How does your life change when you move out?

[S@njay]

Have you thought about it from a Parents point of view?

As a parent myself, I don’t want to bring my kids up to live in my house their entire life. I want to enjoy themselves and have a purpose in life. I would hate for my children to just Work, come home and occasionally go out partying.

If they wanted to stay at home for a while with an eventual goal that they want to achieve, I would be delighted to help them in their journey to their own happiness.

Or even if their lifestyle meant the family home is their base because they have an own business or a job which they need to travel lots.
(Not i get drunk and go out lots, i just need a bed. Or i just purchased an expensive car so cant afford to buy a house.). I also do not include "i want to travel the world" as a reason to stay at home!

Do you have a goal in life you want to achieve? Are your current living arrangements helping you to achieve this and be happy?

As lots of other people have said, its not just a pressure to move out because social convention dictates to do so.
Just dont waste a life away confined in the same bedroom you were brought up in as a child in for no reason.

 

[FurryLemon]

Did none of you do anything when living at home? Seems a lot of people were catered for by their parents...

I left at 18, but when living at home I was expected to do/help with: laundry, cleaning, ironing, helping with grocery shopping, helping with renovations works, child minding the youngun's etc etc

God forbid my parents were doing something and you were sat doing nothing! Only way to escape chores was to leave the house.

When I moved out I was a fully functioning adult as a result though.

 

[ScoTTyBEEE]

Have you thought about it from a Parents point of view?

As a parent myself, I don’t want to bring my kids up to live in my house their entire life. I want to enjoy themselves and have a purpose in life. I would hate for my children to just Work, come home and occasionally go out partying.

If they wanted to stay at home for a while with an eventual goal that they want to achieve, I would be delighted to help them in their journey to their own happiness.

Or even if their lifestyle meant the family home is their base because they have an own business or a job which they need to travel lots.
(Not i get drunk and go out lots, i just need a bed. Or i just purchased an expensive car so cant afford to buy a house.). I also do not include "i want to travel the world" as a reason to stay at home!

Do you have a goal in life you want to achieve? Are your current living arrangements helping you to achieve this and be happy?

As lots of other people have said, its not just a pressure to move out because social convention dictates to do so.
Just dont waste a life away confined in the same bedroom you were brought up in as a child in for no reason.

THIS. Great post S@njay.

 

[Noxia]

LOL!

When I send houseproud I mean, looking after it - not necessarily spending lots - though you invariably do, when you own somewhere as you think "ooh I'd like to fix that / alter that / do that / add that / remove that..." or something like that!.

Your situation is a little different, having your own wing (west wing?! ) is different as that's almost like an annex - in which case that's almost like living alone. But living in the same house with your parent's bedroom next to yours and having to have your lounge/bedroom and so on in your bedroom is to reminiscent of university and to me just isn't progressing!

Good on your for being less materialistic - I learned that a while back when I didn't have any money to spend on stuff!

Yes wing was a bit exaggerated, downstairs bedroom, living room attached just for my use and en suite. So I was basically the granny in the annex. I see what you mean with the looking after it part, I cannot ignore an issue, have to fix right away.
Seems to be a very different attitude in Italy regarding the moving out bit, parents always refer to their house as home so when you come to visit you are coming home.

 

[Hades]

Failure to launch...

I've always said that my main role as a parent is to teach my kids how to live in this world when I'm no longer here. I obviously don't say that to them. But behind everything I do for them is the motivation that they stand on their own two feet and build a great life for themselves. They are welcome to live with me for as long as they need. But I would have failed my main aim if they are still with me when approaching 40's.

 

[J.T]

I love my kids with all my heart but if they are still living in my house at 35 I will move out!

 

[=XDC=FluphyBunny]

Happily married but when the wife goes on girly nights out and I have the house to myself I love it Living by yourself is great and is something everyone should try.

OP if you are financially capable of moving out, do it. Hell, you can still go to your parents for the occasional visit[meal], its not like you aren't allowed to see them again.

 

[The IPB]

So how do women react when you bring them home and they're faced with models of pre-pubescent Japanese girls, cartoon paedophilia and possibly your 'other half' who also happens to be a pillow?

You made me spit my tea out

 

[Richdog]

Yes wing was a bit exaggerated, downstairs bedroom, living room attached just for my use and en suite. So I was basically the granny in the annex. I see what you mean with the looking after it part, I cannot ignore an issue, have to fix right away.
Seems to be a very different attitude in Italy regarding the moving out bit, parents always refer to their house as home so when you come to visit you are coming home.

And how many people do you think are lucky enough to have their own 'wing', or granny annex, in their parents house? Maybe 1%? Hilarious that this pampered situation is what you have been basing all of your defense on, despite it not being even slightly representative of the average scenario.

As for the "I'm no longer materialistic" spiel, this usually sounds like someone who used to have problems of some kind in life, either heavy debt or some kind of addictions, and had to sort themselves out and became exaggeratedly anti-materialistic in the process.

 

[VincentHanna]

I'm 34

I moved out when I was 23. First I rented a 2 bedroom flat with a friend for 4 years, then I moved in to a single bed palce of my own in 2010 and a year later met my girlfriend and have been living together pretty much since then in a rented 2 bedroom house

I had no regrets about moving out, there weren't many downsides as far as I was concerned but I am fairly self-sufficient.

Only real downside is i've spent a fortune on renting and house prices are ridiculous where we are, so though we do have savings, we can't save enough as prices are going up quicker than we can save.

If I had stayed at home for another 11 years I would have easily been able to afford to buy a house.

 

[dl8860]

Have you thought about it from a Parents point of view?

As a parent myself, I don’t want to bring my kids up to live in my house their entire life. I want to enjoy themselves and have a purpose in life. I would hate for my children to just Work, come home and occasionally go out partying.

If they wanted to stay at home for a while with an eventual goal that they want to achieve, I would be delighted to help them in their journey to their own happiness.

Or even if their lifestyle meant the family home is their base because they have an own business or a job which they need to travel lots.
(Not i get drunk and go out lots, i just need a bed. Or i just purchased an expensive car so cant afford to buy a house.). I also do not include "i want to travel the world" as a reason to stay at home!

Do you have a goal in life you want to achieve? Are your current living arrangements helping you to achieve this and be happy?

As lots of other people have said, its not just a pressure to move out because social convention dictates to do so.
Just dont waste a life away confined in the same bedroom you were brought up in as a child in for no reason.

Good post. And OP, if you read this and think 'Ah but my parents aren't like this, they enjoy having me around and wouldn't want me to leave anyway', you need to think really hard about that. Because if they have put up with you for this long they are probably a) used to it so don't know what they're missing to have the place to themselves again or b) too nice to say they think you should leave. In any case it is up to you to be proactive regardless of how welcome you THINK you might still be.

Good luck, set yourself a deadline and get moving.

 

[RobDogDog]

I'm 29 and live at home. In fact, the majority of my close friends also live at home. We are in Oxford though which is crazy expensive and we don't have low self esteem which I've seen being battered around in this thread.

 

[Noxia]

And how many people do you think are lucky enough to have their own 'wing', or granny annex, in their parents house? Maybe 1%? Hilarious that this pampered situation is what you have been basing all of your defense on, despite it not being even slightly representative of the average scenario.

As for the "I'm no longer materialistic" spiel, this usually sounds like someone who used to have problems of some kind in life, either heavy debt or some kind of addictions, and had to sort themselves out and became exaggeratedly anti-materialistic in the process.

You like to make assumptions don't you. You're not very good at them though as they are so far from the truth it doesn't even warrant justifying.

I only had my 'wing' in the last house which we moved in to 2011, before that regular houses. So actually it is very heavily based on an average scenario. If I was to make an assumption like you I'd say you seem very angry about it possibly because you were a massive pain in the backside and your parents didn't want you around? However it would be s total stab in the dark like yours.

 

[VincentHanna]

So you've had a wing of a house to yourself for 6 years....1% is about right there.

 

[Worthy]

You don't need to start "looking" for a relationship, that just happens more often than not. Try some of the dating apps if you want to push it along. Don't bother doing this whilst you still live at home.

What you do need to do is get out of your parents house! There's no point me reiterating what everyone has already said. £1k a month after mortgage is plenty to live on - yes you will have less disposable income, but you'll be able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, which is something it sounds like you're struggling to do at the moment from reading between the lines in this thread.

I moved out at 27, and after bills I had about £40 a month spare. Did I mind? No!

 

[Noxia]

So you've had a wing of a house to yourself for 6 years....1% is about right there.

A double bedroom with ensuite and an adjoining room. If that is considered some kind of fairytale privilege then I'm really sorry for you.

 

[#Chri5#]

My problem is I just don't know if say 1k a month is enough for EVERYTHING else after paying mortgage.

When I went to speak to some estate agents a few months back what they told me about ground rent, council tax etc etc... it started to look like I wouldn't be able to afford it on my own. Or it would be a real stretch.

Have you actually sat down and properly worked out a monthly budget? MSE will give you free templates to work with here.

Work things out properly and then can you make a decision based on facts, not some wishy-washy lines like "it started to look like..."

 

[Richdog]

You like to make assumptions don't you. You're not very good at them though as they are so far from the truth it doesn't even warrant justifying.

I only had my 'wing' in the last house which we moved in to 2011, before that regular houses. So actually it is very heavily based on an average scenario. If I was to make an assumption like you I'd say you seem very angry about it possibly because you were a massive pain in the backside and your parents didn't want you around? However it would be s total stab in the dark like yours.

Zero anger from my side, but someone has to put a reality check on the overly idealistic nonsense you have been repeating in the thread surrounding living with parents, and how materialism is the root of all evil and everyone should just give up their job and leave the country for a year in their mid-thirties. It's hardly a sensible or balanced viewpoint.

A double bedroom with ensuite and an adjoining room. If that is considered some kind of fairytale privilege then I'm really sorry for you.

The fact you don't realise how uncommon that is in a family home speaks volumes.

 

[VincentHanna]

When I moved out in 2006 my parents had a 5 bedroom house with just me and them living there (and 2 dogs). At that point my two older sisters were long gone. I had a 'double bedroom' of my own and predominant use of the small downstairs office/study.

Didn't stop me moving out.

 

[FurryLemon]

I'm 29 and live at home. In fact, the majority of my close friends also live at home. We are in Oxford though which is crazy expensive and we don't have low self esteem which I've seen being battered around in this thread.

Could you not house share with said mates?

A 3 bed semi can't be that much split 3 ways. Even if its 2 doubles and a single, there is always that one mate that is never home and just needs a place to rest their head.