bear with me

There is nothing intrinsically nothing wrong as an individuals being black or form a certain ethnicity. Likewise, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being gay.

However, as a heterosexual man, you naturally don't want to be perceived as gay because you want to attract females. This is what the insult pokes fun at, it has nothing to do with being gay because as above, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being gay - instead it's saying "you do not have the characteristics of an alpha heterosexual man", an insult towards a heterosexual. You can't run the same argument with the N or P word, it's racism pure and simple.

I'm not saying it's perfectly acceptable, but it is more so than those two.

Also, I'm rather fond of the phrase I just coined.

Dave M · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:33

hurfdurf said:
It won't be long until its socially unacceptable

Has anyone stopped to consider why things become 'socially unacceptable' and where it is all going to end?

unknowndomain · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:38

It is unacceptable to marginalise someone for any reason, sexual, racial, or otherwise.

A white gay christian person should be treaded equally to a chinese bi atheist person or a black straight jewish person.

We should not use jew, bible basher, gay, ****** or any other phrases to insult others whether being 'ironic' or otherwise. It is offensive to those who are of that type and if you wish to insult someone there are no descriptive four letter words to use.

Jay794 · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:38

hurfdurf said:
if I can bring just a tiny amount of people in line I'd be a dictator and should be shot

Lighten up it's X-Mas Eve-Eve

MERRY EVERYONE!

unknowndomain said:
We should not use jew

But Jews are called Jews because they're JEW-ish.

Btw, I love Mountain Jew, it's tasty

Lighten up it's X-Mas Eve-Eve

MERRY EVERYONE!

Judgeneo · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:39

fine as long as its not used excessively in my opinion

hurfdurf · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:40

Telescopi said:
Has anyone stopped to consider why things become 'socially unacceptable' and where it is all going to end?

What do you mean?

Tombo · 23 Dec 2011 at 14:43

Even calling someone a faggot in context doesn't even have to mean homosexual, it can mean idiot / ****head and in that context I use it sometimes. Not because they're actually gay.