3 Months Working Abroad Without My Family .....

glenimp617 · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:16

I'm struggling to see any downsides

You get £18,000
You get 3 months rest away from the wife and kids
You get to experience working abroad (great for CV)
You get to experience a new city

Take an ipad and facetime each night, 3 months will fly

HangTime · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:16

Bear in mind you'll be working 72hrs a week so really that £18k is for the equivalent of 6 months normal working hours. Is that £18k gross or net?

Also in terms of Skype etc factor in timezones etc, family will be 6hrs ahead of you which means if you are working 12hr shifts presumably they will be in bed by the time you get home (maybe not with teens, who knows) and at work/school when you get up in the morning. Maybe less of an issue these days with mobile internet etc but just something to bear in mind.

Not saying it is a bad idea, just pointing out some considerations.

VincentHanna · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:17

glen8 said:
I'm struggling to see any downsides

You get 3 months rest away from the wife and kids

I'd argue anyone who sees that as a benefit, has a terrible relationship with their wife and kids.

Heliospherez · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:21

Thats' exactly what I thought - if you don't have serious doubts about it - or your wife - then do you really/truly have a good relationship with your wife ????

I have done similar in the past (before I was married with kids) and even though I had a ball each time..... I would not do it now.

To miss 3 months of my kids lives/time with wife just aint worth a new kitchen - or £18,000. But each person is different I suppose.
I just don't understand companies that expect you you basically give up your soul for them - especially when there are ways and means to do business differently..... ie have they offered to put your family up or give you/them a couple of free trips over/back ?

And it's ok saying suck it up etc - but I know numerous work mates who have separated due to similar work comittments - or have come back to find out their other halfs have been having affairs for years due to their extended work time away.

tom_e · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:24

Heliospherez said:
ie have they offered to put your family up or give you/them a couple of free trips over/back ?

Seems like massive overkill and expense for the company considering it's only 3 months and it very much sounds like it's wholly down to the OP rather than the company having any expectation that he will do it.

HangTime · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:29

Also given he's talking about getting the three months over and done with before a family holiday in August implies that the 3 month period must be fairly soon and would thus overlap with school term etc. Additionally working 12hrs a day, 6 days a week he won't have that much time to spend with them anyway depending on how much travel time is needed on top of that.

b0redj0rd · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:33

I'd go. I've spent 13 weeks working in India for much less than that! Enjoy it - The time will pass quickly enough.

Freefaller · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:38

My wife would be supportive of it. But that's my situation. Personally for such a decent wedge of cash for such a little time you'd be daft not to do it.

Might be good experience too and offer you future possibilities.

No brainer for me personally. Yes it is tough being away from family but it is only 3 months. And the holidays will hold many more exciting memories long term.

Sliver · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:43

VincentHanna said:
Bit of a difference between not missing your own parents at 19, and missing your teenage daughters.

Maybe for you but I love my kids just as much as I love my parents, so for me it's still the same thing.

HangTime · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:50

I think he was implying that once people have reached adult age, most people would miss their teenage children more than they would miss their parents. By the age of 19 most people have developed some independence relative to their parents, whereas parents of younger children will still feel a sense of responsibility.

Sliver · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:52

HangTime said:
I think he was implying that once people have reached adult age, most people would miss their teenage children more than they would miss their parents. By the age of 19 most people have developed some independence relative to their parents, whereas parents of younger children will still feel a sense of responsibility.

Yeah I know what he meant.

chroniclard · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:53

3 months kid free on my own, sign me up!

Can skype them once a week anyway.

Psypher5 · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:56

Its 3 months, not 13 years of you missing your kid's life.

Sliver · 20 Feb 2017 at 10:59

Psypher5 said:
Its 3 months, not 13 years of you missing your kid's life.

Indeed. Thanks for putting this into perspective. And like chroniclard said above, you can still skype them once a week anyway.

tlrBeta · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:00

Diddums said:
This. It's 3 months. Suck it up, tell them to suck it up, come home and treat them with a nice holiday or something and pocket the difference.

£18K post tax - if so, interesting (as mentioned above) If not, why is this a no brainer? 72 Days working 12 hour shifts with little off days.

Now I don't fully know what you do as a profession but is that a good wage? Are you used to working 12 hour shifts?

Just consider options, opportunity yes, some negatives yes

tom_e · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:01

To be fair I could understand if the kids were little, I live with a toddler and she's changed massively in the last 3 months and wouldn't understand if her dad disappeared for a few months but as teenagers they'll know what's happening and it's not like they're at the missing their first steps or anything stage.

glenimp617 · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:02

VincentHanna said:
I'd argue anyone who sees that as a benefit, has a terrible relationship with their wife and kids.

What a silly thing to say. How much time do you see the kids in the week? an hour before school and maybe a couple of hours after work before bedtime. Then add on the weekends.
It's three months, not three years. He will be £18,000 richer which will pay for a good holiday where he can build even better memories with them. It's a one off, not three months every year.

On the one point you quoted me, a rest can be a good thing. Everyone needs time to charge the batteries. Could be the best decision he ever makes. Not seeing them for three months doesn't mean he has a terrible relationship. I'd say quite the opposite actually. He's doing it for them. Unless the OP goes and wastes the 18k on a new car lol

Ace Modder · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:08

Well you commented that your wife thinks it is a jolly up. This to me rings alarm bells that she doesn't want you to go.

Personally I think you should sit down and discuss it openly with your wife, as her for her opinion on it.
Maybe your wife has reasons that she doesn't want you to go? Either way, if it risks your relationship I would certainly iron out any issues before a decision is made.

If your wife hates the idea of it, it could cause your relationship to break down.

Maybe she is being unreasonable? but either way if she isn't happy with you going I'd say don't go.

randomshenans · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:12

I did 6 months, it was tough, but we managed it. Does put strain on you though, as like you've said, she'll think you're living it up while she's sad and lonely. I still get that when I'm away with work, I just carry on. 3 months wouldn't be too bad, really. You'd manage OK.

cheesyboy · 20 Feb 2017 at 11:15

Don't think I'd do it. Depends how much of a boost £18k is, though - the 'bonus' is only above and beyond what you'd earn by staying put. Is it on top of your usual salary?