Colonic Irrigation

Spuj · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:04

NexusK said:
Porn stars do it before anal scenes.

I'm off to carry out some, urm....... research

shroomz · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:05

I smell a name change...

Terminal_Boy · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:05

It's the only way humans can safely rehydrate using sea water.

antijoke · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:13

shroomz said:
I smell a name change...

That's not a name change you smell.....

Glaucus · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:14

Terminal_Boy said:
It's the only way humans can safely rehydrate using sea water.

This would not work, see water is far to salty, if anything it would suck water out of you.

McGray · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:20

Glaucus said:
This would not work, see water is far to salty, if anything it would suck water out of you.

This.

Seawater would be more concentrated than the various solutes in the body so water molecules would actually pass through the gut wall into the sea water, rather than the other direction.

xx

sand_dune · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:21

If you live a healthy life, you don't need any of these ridiculous procedures. Butt for someone who is say 350 kilograms, lays in bed and cant move this might be of some use.

Skidder · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:25

I have a policy of minimising interference when it comes to my bottom, so no.

Glaucus · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:29

sand_dune said:
If you live a healthy life, you don't need any of these ridiculous procedures. Butt for someone who is say 350 kilograms, lays in bed and cant move this might be of some use.

Why would it even help with those people.

tom_e · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:32

Terminal_Boy said:
It's the only way humans can safely rehydrate using sea water.

Have you been watching Bear Grylls? It's the safest way to rehydrate using dirty water rather than sea water, in the case of that episode he was using rainwater in the boat which had been mixed with bird crap and other nasties.

Saint1972 · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:44

Can we ease up on the toilet humour please?

Orionaut · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:47

tom_e said:
Have you been watching Bear Grylls? It's the safest way to rehydrate using dirty water rather than sea water, in the case of that episode he was using rainwater in the boat which had been mixed with bird crap and other nasties.

^This, It is for dirty or brackish water.

Mind, you can extend your fresh water at sea by mixing it with sea water. Thor Hyadall discovered this during the Kon-Tiki expedition (He also found that the extra salt actually reduced thirst and therefore water consumption)

Back to OP.

Dont waste you money on Colonic irrigation.

If you want to get your insides squeeky clean, just get some Picolax from the chemists.

Mind, be warned, you will be projectile ******** for about 24 hours and will need to ensure that you are, at no time, more than 10ft from a bog!

(Do a web search for "The Picolax Thread" )

tom_e · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:48

Orionaut said:
(Do a web search for "The Picolax Thread" )

Possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet.

Orionaut · 4 Feb 2016 at 15:56

tom_e said:
Possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet.

In all seriousness, I had the experience when I went to have a VC a couple of years ago.

I would strongly advise anybody having to have this procedure and take picolax to get some incontinence pants (Nappies for grown ups)

When you get the first "urge", it will be in the middle of the night and you will not have even enough time to get out of bed! :eek:

Jamesyboyjim · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:13

Klunt Bumskrint said:
Has anyone here had it, what was your experience?

Find anything good?

What like? a pocket watch, or sofa change?

KaHn · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:13

tom_e said:
Possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet.

Google the "bulldog story" on the nufc forum (or was on it).

KaHn

dazza13 · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:31

That picolax thread is genius.

Cosimo · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:39

Luggs said:
I opened a colonic irrigation clinic last summer. It was going fine until the hosepipe ban

I got a new job in a colonic irrigation clinic. It's full of crap...

Jacksonn · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:41

This thread is blatantly going to be blocked up with all kinds of ****.

sand_dune · 4 Feb 2016 at 16:48

Glaucus said:
Why would it even help with those people.

Because their body functions would be already severely impaired, they probably need help with basic things.