A word of advice...

[djmc0]

Big fat plus one for the op.

My dad has terminal cancer and doesn't have many days left. I'm making sure the time is well spent.

Awkward question I know, and I'm sorry if too personal. But how do you spend time together, knowing that the inevitable is quantifiable. I mean, I'm sure like everyone else here, I went through a stage during my teens realising that we do not live forever.

I guess I am saying, in a roundabout way, words are words, the living use words like currency, the dying need actions.

Also what I am saying is the effect of a loved one dying upon a living loved one should never be judged. I have the honour of having haved more grandparents than the average person, I guess due to the early age of my mum when she gave birth to me, But this means that I have had to attend funerals of people that are close to me more than the average person. I care too little from once caring too much, happiness is walking the fine line in between.

 

[Sonea Fifer]

I speak to my parents at least a couple times a week and tell them I love them most of those times.

// Off topic (my apologies)

Dude - seriously?

 

[Jonny ///M]

I don't really speak to my parents much as I get home at 10pm+ and they are in bed.

I've always felt closer to my mum as my dad worked shifts when I was younger but I still don't tell any of them I love them.

I've been trying to have more of a chat and a beer with my dad since he lost his dad as I can see it's changed him a little. I hope he knows I love him since I don't say it.

 

[Sonea Fifer]

I don't really speak to my parents much as I get home at 10pm+ and they are in bed.

I've always felt closer to my mum as my dad worked shifts when I was younger but I still don't tell any of them I love them.

I've been trying to have more of a chat and a beer with my dad since he lost his dad as I can see it's changed him a little. I hope he knows I love him since I don't say it.

Say it dude - there nothing gay or homo about it at all!

I also work shifts and can see how it can reflect on family issues - though my OH and I have no kids we always make a point of having a meal round the dining room table (with no tv) at least once a week. Now that may sound like nothing to many posters here, but you'd be amazed how it allows us to actually speak to each other

 

[Jonny ///M]

Say it dude - there nothing gay or homo about it at all!

I also work shifts and can see how it can reflect on family issues - though my OH and I have no kids we always make a point of having a meal round the dining room table (with no tv) at least once a week. Now that may sound like nothing to many posters here, but you'd be amazed how it allows us to actually speak to each other

It's just because I've never did it in my 23 years it would feel awkward. Don't hug my mum either.....I get called a cold person with a don't give a **** attitude to life.

I appreciate going out for a meal with my mum and dad as it's time alone to just talk about life and other stuff.

 

[djmc0]

I don't really speak to my parents much as I get home at 10pm+ and they are in bed.

I've always felt closer to my mum as my dad worked shifts when I was younger but I still don't tell any of them I love them.

I've been trying to have more of a chat and a beer with my dad since he lost his dad as I can see it's changed him a little. I hope he knows I love him since I don't say it.

Very similar to my relationship with my dad. I would feel weird telling him I love, let alone initiating a hug. But, need help at 3 oclock in the morning? Borrow each othe money? that's it. Practicalness, over wishy washy-ness. Not that that not hearing things like that growing up may affect you. I've noticed friends of mine are a lot more open emotionally, but they had a much more physical relationship with their folks.

 

[panthro]

One good thing is that you got to see your dad and tell him these things. My dad died last year and I didnt see him for 3 months prior because I was working abroad. The last conversation I had with him was that he would call me next week and that I'd see him soon, as I was going back to the UK in a few weeks.
Hope your dad is ok, don't worry too much, heart surgery is fairly straight forward these day believe it or not. My 83 year old nan had bypass surgery done last year and you'd never tell.