The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
I know what you mean. I dodged a bullet a couple of years ago. Would have ended me.
As others have said, try to limit the amount of time you spend on your own. Talking won't take away the pain, but it will help.
I know it might sound strange, but I found not listening to music as much was sometimes for the better (due to various tunes reminding us of past times, etc.)
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 21 Nov 2004
- Posts
- 45,037
Indeed, I put the music channel on this afternoon - that was a big mistake.
Soldato
Mehhh.... and so it crumbles a little more... The feeling of futility when you're too far away to fix something, and at the same time too scared to throw it all away.... sucks.
That last point you make is so true. Music is one thing that you apply so many memories to. Just listening to the radio can be dangerous as that one particular track may come on, and even songs that have meant absolutely nothing to you before, you can suddenly relate too.
Not strictly a relationship but I could do with some advice, where better to get it than from the fine fellas of GD 
I went out with my ex for 4 years, she had her downfalls but other than that, perfect for me, everyone was mega surprised when we broke up.
She left me because she didn't know what she wanted - if she wanted me or not, thought we got together too young. She said I was her best friend and never wanted to lose that closeness so asked if we could stay best friends...I left and never got back in touch, blocked her on Facebook, the lot. It just wasn't going to work, I did everything for her. She waited until after I took her away and spoiled her rotten for her 21st! So, no way!
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of days ago, we're back in touch via text, something unrelated but she eventually text me yesterday and said 'i think about you a lot, i miss you being part of my life'
What do I do now?
She might just mean friends, she might mean more...I don't know and I'm worried I don't want to know, it'll hurt too much if she says she doesn't actually want me, just wants friendship. Everyone in my life would tell me I'm being an idiot, to leave well alone but if she asked...I'd contemplate giving it another go - just the way my thinking is just now. No idea what to do - HALP!
Cheers guys!
I went out with my ex for 4 years, she had her downfalls but other than that, perfect for me, everyone was mega surprised when we broke up.
She left me because she didn't know what she wanted - if she wanted me or not, thought we got together too young. She said I was her best friend and never wanted to lose that closeness so asked if we could stay best friends...I left and never got back in touch, blocked her on Facebook, the lot. It just wasn't going to work, I did everything for her. She waited until after I took her away and spoiled her rotten for her 21st! So, no way!
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of days ago, we're back in touch via text, something unrelated but she eventually text me yesterday and said 'i think about you a lot, i miss you being part of my life'
What do I do now?
She might just mean friends, she might mean more...I don't know and I'm worried I don't want to know, it'll hurt too much if she says she doesn't actually want me, just wants friendship. Everyone in my life would tell me I'm being an idiot, to leave well alone but if she asked...I'd contemplate giving it another go - just the way my thinking is just now. No idea what to do - HALP!Cheers guys!
Phone, down the toilet, new number, problem solved...
She probably means she's been off meeting new guys, done the whole silly relationship fuss stuff, realised the simple/good natured relationship she used to have was better and wants that back.
Go back to her if, a. you aren't over her, b. fancy a relationship that will always be tainted by the "you broke up with me" feeling or c. just want to be friends.
From what you have told us though, doesn't sound like the perfect catch for you. The perfect catch for you doesn't dump you like that.
She probably means she's been off meeting new guys, done the whole silly relationship fuss stuff, realised the simple/good natured relationship she used to have was better and wants that back.
Go back to her if, a. you aren't over her, b. fancy a relationship that will always be tainted by the "you broke up with me" feeling or c. just want to be friends.
From what you have told us though, doesn't sound like the perfect catch for you. The perfect catch for you doesn't dump you like that.
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Apr 2011
- Posts
- 5,455
Some people on this website are so like minded its unreal. Not only that, but they manage to express it MUCH better than I ever can.
Agree 100% with this. Once again, its what I tell people who ask me about relationship stuff, but they never take my advice
Not strictly a relationship but I could do with some advice, where better to get it than from the fine fellas of GD
I went out with my ex for 4 years, she had her downfalls but other than that, perfect for me, everyone was mega surprised when we broke up.
She left me because she didn't know what she wanted - if she wanted me or not, thought we got together too young. She said I was her best friend and never wanted to lose that closeness so asked if we could stay best friends...I left and never got back in touch, blocked her on Facebook, the lot. It just wasn't going to work, I did everything for her. She waited until after I took her away and spoiled her rotten for her 21st! So, no way!
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of days ago, we're back in touch via text, something unrelated but she eventually text me yesterday and said 'i think about you a lot, i miss you being part of my life'
What do I do now?
Cheers guys!
First off, find out what her intentions are, as you say she may just mean friends.
Secondly I believe everyone and thing deserves a second chance.
Thirdly and most importantly you need to work out why you want it. If you were in a relationship right now (not sure if you are) would you even be contemplating it? Missing someone isn't necessarily a good reason to give it another go, everyone wants to feel that comfortableness with someone and with ex's it's easy, as it's pretty much already there.
Basically, just don't go for it because you need someone to fill the void and it's an easier option than finding someone new and taking the time to get to know them.
Not strictly a relationship but I could do with some advice, where better to get it than from the fine fellas of GD
I went out with my ex for 4 years, she had her downfalls but other than that, perfect for me, everyone was mega surprised when we broke up.
She left me because she didn't know what she wanted - if she wanted me or not, thought we got together too young. She said I was her best friend and never wanted to lose that closeness so asked if we could stay best friends...I left and never got back in touch, blocked her on Facebook, the lot. It just wasn't going to work, I did everything for her. She waited until after I took her away and spoiled her rotten for her 21st! So, no way!
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of days ago, we're back in touch via text, something unrelated but she eventually text me yesterday and said 'i think about you a lot, i miss you being part of my life'
What do I do now?
Cheers guys!
How long ago did you split up?
Do not go back, even though you might think it'll be good, you'll constantly be wondering when she'll do it again, and she knows she can get away with it too. People are like dogs, scald them when required to keep them in line, but if you let them get away with things, they'll never stop.
Soldato
- Joined
- 30 Sep 2005
- Posts
- 16,550
I need a hug from the OCUK community please
My mistress and I are about to part ways No more kinky sex 
My mistress and I are about to part ways
No more kinky sex 
Soldato
This isn't really a relationship thing but I'm still in need of advice!
I'm 22 and I haven't really had much experience with the opposite sex so when an opportunity presents itself I make a huge deal out of little things because I really want to be in a relationship...
I'm not interested in most girls my age and frankly I find a lot of them annoying or childish. The girls I am interested in are usually between 25 and 28 (not girls!).
I recently started a new job and there is a girl on the bus who I have become utterly obsessed about in a short space of time. I got talking to her for the first time today, prior to this became this massive ordeal because it's taken so long to get her alone and without any friends around. Anyway it turns out she has a boyfriend... but I still can't stop thinking about her like literally all the time and I figured after I talked to her my mind would be able to rest!
I will see her again tomorrow morning and will probably strike up conversation again but I need some advice on how not to become obsessed with people like this! Is it because these opportunities don't present themselves to me very often that I make a massive deal about things? I'm pretty lonely at the moment to be really honest (saying this on an internet forum is awesome) so any kind of interaction like this means a huge deal to me.
I'm 22 and I haven't really had much experience with the opposite sex so when an opportunity presents itself I make a huge deal out of little things because I really want to be in a relationship...
I'm not interested in most girls my age and frankly I find a lot of them annoying or childish. The girls I am interested in are usually between 25 and 28 (not girls!).
I recently started a new job and there is a girl on the bus who I have become utterly obsessed about in a short space of time. I got talking to her for the first time today, prior to this became this massive ordeal because it's taken so long to get her alone and without any friends around. Anyway it turns out she has a boyfriend... but I still can't stop thinking about her like literally all the time and I figured after I talked to her my mind would be able to rest!
I will see her again tomorrow morning and will probably strike up conversation again but I need some advice on how not to become obsessed with people like this! Is it because these opportunities don't present themselves to me very often that I make a massive deal about things? I'm pretty lonely at the moment to be really honest (saying this on an internet forum is awesome) so any kind of interaction like this means a huge deal to me.
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Soldato
She has a boyfriend. Leave it be...
Chalk this down to the first experiance. There will be many more, but look for the ones without boyfriends!
Chalk this down to the first experiance. There will be many more, but look for the ones without boyfriends!
Soldato
Not strictly a relationship but I could do with some advice, where better to get it than from the fine fellas of GD
I went out with my ex for 4 years, she had her downfalls but other than that, perfect for me, everyone was mega surprised when we broke up.
She left me because she didn't know what she wanted - if she wanted me or not, thought we got together too young. She said I was her best friend and never wanted to lose that closeness so asked if we could stay best friends...I left and never got back in touch, blocked her on Facebook, the lot. It just wasn't going to work, I did everything for her. She waited until after I took her away and spoiled her rotten for her 21st! So, no way!
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of days ago, we're back in touch via text, something unrelated but she eventually text me yesterday and said 'i think about you a lot, i miss you being part of my life'
What do I do now?
Cheers guys!
If she texted you a few days ago ignore it. There was this huge thing going on, on twitter and Facebook. #TextYourEx and many people was saying **** to their ex's like I miss you and stuff.
Soldato
I already gathered that part haha. I was planning on asking her out if she was single but as soon as she mentioned the boyfriend any hopes were dashed haha!
I'm more after advice as to why I can't get her off my mind, and more so how to get her off my mind.
Man of Honour
If only that were so easy!
Caporegime
Find something or someone else to take your mind off her, in time you will forget about her. The age old saying that time is a healer and it is but you may not see it that way at the moment but trust me its true as ive been in your position in the past many a time.