Soldato
Hi Gilly,
Sorry to be personal but how did you being a full time single parent come to be? Did you win residency???
OcUK Dadsnet thread
- Thread starter Devrij
- Start date
Hi Gilly,
Sorry to be personal but how did you being a full time single parent come to be? Did you win residency???
There was a good thread started with tips and suggestions of what to buy/not to buy.
Perhaps this could be added to the first post?
BB x
Perhaps this could be added to the first post?
BB x
It's rad, you're going to love it. Good luck with all that work. We kept ours in her moses basket for the first couple of months (more convenient for those 3am feeds etc), but she's settled in the cot now. She did spend a few nights break dancing around her cot with all the extra space though which was fun. Might buy you some more time with your man cave!
Man of Honour
It's still very new, and the agreements are yet to be reached. They have lived with me full time for some weeks though.
Soldato
But can I ask is it going through court?
Man of Honour
No, we're not there yet, but it may well end up doing.
Soldato
Ok. Well if you need any help on that. Offers there.
Man of Honour
Thanks... have you been through similar? There's a silly amount of misinformation out there.
Soldato
5.5yrs of hell.
Currently trying to sue MoJ for negligence. Give regular advice to Dads on a range of issues including Court advice and help with letters (vs solicitors) and applications and advice on what to ask for plus other help.
Man of Honour
Sorry to hear that, it's already a tough enough time without having the legal minefield to navigate.
Soldato
Coming at the this from the other direction (instant step dad 15 years ago), I can't stress how important it is for you and your ex to agree all the roles/responsibilities/domestic arrangements/finances and get this agreement entered into the court records for your divorce.
Man of Honour
I've been on both sides. The eldest of the two boys was from a previous relationship, but I've been Dad for 9 of his 12 years now.
Soldato
It is moreso for Dads
Man of Honour
Oh yeah, that's where I was coming from. I don't think for one second that my (soon to be ex) wife has found any of it difficult, and everything seems set up for her and not for me. Especially with kids and finance.
Thanks, think I'm going to need the luck although I do have a friend who will be helping me out so that will help a bunch.
We will be doing the same, our friends dropped off the basket yesterday as a gift to us so plan is to keep them in with us for the first few months (and see how it goes).
Are you starting to get your little girl into a evening/sleeping routine now then if she has moved into a cot?
My 2 year old keeps posting things in mine. There's lipstick and clothes pegs in there at the moment, I can barely be bothered to get it out as I might as well just hold off until more stuff is in there. I also have a 3 year old and he's probably the influence for just about anything bad.
Soldato
Its a sad situation and over the years I've heard some heartbreakers and some of complete unfairness.
A few:
This one I didn't deal with but heard from a colleague. Dad went to gain custody and ex made serious allegations. This resulted in contact stopping totally. Because of the nature of the allegations the said man couldn't reside in the family home (with his new wife and their child) and had to go to stay at his parents every night. A year later when attempting conviction ex broke down admitting it was a lie and she was "scared" of losing child. The Mum got.....
One I did help with, my partners brother. He has custody and tried get some maintenance. He called gave all details including where she was working. They couldn't take any money because she was working on maternity cover only thus its not a guaranteed job. I nearly hit the roof! Told not to shout etc but nothing they could do until she works full time perm. No reasoning with their policies and the law. She's been working maternity cover now for 5+years and even advanced onto manager while still covering maternity leave at the exact same place. I often beg him let me take CSA/CMS court but he doesn't want the hassle.
Soldato
I've got a 4 year old, a 1 year old and another on the way.
Happy to exchange advice and hear tales from other Dad's, being a Dad is awesome and time really does go too quickly. My little girl is going to school this year, can't quite believe it.
Happy to exchange advice and hear tales from other Dad's, being a Dad is awesome and time really does go too quickly. My little girl is going to school this year, can't quite believe it.
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Soldato
I've been really lucky with my ex partner. The split wasn't fun, but we agreed on a total 50/50 split in time (so I get 7 days out of 14) and finances etc. We weren't married so no divorce to worry about thankfully. The children took it well too which is the main thing.
I'm still finding it hard not seeing them every day, even after almost half a year. That'll probably not change! And i'm currently feeling super guilty for meeting someone new!
I'm still finding it hard not seeing them every day, even after almost half a year. That'll probably not change! And i'm currently feeling super guilty for meeting someone new!