The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Kamwah · 1 Nov 2012 at 18:57

RoachycaL said:
I already gathered that part haha. I was planning on asking her out if she was single but as soon as she mentioned the boyfriend any hopes were dashed haha!

I'm more after advice as to why I can't get her off my mind, and more so how to get her off my mind.

Sorry but you sound incredibly stalker'ish.

Just live your life and forget about it.

BennyC · 1 Nov 2012 at 18:59

tidusjar said:
If she texted you a few days ago ignore it. There was this huge thing going on, on twitter and Facebook. #TextYourEx and many people was saying **** to their ex's like I miss you and stuff.

This man speaketh the truth.

CaptainRAVE · 1 Nov 2012 at 19:19

Kamwah said:
Sorry but you sound incredibly stalker'ish.

Just live your life and forget about it.

Easier said than done though. All you can really do is find someone else who doesn't have a bf. When I was younger I always wanted the girls I couldn't have.

shifty_uk · 1 Nov 2012 at 19:29

tidusjar said:
If she texted you a few days ago ignore it. There was this huge thing going on, on twitter and Facebook. #TextYourEx and many people was saying **** to their ex's like I miss you and stuff.

100% definitely wasn't that. She's a nice girl, not the type to go out and mess around. She just didn't know what she wanted, I don't feel any badness towards her. We've been apart for 4-5 months now... I think about her everyday and despite having never been upset or even cried over the break-up, deep down I'm probably not over her, she was perfect for me. I just text her back saying we wanted different things and that it's basically just the way it is.

Kamwah · 1 Nov 2012 at 19:31

CaptainRAVE said:
Easier said than done though. All you can really do is find someone else who doesn't have a bf. When I was younger I always wanted the girls I couldn't have.

I get what you mean but usually it's wanting girls that are in your social circle or a bit further out. Not some randomer on the bus.

[FnG]magnolia · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:05

I periodically link this very useful thread from another forum for those who have been dumped or about to dump someone else. It is filled with stories and advice and is worth reading.

RoachycaL · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:09

CaptainRAVE said:
Easier said than done though. All you can really do is find someone else who doesn't have a bf. When I was younger I always wanted the girls I couldn't have.

Thanks mate. That seems to be my trouble! I think you are right though.

Kamwah said:
I get what you mean but usually it's wanting girls that are in your social circle or a bit further out. Not some randomer on the bus.

She's not a randomer. That would be weirder. She works at the same place I do and all the people who work at that building who get that bus together talk to each other in the mornings.

She just usually walks into work with a friend (who was off today) so I took my chance when I had it and it hasn't worked out! Thing is I'll be seeing her every day so it's just gonna be hard to forget about her when she's there in my face all the time. It's deciding whether I will be happy in the friend zone or just moving on completely.

kieranv · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:16

shifty_uk said:
100% definitely wasn't that. She's a nice girl, not the type to go out and mess around. She just didn't know what she wanted, I don't feel any badness towards her. We've been apart for 4-5 months now... I think about her everyday and despite having never been upset or even cried over the break-up, deep down I'm probably not over her, she was perfect for me. I just text her back saying we wanted different things and that it's basically just the way it is.

Sounds like a similar situation to me with mine. We split up in February, had a month or so of no contact, but have spoken pretty much constantly since. I delete her number every so often in a bid to have some time out. But every single time she texts me soon after.

We are clear with eachother that we're not getting back together in the near future, but she was telling me the other week that every time she goes out with a guy to the cinema or whatever she feels like she's cheating on me. total mind ****.

Monkey00 · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:16

Move on while remaining in the friend zone, that way you'll be first to hear any developments in her relationship, you can then pounce. And then move on shortly after.

Kamwah · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:19

RoachycaL said:
Thanks mate. That seems to be my trouble! I think you are right though.

She's not a randomer. That would be weirder. She works at the same place I do and all the people who work at that building who get that bus together talk to each other in the mornings.

She just usually walks into work with a friend (who was off today) so I took my chance when I had it and it hasn't worked out! Thing is I'll be seeing her every day so it's just gonna be hard to forget about her when she's there in my face all the time. It's deciding whether I will be happy in the friend zone or just moving on completely.

Still makes you sound obsessed and she's still mostly a randomer.

How do you have such a infatuation for someone you don't even know? ¬.¬

The__Malteser · 1 Nov 2012 at 20:36

RoachycaL said:
I already gathered that part haha. I was planning on asking her out if she was single but as soon as she mentioned the boyfriend any hopes were dashed haha!

I'm more after advice as to why I can't get her off my mind, and more so how to get her off my mind.

Find someone else

Take it as a learning experience.

PixieLandGirl · 2 Nov 2012 at 13:39

*hugs to those that need them*

A couple of days ago I ended a 5yr relationship. I'm feeling less like an emotional wreck in someways today but I still feel very anxious all the time and as a result I'm still struggling to sleep and feeling quite sick.

Reppyboyo · 2 Nov 2012 at 15:23

I also went through the sleepless & sick stage after ended my own 5 1/2 year relationship a few months back.

Cant really reccomend much except try not to be alone and make sure you eat something.
I lost A LOT of a weight over that period.

It will get better with time, as always.

Holliday · 2 Nov 2012 at 15:46

Anyone else get scumbag brain? Best way to describe it...

For some reason dreams have the ability to create such a powerful emotional reaction it's enough to put you back in a craptastic mood even if you felt all good before you slept.

CaptainRAVE · 2 Nov 2012 at 15:54

Keep getting the urge to install Skype just to see the ex online

So sad that she has cut contact like this. Very harsh to make new friends and then just be like, well, it is over, get on with it kind of thing. Never thought she would do this.

On the plus side, went shopping today and bought a new winter jacket

Reppyboyo · 2 Nov 2012 at 15:58

Cutting contact is often for the best though.

Attempted the 'stay friends' thing with my ex for a while but just couldn't do it.
Even seeing her online was enough to set things off.
Too much pent up emotions still so recently cut contact altogether.

TrixiBuG · 2 Nov 2012 at 15:58

For all who really need a hug

*massive e-hug*

Just feel like spreading some hugs today...in a very hug-able mood today...

*another e-hug*

CaptainRAVE · 2 Nov 2012 at 17:23

Man I miss speaking with her

kash786 · 2 Nov 2012 at 17:33

CaptainRAVE said:
Man I miss speaking with her

I know how you feel.

It's going on 3 weeks since I last spoke to her; a 4 year relationship essentially came to a messy end in no time at all, sucks, big time.

Must keep positive though, put thing's in perspective, thing's could be a lot worse.

CaptainRAVE · 2 Nov 2012 at 17:36

kash786 said:
I know how you feel.

It's going on 3 weeks since I last spoke to her; a 4 year relationship essentially came to a messy end in no time at all, sucks, big time.

Must keep positive though, put thing's in perspective, thing's could be a lot worse.

Things could definitely be worse

Still getting lots of ups and downs, but it is getting a little easier. Keep finding things that bring the memories flooding back though.