Jokes with Expiration Dates

mac1st3 · 12 Apr 2014 at 13:36

Something popped up in my head this morning, how some topical jokes have expiration dates, that for the moment seem funny, but as time moves on less and less people will understand, Oscar Pistorious for example, in a few years time he'll be less news worthy, and any jokes relating to him will likely be met with blank stares.

So here's the place for jokes that may have been funny in the past, but are soon to die out.

I'll start:

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walken

Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years.
His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she stood him up.

There will be a new post-mortem today on the body of Michael Jackson at the request of his family. The doctor has been briefed to determine which was the cause of death:
A) Sunshine
B) Moonlight
C) Good Times
D) Boogie.

OhEsEcks · 12 Apr 2014 at 13:39

The Reeve joke is as old as his accident. And he died ten years ago. You'd think there would be an expiration date on it, but it's still hilarious. As is the "where does X keep his armies? Up his sleevies". Replace X with any historical military leader.

mac1st3 · 12 Apr 2014 at 13:41

That's what I mean, in 5-10 years time, there's going to be a generation of people who don't know who Christopher Reeve is or about his accident.

rebel rebel · 12 Apr 2014 at 13:44

For me the Roy Castle joke never gets old.

mame · 12 Apr 2014 at 18:03

4 years ago there were quite a few jokes about the naming of the ipad. The media thought the name was hilarious. Would be pretty hard to make anyone laugh about that now.

The ipad. Is this Apple's new leap into the female hygiene product market?

bainbridge · 12 Apr 2014 at 19:41

I know older jokes.

I still tell them and if one person laughs then mission complete.

AshD93 · 12 Apr 2014 at 20:28

A man walked into the opticians. The receptionist said 'Sir you're 10 minutes late'. The man replied 'Sorry I didn't see the time.'

bazzabear · 12 Apr 2014 at 20:41

I think you might have missed the point.

OP is referring to topical jokes which reference a particular person or event - and when that person or event is no longer remembered no-one will understand.

neil_g · 12 Apr 2014 at 20:43

Those jokes must have an expiry that passed a long time ago.

Because they stink.

Ha.

Participant · 12 Apr 2014 at 20:49

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

Popeye beat the **** out him.

Soon nobody will know who Popeye is

.
(Or Jesus for that matter).

AshD93 · 12 Apr 2014 at 20:52

bazzabear said:
I think you might have missed the point.

OP is referring to topical jokes which reference a particular person or event - and when that person or event is no longer remembered no-one will understand.

I got the point, I just wanted to tell my joke to someone.

bazzabear · 12 Apr 2014 at 21:02

That seems fair.

jesusismyairbag · 12 Apr 2014 at 21:15

oscar pistorius gets locked up in a zoo, why?

because he's universally stupid and his arms are way longer than his "legs"

TurnipHead · 12 Apr 2014 at 21:38

mac1st3 said:
So here's the place for jokes that may have been funny in the past, but are soon to die out.

Bruce Forsyth?

Lartyconshayo · 12 Apr 2014 at 21:55

Did you hear about the RUC van that crashed into a tree ?

the IRA said they planted it...

RUC been disbanded for what ? A decade and a half or summat. Of course given the troubles have been on everyone's minds for hundreds of years maybe this one still has some mileage

Django x2 · 12 Apr 2014 at 22:17

Stevie Wonder got given a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he had ever read

George Michael got busted in the toilets whilst playing with a chocolate bar. He was careless with his Whisper.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? 'Cos he's black...

Participant · 12 Apr 2014 at 22:40

The UK Government has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country if they vote for independence.

I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.

Gregster · 12 Apr 2014 at 22:56

Participant said:
The UK Government has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country if they vote for independence.

I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.

Proper loled

rubberduck · 13 Apr 2014 at 03:19

AshD93 said:
I got the point, I just wanted to tell my joke to someone.

Translation: I completely missed the point of the OP but don't want to admit it. Hopefully these smileys will convince you.

DavidMarq · 13 Apr 2014 at 06:28

Two I remember from way back.

What's red and splattered all over the wall?

What's green and hangs down drains?