Personality clash with college tutor - Advice needed

[ticklemebougy]

I thought one of the main points of a college was to offer education to people later in life and other circumstances. As mentioned I'm guessing your other tutors have no problem with the way you hand in work, so maybe have a word with them to explain things again to your new tutor.

I had an issue last year with a new tutor as well. Basically she didn't come from a college background and didn't realise how different it was from traditional school. She soon got used to it and everything turned out OK after some input from us. That might be something to bare in mind, although it doesn't look like that's the case.

 

[drunkenmaster]

I wonder how some people in here get on in life with any level of happiness, every time something bad happens, simply except it, every time a boss, or teacher, or anyone treats you like ****, accept it?

Deadlines are normally closer to guidelines than finite, there are some very strict ones, final ones usually are close but you'll usually find even the final assignment in a year actually can be extended but usually for more serious reasons than non final assignments. This is because there has to be a stop point for the year basically, other ones, what reason is there for a tutor to not want you to do your best. Everyone has bad weeks in life, should everyone fail a course because their bad week coincides with a deadline while someone elses bad week in the year is in summer.

Get a grip, anyway good you got it finished op. I've by and large had understanding tutors this year, and being the OU they are generally a bit more understanding by default compared to a standard uni.

A tutor with a "standard" student will usually allow an extension then maybe ask a few more questions and see if they can help find a solution if a second extension is require, and maybe get a lot more formal for another extension. if the tutor knows of any issues before hand and maybe expects an extension, well, a tutor knowing of any issues early is generally better as they'll know you're not pulling a fast one at the last second.

Ultimately tutors want to allow everyone some leeway, while also helping students get better at hitting deadlines, so if you're missing a lot they should talk with you about how to better hit targets, not screw you for missing them.

Either way, some teachers/tutors/professors are just bad, some are brilliant, some are mean because they can be, some are mean because you need it, there is no one right way to teach. A tutor who will give a student who is known to have started basically 2 months after everyone else, shorter deadlines and more grief is just being a pratt.

 

[Vidar]

Just an update for those of you that are interested...

Things in college have become very interesting indeed, I took some advice from an old acquaintance who recently left employment for the examining body ED EXCEL in regards to handle the situation with the college and as a result things are beginning to change after a face to face meeting with principal of the college plus various other individuals. Basically I achieved several changes in college policy including the policy on deadlines they now have to be agreed by both tutors and students and signed etc etc with extensions given for clearly defined reasons

On another note when I informed them of how the problem tutor has no control over the class and lessons often descend into anarchy it was as if I'd just killed a kitten! They are taking that very seriously it seems....

I got a really nice thank you letter off them too saying they are very grateful for my coming to them etc etc.... sarcastic *******!!!

 

[Sefirosu]

I think she is interested in you ?

her overt irritability towards you is a sure sign that she wants you to bake her noodle ?

Aye, I would tap this with full force.

 

[gary996]

Find out what car she drives and slash all the tyres and key it. Once she has got it fixed go do it again. Also find out where she lives and and dump on her door step

 

[prashantnew]

When I was at Uni, (erm...a year ago!) to get an extension, you'd have to submit a written request for extenuating circumstances and then it would go before a panel and then they would decide.

At work now in the real life, there are no extenuating circumstances. If you don't adhere to a deadline, its at your own peril.

From my experience, and this is not a personal attack, but I found maturer students to be me a bit more disruptive, in that, they would always be the ones to stand up and argue when we were all getting a dressing down. I guess maybe its to do with us being younger and being taught that we gotta take that from elders etc... Whereas maturer students may see tutors etc as equals instead of what they are - the teacher!

 

[Deleted member 77746]

however recently there have been some tutor changes and one in particular, a far less capable tutor than the one she replaced, has taken a major dislike to me...

That's life. Man up. This won't be the only time in life someone takes a dislike to you. Just get your work done, hand it in early and be quiet.

 

[Jono]

When I was at Uni, (erm...a year ago!) to get an extension, you'd have to submit a written request for extenuating circumstances and then it would go before a panel and then they would decide.

At work now in the real life, there are no extenuating circumstances. If you don't adhere to a deadline, its at your own peril.

From my experience, and this is not a personal attack, but I found maturer students to be me a bit more disruptive, in that, they would always be the ones to stand up and argue when we were all getting a dressing down. I guess maybe its to do with us being younger and being taught that we gotta take that from elders etc... Whereas maturer students may see tutors etc as equals instead of what they are - the teacher!

I'm at work and have been for the past 9 years (properly, since graduation) - not counting part-time/placement stuff) - and there are countless extenuating circumstances. An unlimited number of idiots that work for the same company (and suppliers) that mean a deadline cannot be met.

Fair enough if you don't meet it as a result of your own ineptitude, but to say that there are no extenuating circumstances... is, to be frank, bullcrap.

 

[Vidar]

From my experience, and this is not a personal attack, but I found maturer students to be me a bit more disruptive, in that, they would always be the ones to stand up and argue when we were all getting a dressing down. I guess maybe its to do with us being younger and being taught that we gotta take that from elders etc... Whereas maturer students may see tutors etc as equals instead of what they are - the teacher!

I appreciate your point of view but that isn't the case here, getting a telling off for bad classroom etiquette etc is one thing and if I am ever guilty of anything that warrants a telling off I apologise and move on, the difference between myself and the teenagers I study with is I know when I'm being patronised, having my opinion belittled or dismissed or just being covertly insulted; I also have some idea of what professionalism should entail and can identify when someone is overstepping the mark and again unlike the teenagers I study alongside I wont stand for it, especially if done publicly...

I'm very proud that I have forced the college to sit up and take notice of some of the mistakes they have made and that policy has changed as a result, but for as long as there are issues that hinder my progress in bettering myself I will do what I can to see them get changed. You have to realise that I am studying again because I want a better life for my family and to better myself, I am not there to make friends or to sit idly by and watch some prat negativity effect my education

 

[Tefal]

That's life. Man up. This won't be the only time in life someone takes a dislike to you. Just get your work done, hand it in early and be quiet.

or he could do exactly what he did do and instead of acting like a little bitch like you suggested he manned up and tackled the problem, which has now been resolved and he doesn't have to deal with the **** any more.

What he did was man up, what you proposed was wussing out.

 

[Deleted member 77746]

or he could do exactly what he did do and instead of acting like a little bitch like you suggested he manned up and tackled the problem, which has now been resolved and he doesn't have to deal with the **** any more.

What he did was man up, what you proposed was wussing out.

Either or.. that's what I like to hear.

 

[UK-AL05]

Sometimes you just have to suck it up. Nearly every student has to go through this with dodgy tutors, and since there not adults; they almost never stand up for themselves. You are adult, thus conflict rather than shut up.

My university would NOT extend deadlines, no matter the excuse. Seriously, they made it very difficult, you had to write several letters and provide evidence, then a panel has to come together to decide. A lot of hassle. You could walk into university crippled, with several casts and they would not believe you =P

 

[Haggisman]

From my experience, and this is not a personal attack, but I found maturer students to be me a bit more disruptive, in that, they would always be the ones to stand up and argue when we were all getting a dressing down. I guess maybe its to do with us being younger and being taught that we gotta take that from elders etc... Whereas maturer students may see tutors etc as equals instead of what they are - the teacher!

I would also guess that the maturer students were a lot less to blame for the "dressing down" in the first place?

I'm also not sure what you mean by the last sentence - a teacher/student relationship doesn't need to be one of superior/inferior (and in fact shouldn't be!). It's far more productive if they do see each other as equals.

Look at the parent/adult/child section here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

The basis being that if you act in a "parent" state towards someone, you evoke a "child" response in them, whereas if you act in an "adult" state towards them, they will react as an "adult".

"People often create pressure in (or experience pressure from) others to communicate in a way that matches their style, so that a boss who talks to his staff as a controlling parent will often engender self-abasement or other childlike responses. Those employees who resist may get removed or labeled as "trouble"."

 

[Tefal]

When I was at Uni, (erm...a year ago!) to get an extension, you'd have to submit a written request for extenuating circumstances and then it would go before a panel and then they would decide.

At work now in the real life, there are no extenuating circumstances. If you don't adhere to a deadline, its at your own peril.

From my experience, and this is not a personal attack, but I found maturer students to be me a bit more disruptive, in that, they would always be the ones to stand up and argue when we were all getting a dressing down. I guess maybe its to do with us being younger and being taught that we gotta take that from elders etc... Whereas maturer students may see tutors etc as equals instead of what they are - the teacher!

because children usually approach education as something they have to do, adults approach it as something they are paying to do.

So the adults are much less happy to accept poor service.

 

[swillsy]

At uni deadlines are there and enforced so best practice keeping to them.

Also when you start working you'll see that deadlines are important to keeping in employment. Everyone has issues I'm afraid so just have to be fair to everyone, and coming to loggerheads with authorty figures isn't the best way to go

 

[Tefal]

At uni deadlines are there and enforced so best practice keeping to them.

Also when you start working you'll see that deadlines are important to keeping in employment. Everyone has issues I'm afraid so just have to be fair to everyone, and coming to loggerheads with authorty figures isn't the best way to go

worked in this case though didn't it?

 

[Jest3r]

Many tutors/lectures don't know how to deal with "adults", they're too used to throwing their weight around with kids, had issues at both College and Uni as I was a mature student.

HEADRAT

Swansea Met is a good example. One of the tutors was just out of her higher degree.
Didnt handle questions well turned into a bit of a 'don't question my authority' even though she had no idea what she actually was teaching

 

[Vidar]

Honestly I value everybody's point of views and am very grateful for peoples constructive criticisms or support but Swillsy I know why deadlines are put in place and appreciate the importance of sticking to them, but I don't agree with unreasonable deadlines being set after verbal arrangements have been made to the contrary simply because a tutor has taken a dislike to me and wants to put me in what she sees as being my place!

 

[James J]

Deadlines are deadlines for a reason. Further education has them in order to get you to prioritise your workload and work under pressure. If you can't cope with them, then it's yourself to blame and not the tutors.

Sadly this is correct and very important especially when you go to university. If you miss a deadline you will be awarded 0% for that piece of work unless your excuse is cast iron. You are fully expected to make other considerations when it comes to children for as much of your university life as you possibly can. Depends what degree obviously as some courses don't even have compulsory lectures, yet there are numerous parents on my course with young children who cope just fine, including even single parents.

When work needs to be checked by external checkers, deadlines are ultra important as they cannot make exceptions for the minority often. I've seen this first hand at university.

In the OP's case, if you transferred to the course knowing you was gonna be 8 weeks behind, its your responsibility to make the time to get the work done to meet the deadlines set. That isn't your tutors fault, its yours.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

In the OP's case, if you transferred to the course knowing you was gonna be 8 weeks behind, its your responsibility to make the time to get the work done to meet the deadlines set. That isn't your tutors fault, its yours.

If I read it right this was all agreed with the first tutor so he had a deadline but the second tutor decided to alter it.
I wouldn't be very happy either.