Does anyone else have no friends?

[AHarvey]

Ok, this is going to be a little odd and sound a little Emo but..

Up until the age of 10 I had friends, but I was a book worm. I played out but was happier inside reading. Birthday parties were always mental as the whole school came round, used to go out on our BMX's etc.

In school I was part of the popular group, as well as the geeky people, had loads of friends, some good friends.

My wife and I got together at 15, and it is 20 years together next march, which means it's 17 years since we left college.

I've had many jobs since then, some short term to start but only 3 in the last 10 years. Longest was 7 years and I don't think I walked away with one real friend.

I've a mate Chris who I met as we had kids at the same time, we text a few times a month, but he's a mate really. As a couple we're out at Christmas with other couples, we have couple friends we do stuff with, Christmas parties, BBQ's, nights out 4 or 5 times a year. People seem to like us, we're always having a laugh when we do meet others, people come to me for advice or help, people seem to like me.

I work, I'm a dad, a husband, I sleep. That is how it goes. I can be someone's rock in times of need, but I also get times where I just can't be bothered with the BS that comes out of people.

No one just turns up at our house other than family, we don't turn up at others homes. if I needed somewhere to crash i have no idea where I'd go. Hell, I didn't even have a stag do 7 years ago because I didn't have anyone to invite, just made excuses to not have one.

Is it just me that's like this? Is it a result of today's society that people don't have those close friendships anymore? is it a geeky thing where I've spent too long in front of a keyboard I've forgotten 'how to friend' Am I just odd?

(I've just watched "I love you man" and it really struck a cord)

 

[Shampoo]

.

 

[AHarvey]

I've got no friends. Nothing malicious, I just always preferred my own company as a child and as I got older I never really changed. I obviously know and interact with others and it's all civil and jovial enough, but not one actual friend. No one I'd rely on or be able to talk about anything important and certainly wouldn't visit them or expect them to knock on my door ever.

It is what it is.

That's it, I've been the same, happy in front of a computer, happy on my own but at the same time, knowing I don't have any close friends is like a massive kick in the feels. Tomorrow I probably won't care about it again, but I get moments when I do.

 

[adolf hamster]

It seems to be a common enough thing these days, ironic with all the social media etc thats meant to keep you connected.

Freinds come and go, you lose freinds transitioning from school to uni to work, they come and go through life.

As you get older you have fewer freinds, but the ones you do have are very dear to, ive reached that stage where i dont have many freinds but the ones i do have are the kind you can implicitly trust.

You can change it though, join a club etc, meet folk doing something you enjoy, hobbies are a wonderful thing and getting into a social community can bring new people into your life.

 

[Shampoo]

.

 

[~>Dg<~]

why are you worried about others feelings to your social status ?

i could tell you mine you would be like wow wtf but what would that achieve. just enjoy yourself be happy.forget any bs.have fun.

 

[setter]

I have very few people that id class as really good friends, some are relations who i grew up with, some work abroad and i never see them for months at a time. But generally im a pretty sociable person. I get on well with people in my small village, yet the vast majority of them i wouldnt class as close friends. And when out in other towns or at work etc i tend to meet new people and get on with them pretty well. I tend to be pretty relaxed/easy going.

 

[foster grant]

the cat likes me , the mrs still talks to me....so all is good

 

[setter]

the cat likes me , the mrs still talks to me....so all is good

Well im single, the cat i feed is a crazy wild stray. So no idea wether it likes me or just see's me as a food dispenser lol. Aside from that, things are grand.

 

[Pawnless Endgame]

AHarvey, I'm from the same area as you.

Early adult life- pretty friendless. Then worked at a couple of places, and that's where I got most of my friends from.

With the closure of Staffs Uni (Stafford campus), the college is thriving at the moment. I have thought about joining a night class with one of the college courses. Worth a thought?

 

[Scougar]

I have some people I'd consider close-ish friends, but only few. They are back in England. Since moving to the states I have no real friends here. I don't hang out with anyone outside of work. That is down mainly to having extreme marriage issues when I moved to the USA though, that I couldn't focus on anything else.

I do have paintball as a hobby and and met some good people, but no one I'd call a friend yet really.

I am easily swayed into being a loner though. There is one thing you must remember, to make friends, you have to be a friend. Don't expect others to want to be friends with you if you don't make the effort yourself.

 

[Liquiduk]

I've a few close friends, and heck I am always willing to meet new ones should we share enough in common or there is value in the relationship.

I think interaction, being able to exchange ideas and passions with people outside of work/family is important.

 

[horseunderwater]

no i dont have any friends either

 

[itchy]

I don't have any either really.

I have 2 real friends, one is living in Shrewsbury and the other? I dunno he disappeared the beginning of July not heard a thing since.

So nope don't have any friends and don't care, I don't like people in general I have always liked my own company.

I think its a computer, nerd, geek thing myself.

 

[Newbfail]

same here, I have just worked too hard I guess at my education and career that social life seemed to just gradually disappear.

I have people I know through sports but no one I would class as a "friend".

 

[Richdog]

Is it just me that's like this? Is it a result of today's society that people don't have those close friendships anymore? is it a geeky thing where I've spent too long in front of a keyboard I've forgotten 'how to friend' Am I just odd?

Let's get something straight for you and the other OCUK'ers that have no friends; it is nothing to do with modern society, it is to do with your own attitudes and social skills. Society has nothing to do with it, and the sooner you accept that you have personally made a conscious decision to eschew friendship, or at least making no effort to making and maintaining social bonds, and that society is not to blame, the better.

Threads like this make me sad, not because people don't have friends, that's fine if it's what you want, but because they don't really seem to understand why.

Yes friends can sometimes be a pita and make you feel like crap, but they can also be there for you when all else fails and the feeling of camaraderie you generally get is irreplaceable by wife, child or anything else. The trick is just to find the good friends that accept who you are and wouldn't try to screw you. It takes time, trial and error.

 

[itchy]

Let's get something straight for you and the other OCUK'ers that have no friends; it is nothing to do with modern society, it is to do with your own attitudes and social skills. Society has nothing to do with it, and the sooner you accept that you have personally made a conscious decision to eschew friendship, or at least making no effort to making and maintaining social bonds, and that society is not to blame, the better.

Threads like this make me sad, not because people don't have friends, that's fine if it's what you want, but because they don't really seem to understand why.

Yes friends can sometimes be a pita and make you feel like crap, but they can also be there for you when all else fails and the feeling of camaraderie you generally get is irreplaceable by wife, child or anything else. The trick is just to find the good friends that accept who you are and wouldn't try to screw you. It takes time, trial and error.

It depends on what you define as a friend?

I know hundreds of people but I would not call them friends, a true friend is someone you can confide in and know they wont gossip.
Someone you could phone at a moments notice and get a bed for the night or a tenner for a taxi home.

 

[Richdog]

It depends on what you define as a friend?

I know hundreds of people but I would not call them friends, a true friend is someone you can confide in and know they wont gossip.
Someone you could phone at a moments notice and get a bed for the night or a tenner for a taxi home.

Depends what I define as a friend? Come on man don't be so intentionally dense. I define a good friend by the same criteria that most other sensible people do. Loyal, trustworthy, good to be around. Who understand and accept your flaws and like you regardless.

That's a friend. Anything else are social acquaintances, which is also fine and fills a social need, but they are not the people you go to when the poo hits the fan.

Your ability to find and retain these people is dependent on your own character and social skills, as well as the effort you put in to maintain those friendships.

 

[wedrum]

Depends what I define as a friend? Come on man don't be so intentionally dense. I define a good friend by the same criteria that most other sensible people do. Loyal, trustworthy, good to be around. Who understand and accept your flaws and like you regardless.

That's a friend. Anything else are social acquaintances, which is also fine and fills a social need, but they are not the people you go to when the poo hits the fan.

Your ability to find and retain these people is dependent on your own character and social skills, as well as the effort you put in to maintain those friendships.

I'm similar to those above. I have a few close friends I can turn too even after not seeing each other for a while the bond is always there.

And I totally agree with you I put zero effort into having these friends around all the time.. Why???, because of work and my wife and 3 kids. Anytime left after work is spent with them like a lot of folk.

 

[Ayahuasca]

7 close friends who I see regularly, some of which are married or in long term relationships.

Luckily didn't choose ones who once they're with someone you never see them again