Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

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I have:
Personal account 1 (Wages in, personal spending) standing order to Personal account 2
Personal account 2 (All personal bills - mobile/credit cards/etc) standing orders to Shared account 1/2
Shared account 1 (Morgage/house bills)
Shared account 2 (Variable costs - weekly food bill, going out / restaurants / holidays etc)

This way we know how much we have individually and as a couple with the assurance that our bills are in order.

When she falls pregrant, this will likely change and shared account 2 will be repurposed until she goes back to work.
 
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Married for 3 years.

Everything is joint, although my wife earns 20% more than I do per month.

If we want to buy *expensive" things for ourselves (I wanted a new T.V for example - she wasn't bothered) we look at our finances together and make a decision.
Bits and bobs (clothes, consumables etc) we just buy as we like.
 
Soldato
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Not married but my partner and I do exactly this. All bills/mortgage into a joint account. Salaries in seperate accounts, savings in seperate accounts.
I think she'd be happy doing it all joint, but I like to have financial independence in my life as it's what I've always known and am comfortable with.

When children inevitably start popping out, all that goes to pot no doubt :p

Same for us.

Salaries into separate accounts, shared account for bills. I'd never even consider doing everything joint (apart from bills of course). It works extremely well this way so we see no reason to change.

Last girlfriend kept nagging about having a shared account. Which I found quite funny seeing she did not have a single penny to her name she couldn't find a way to waste, and I had all the money. Yea, I could see how THAT would be in my benefit :rolleyes:
 
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How does the account splitter camp deal with property investment and stock and shares investments etc? Do you all just buy them individually? Is there a middle ground where you pool funds for your financial strategy so that you can retire with quite healthy joint incomes?
 
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How does the account splitter camp deal with property investment and stock and shares investments etc? Do you all just buy them individually? Is there a middle ground where you pool funds for your financial strategy so that you can retire with quite healthy joint incomes?

I earn twice what my wife does, but we're fortunate enough to both be on good incomes.

We set everything up to be as equal as possible net of all of our costs and savings. So both net incomes go into a joint account, the bills, savings and standing orders etc come out and then we split the remainder equally into our own individual accounts.

For us, pensions took a bit more thought, as there's tax relief to consider as well as tax due when drawing on the pensions, plus I'm 9 years older than my wife. So we worked out (I used to be a financial adviser and still work in pensions) what would overall be the most tax efficient way to bring our two retirement ages as close together as possible. Our own solution was to increase her pension contributions to the point where she no longer pays higher rate income tax, maintain mine at a relatively high level, and have individual savings plans (ISAs) to build up capital. It is actually pretty easy for husband and wife, as the tax wrapper advantages of both pensions and ISAs pass to the spouse on death.

In very simple terms, we modelled cashflow from the moment I hope to retire, through to when she retires through to when the last of us expects to draw the State Pension, and worked out the most tax efficient way of doing it (drawing from pensions, drawing down from ISAs). Then we worked our way back from there to work out how much we need to save, into what and into whose name. It is complex but at the same time it isn't really difficult. The first retiree draws on pension income / tax free cash until the second retiree retires and does the same. Then, when the State Pensions kick in you start to draw down more from ISAs instead of the pensions in order to minimise income tax liability. There are a few other considerations too but that's the basic stuff.

I don't think either of us is living the dream, but we're both equally comfortable with what we have and we'd like it to remain that way into retirement.
 
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I have been with my girlfriend around 11 years, whilst we are not married we are as good as.

We keep our own income and have a joint account for mortgage and bills and pay in equal amounts to cover the costs. Besides that we keep our income fairly separate. Works well since when I buy a new TV, console, game, pc bit or bike part I don't need to justify anything. It also means we can still treat each other and not think "oh it is just my money anyway".
 
Soldato
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First marriage was split and I honestly believe that it was a massive part as to why our relationship failed as there was always this "I paid for this and you didn't pay for that" going on.
This marriage, everything is together and we discuss purchases even if it's a brief, "hey babe, just going to buy some crap from Hobbyking or the electronics shop". The difference in the relationships and trust is night and day.
 
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all the cash goes into one pot. If I want something I buy it and likewise with the Wife. Neither of us take the pee so it works just fine :)
Likewise. I would have thought this a generic basis for a good marriage too. If you can't trust each other with finances I don't really see how you can trust each other.

Which is how I see - rightly or wrongly - people that maintain separate accounts. Especially on here, how many people do it "just in case"?

Works well since when I buy a new TV, console, game, pc bit or bike part I don't need to justify anything. It also means we can still treat each other and not think "oh it is just my money anyway".
I'm interested to know why you think you couldn't justify buying your tv, console, whatever from a joint pot? Actually lets rephrase. I'm interested to know why you think you'd need to justify it.

We know our income, we know our outgoings. These outgoings include the extensive house works we're getting underway, saving for holidays and saving for retirement. We know what we can spend and don't take the ****. Why does anything therefore need justifying?

You should see my cycling related bill!
 
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Likewise. I would have thought this a generic basis for a good marriage too. If you can't trust each other with finances I don't really see how you can trust each other.

Seems to me you're using a shared account to somehow "prove" you trust each other, which is putting the cart before the horse. We trust each other (that comes first), therefore we don't need to prove it by having a shared account. I know she won't do anything crazy with money, and she knows I won't either. Beyond that, the financial nuts-and-bolts are merely a result of simplicity and pragmatism, as they should be.
 
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Seems to me you're using a shared account to somehow "prove" you trust each other, which is putting the cart before the horse.
Which couldn't be further from the truth, of course. Everyone's different and has a different perspective, as I said.

Given the general misogyny on here though, I'm going to take an educated guess that most keep accounts separate just in case.
 
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I pay for everything anyway so it would make no difference if it was a shared account or not, I just top up my Mrs account weekly for her to buy a few extra bits of food, her sick pay goes on her little luxurys like phone, clothing etc.
 
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Everyone's different and has a different perspective, as I said.

Not sure where you said that, but it wasn't your 8.41 post.

What you did say was this:

If you can't trust each other with finances I don't really see how you can trust each other.

Which is how I see - rightly or wrongly - people that maintain separate accounts.

Perhaps it was implied in the rightly or wrongly part. In which case, you are wrong.

And finally...

Given the general misogyny on here though, I'm going to take an educated guess that most keep accounts separate just in case.

Quite a leap of logic there. For one thing, while that may be true of some, kindly don't tar me with the same brush. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, given that separate accounts mean naff-all in the eyes of the law once a couple are married, this would surely only really be valid for unmarried couples?
 
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Perhaps it was implied in the rightly or wrongly part. In which case, you are wrong.
Which is why I said rightly or wrongly. I admitted upfront that my opinion is based on my position and experiences. Fancy that!

Quite a leap of logic there
No, not really. Spend a few minutes reading any of the relationship/marriage trouble threads and its not hard to see.

For one thing, while that may be true of some, kindly don't tar me with the same brush.
...whilst you're doing the exact same thing. Whilst leaping in two footed to scramble about and attack my position personally, when I clearly stated that I was making generic assumptions, again based on my personal experiences.
 
Caporegime
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Separate accounts <> misogyny. If you cannot even accept that, then you truly have a warped view of the world. Perhaps stop reading the relationship threads for a bit! ;)
Show me where I said separate accounts mean misogyny.

If you can't read things without interpreting things wildly out of proportions, perhaps stop reading any thread for a bit :).
 
Soldato
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It's these ones that make me laugh, where they place such value in their trust and relationship into how their bank accounts are set up. :D

But because of that you can also understand why their relationships fail when they don't have full control over everything, so I guess it's why a joint account works better for them.

As I said earlier in the thread, what works for us from a purely logistical point of view, a pot for savings/bills/holidays/kids stuff and separate accounts so we can easily check statements without having to ask if something is legit. Nothing is ever hidden but it's just much easier to stay on top of things. But we've only been together for 15 years or so, so our relationship could just be a flash in the pan. I've already got a separate account 'just in case' because I imagine it would be sooo difficult to open one if we split up. :D
 
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Soldato
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How does the account splitter camp deal with property investment and stock and shares investments etc? Do you all just buy them individually? Is there a middle ground where you pool funds for your financial strategy so that you can retire with quite healthy joint incomes?

We have seperate bank accounts and savings, and a joint account where a standing order pays in the mortgage, bills, holiday savings and some additional money for savings. That way we can purchase things together, but don't have to answer to someone else when we want to buy something shiney.
 
Soldato
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Likewise. I would have thought this a generic basis for a good marriage too. If you can't trust each other with finances I don't really see how you can trust each other.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here and trying to apply the same logic that you have to those that don't share everything, so don't think I'm leaping on the attack.

But, do you feel you need to have a joint account to trust your spouse? Do you think that if you didn't have a joint account you couldn't trust her?
 
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