The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

[Fuzz]

I will, I want to see how the drugs affect her, if it's more zombified no caring no sharing action then I'm unlikely to be able to deal with it long term so that'll be that. Will be a ****ing shame but as you say, got to look after Numero Uno first.
If she returns to some sort of normality then I should be OK with that.

and she's hardly had time to make a cup of tea lately, let alone time to sit down and conjure up something for me. She has to have the crappest luck I've ever seen anyone get lumbered with. Admittedly half of it is dire organisation skills and lack of communication but jees, she never gets a break. I'm not really surprised she's been unable to cope. I don't think I would have if I was in her shoes.

 

[sigma]

Oh well, her Mental health appointment on Thursday, we'll see what they drug her up with and go from there I guess.
I did get to spend the night with her last night though, which helped me feel loads better as that's the closest I've managed to get to her in about three weeks.
Fingers crossed the stress of Christmas is now over and we can move forward, just the matter of finding money for rent in a couple of weeks. Stress item No2 million!!

Sorry dude, but this is only going to end up going one way IMO. Not a good way Mental illness is a complete ****.

 

[knip]

RUN AWAY FUZZ! I've said it enough times now. You can't fix her, and you can't save her from herself either.

(Plus damn you for not sending me the presents )

 

[The__Malteser]

Am I the only one who thinks that Fuzz is making excuses to try and make her not at fault?

Seriously man, she is crazy. I know she has some sort of mental illness, but she can at least try to control it a bit.

It looks like it is putting a serious stress on not only your relationship, but also on your life.

Seriously, run away. It will hurt at first, obviously, but the faster you leave her, the faster you feel better.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

You can't fix crazy. I could link the link I always do and you wouldn't read it so that'd be pointless but you cannot fix crazy.

 

[mattyprice4004]

Run away dude.

 

[Fuzz]

It doesn't get any better either, I got the distinct impression her child being rushed off to hospital Christmas Eve was a pack of lies, but again I've got no solid proof. What I think she did was go off drinking with her mates.
I am worried I am the one making a mountain out of a molehill over all this. What I'd like to get is some solid proof she is now starting to lie about where she is.
What I don't want to do is start stalking her as this makes me more crazy than her!
Her last BF used to drive past her house checking up on her all the time and check up on her, then send her freaky texts about it. I don't want to start looking that sad about it.
I am slightly wound up again today about it as I got another "I'll let you know" text at 8pm last night when I asked if I could see her again that evening.
The main reason I did that was because things were looking good on Christmas morning, kids were happy, she looked happy, everything went well, I got some smiles and kisses and an actual "sorry" from her about not getting me anything. That coupled with the fact Christmas stress was effectively over I thought maybe she was lightening up about everything....
But no, still no reply from her today so far.
I've asked and asked about her trying a bit harder to keep me informed a bit more as without the feeling of love there (due to her mentalness according to her) it was all I had left to hang on to (the feeling that she was at least thinking about me)
Well clearly she isn't!
Yes I hear the "get out, get out" in my own head every ****ing day too and I am working towards that. I just want to understand the changes the drugs make and get proof that she has been lying you know. So I can justify it to myself as I'm seriously analytical about everything. I need to almost double check myself and what I'm doing/thinking to make sure I'm not the one that's bat***.

 

[secretspy]

I think in some cases you never will get solid proof. The only proof you can get is your gut instinct telling you that she's lying and though its tough when you love someone you need to follow your gut and walk away.

I had an ex who I was adamant was cheating, I never had solid proof but my gut was screaming at me and eventually I checked his phone. There wasn't anything concrete but what I read was enough. He was very good at manipulating me though so I stupidly stayed and drove myself crazy trying to prove myself right.

I can completely understand and relate how it feels when you love someone and all you're asking is that they speak to you every now and then so you know they are thinking of you yet still they give nothing despite you giving your all. Both parties have to make the effort despite what other things might be happening but unfortunately if they're not then there isn't much that can be done to save the relationship.

 

[Mr-White]

wow you can really feel the hurt in here

MW

 

[Fuzz]

If it was a "normal" situation where a woman was doing this to me I'd have gone with the gut instincts long ago. But there is this big niggle about the manic depression/bipolar/ nervous breakdown that's going on with her.
What if its just her mind that's got a screw loose (more screws loose than any normal woman) and it can be fixed/controlled with drugs! I need to see the change in her first.

 

[The__Malteser]

If it was a "normal" situation where a woman was doing this to me I'd have gone with the gut instincts long ago. But there is this big niggle about the manic depression/bipolar/ nervous breakdown that's going on with her.
What if its just her mind that's got a screw loose (more screws loose than any normal woman) and it can be fixed/controlled with drugs! I need to see the change in her first.

One simple question. And I do want an answer please.

Give me ONE VALID reason why you are still with her?

 

[Broken Hope]

He's only been with her for about 3 months if I remember correctly, I'm not sure why he's letting this affect his life so badly, I could perhaps understand if it was 3 years, but not 3 months.

 

[Fuzz]

Because before all this kicked off we had a very close relationship. She's all I ever wanted. Except for the crazy!

 

[The__Malteser]

Because before all this kicked off we had a very close relationship. She's all I ever wanted. Except for the crazy!

Before
Was
...
Before
Was
...
Before
Was

Not anymore. What if I told you that if you left her today, you will find someone even better than her.

Obviously, its not a grantee, but I am 99.9999....99% sure that you will find people better than her, even more so in her crazy state.

I don't want to decide for you, its your life, but honestly, let it go.

 

[Janesy B]

Because before all this kicked off we had a very close relationship. She's all I ever wanted. Except for the crazy!

She's ruining your life, if you don't have the mental strength to go through it I don't think you should be with her. Get out while you can before she drives you mad - if you're really concerned about her speak to someone in her family if you can and explain the situation and make sure someone is there for her when she needs.

 

[sigma]

Her last BF used to drive past her house checking up on her all the time and check up on her, then send her freaky texts about it. I don't want to start looking that sad about it.

Are you sure that she's not just making that up?

I am slightly wound up again today about it as I got another "I'll let you know" text at 8pm last night when I asked if I could see her again that evening.

Mind games at their best. She's well in control there.

The main reason I did that was because things were looking good on Christmas morning, kids were happy, she looked happy, everything went well, I got some smiles and kisses and an actual "sorry" from her about not getting me anything. That coupled with the fact Christmas stress was effectively over I thought maybe she was lightening up about everything....
But no, still no reply from her today so far.


I've asked and asked about her trying a bit harder to keep me informed a bit more as without the feeling of love there (due to her mentalness according to her) it was all I had left to hang on to (the feeling that she was at least thinking about me)

Well clearly she isn't!

You're being taken for a ride, plain and simple.

 

[Skillmister]

Jesus Fuzz just get out of there. How many weeks have you been posting purely negative stuff about this for now? Almost a month out of a 3 month relationship?

 

[Fuzz]

Two and a half weeks actually, Yes and it's coming to an end ok.

 

[DannyDan]

You're being taken for a ride, plain and simple.

This. Sounds like you're showering her with gift/attention etc and getting nothing in return. Get a girl who is more into you.

 

[cm1179]

It doesn't get any better either, I got the distinct impression her child being rushed off to hospital Christmas Eve was a pack of lies, but again I've got no solid proof. What I think she did was go off drinking with her mates.

I am worried I am the one making a mountain out of a molehill over all this.
Yes I hear the "get out, get out" in my own head every ****ing day too and I am working towards that. I just want to understand the changes the drugs make and get proof that she has been lying you know. So I can justify it to myself as I'm seriously analytical about everything. I need to almost double check myself and what I'm doing/thinking to make sure I'm not the one that's bat***.

uh ooooh. you're at that place in less than 3 months.

you need to leave. stay friends if you must but do not continue this as it is not a secure relationship and will kick you to bits.

the only thing you need to justify to yourself is you pride your family, sanity, job and friends as this relationship sounds like it will have a negative effect on all 3.

you'll read this back in a months time and see how you are playing right into her hands.