Can't believe I'm doing this...

[Spenty]

She be trollin' you. Tbh it sounds like she's using it to get control of you rather than it really affecting her. Does she ever mention other men being good looking for example? I bet she does when she's with her female friends at the very least. We always want what we can't have and that's why us blokes watch pron and women watch those lets take my shirt off and say something a director took a few weeks to make up movies.

 

[.Sean]

*Looks at section of forum*

Oh, GD, right...

... best of luck.

Hey, some of the advice hasn't been that bad.

 

[grudas]

We've been talking all morning but it only seems to be getting worse. Her biggest problem is that she hates the thought of me fantasizing about the women in the video I'd be watching while doing the deed... I've tried to explain that it means nothing, there is no attachment, nothing emotional, just stimulation. It's not worked.

She's told me that she feels "back at square one" and heartbroken. :s

Would also like to mention that I'm horrible with words/explaining my feelings. Like I know what I want to say in my head, but can't get it out, which is why I was asking for help in the first place. It's very possible that I've handled this wrong but most of what I've said to her has been similar to what's on here.

if she is going that far i think she simply is looking for a reason to end it :| really over reacting and my gf is the same.. its hard to say what to do now... + i bet she just wants the attention from you.. tbh try and say "ok i have done what i can i have said sorry i have removed it all and i haven't watched or done anything with pron while with you so this is the best i can do if it isn't enough for you then its the problem in you" and it is the problem in her i would just break all the contact and tell her that you will be around if she needs it but for now you're done with explaining your self.. just stop texting etc and carry on as normal.. if she tries speaking with you etc that means she cares and has came to her senses.. if she won't well mate i have to say its not worth it tbh.. i know it will be HARD but better now than later..

 

[Hatter The Mad]

Show her this thread? It's what I'd do

 

[grudas]

Show her this thread? It's what I'd do

it could be good or bad women can make such a big arse bubble out of nothing its unbelievable.. and they have the power to make you look at fault.. i hate this :S

 

[ShortWarning]

This does sound like a bit of an over reaction.

The thing is, I can understand why a girl might not be happy with her boyfriend looking at porn but that's life. We are not in control of our porn watching faculties!

 

[SMN]

Sounds so similar to my ex, OP, its eery. She actually used the term "Well seeing as your doing that you dont need me to have sex with do you?". Women blow this kind of thing way out of context.

The really annoying thing for me, was when I said "Every bloke does it, ask your friends" she said "I have and none of them said they do, thats what their girlfriend is for". Some lads they are!

 

[.Sean]

Show her this thread? It's what I'd do

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

 

[Judgeneo]

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

Don't show her this thread

 

[Elixir]

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

As above, do not show her this thread. Not much you can say/do will change her current self-pitying mood. Does she self pity a lot? Looking through your computer makes it seem like she almost wants to find something to pity herself for.

 

[Pestilence]

Just show her what a cunning linguist you are, 'til she can't take no more!

 

[Andy]

She's crazy. She clearly isn't living in the same world as the rest of us.

You need to be completely honest and direct with her, don't butter it up. Explain ALL men masterbate.

Tell her to get over it or you are off. Issues like this need to be stamped out or they will rear their heads again in other ways. Next you know she won't be letting you out alone.

 

[LiE]

Go watch some porn while she cools off.

 

[shoes]

Go watch some porn while she cools off.

We have a winner

 

[robgmun]

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

GET OUT NOW!

That's not a joke post, it's my 100% honest advice to you. Take it from someone who's experienced people like this, it doesn't get any better. Cut your losses and find someone who's not such a flake

Remember....it doesn't get any better

Girls like these don't improve over time, they actually get worse until you finally leave and you'll loose years of your life that you could've used being happy with someone else

 

[Archy]

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

Definitely do not do this. Highly doubtful that telling her you posted about your relationship problems on an internet forum will solve anything.

 

[.Sean]

Definitely do not do this. Highly doubtful that telling her you posted about your relationship problems on an internet forum will solve anything.

Yeah, it just entered my mind very briefly! To be honest though, she knows I visit this website, wouldn't surprise me if she checked my account now and then after this whole PC debacle.

I've now had to explain to her that men and women can find other people attractive even if they're already in a relationship, but it doesn't change anything. I don't think she quite grasps that yet either, could be opening up a whole new can of worms here...

And for those of you curious about our age, I'm 19 and she is 21. It feels strange being younger and having to explain this type of thing.

 

[Dinomania]

Why on earth was she rummaging around your PC when you were out? Does she have issues with trust? She clearly has issues with porn. If you can't sort out both of these issues then you should move on because there are many, many woman who have no issues with either.

This.

now women are very strange creatures trust me.. my gf for e.g. wanted to dump me because i played with my phone(haha) for 2hrs when she was at my place and she felt ignored.. talk about over reacting?

Perfectly reasonable reaction if you ask me!

Would also like to mention that I'm horrible with words/explaining my feelings. Like I know what I want to say in my head, but can't get it out, which is why I was asking for help in the first place. It's very possible that I've handled this wrong but most of what I've said to her has been similar to what's on here.

She needs to talk to her female friends in relationships about this, I think. Has she?

Have considered that, not sure if I could bring myself to do it though. She's in self destruct mode right now, or pity me mode, I don't know. "All I do is mess things up, I'll never get over my insecurities, you think I don't trust you, everything is ruined" etc. This is getting a bit much...

Oh dear. Silly silly girl, she's fishing for you to comfort her.

Trying to give you things to tell her, but it won't help if they're not in your words, really...

Tell her you love her (only if you do, of course), and that you're sorry she's upset. That you're not going anywhere. BUT that she mustn't pry like that, it just isn't fair. She should ask her girlfriends (assuming at least one of them isn't deluded) about other halves and porn.

UNLESS You are finding it a bit much, in which case re-evaluate your relationship.

I'm a woman who in the past has possibly been upset by a little porn - but since one of my ex's used to talk in the most disgustingly funny way about boys/men and masturbation (the term "like a spider monkey" was occasionally used), I'm just amused by the whole thing. Willies are funny things, feel free to play with them for fun!

 

[steve-h]

Time to grab your ****, beat your chest and tell her to deal with it. I can't believe this is the first time it's come up in a 2 year relationship, did you tell her you didn't fap previously or something?

Perhaps this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relation...y-when-their-husband-or-partner-is-upset.html

 

[rpg]

Unfortunately, this situation seems to have caused her pretty serious insecurities to rise to the surface. I experienced a girl like this, she looked through my stuff, phone etc. It didn't work out.

I'd stop thinking about the porn and start looking at the bigger picture here.

And this.

She needs to talk to her female friends in relationships about this, I think. Has she?