The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Caporegime
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As I said, basic time management skills.....we all have them.

It's nothing to do with time management if 2 people are doing 60hr weeks or are working different shifts to one another, I know plenty of people who barely see their partners during the week.

I'd agree with your point though that for the general population who do 40 or under hours per week 9-5 then if they're making excuses for seeing you they likely aren't interested.
 
Associate
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Exactly what this guy said. I would personally recommend indoor climbing - win win situation. You learn a new sport, get super fit and it's easy to start conversations with other climbers "what are you working on... blah blah blah... you have someone number"


I thought this but she has money

This! Strangely enough I started indoor climbing last month after the breakup and it's a lot of fun, needs all your concentration, great fitness results and some super toned ladies to look at.
 
Soldato
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By the way "taking it slow" isn't a real thing, you should always push as far as they'll go, if you manage to get sexual with them and you aren't smashing you messed up seriously at some point.

If I smash on a first date I lose interest, I don't want easy - taking it slow with me is a sure fire way to make me more interested.
 
Soldato
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It's nothing to do with time management if 2 people are doing 60hr weeks or are working different shifts to one another, I know plenty of people who barely see their partners during the week.

I'd agree with your point though that for the general population who do 40 or under hours per week 9-5 then if they're making excuses for seeing you they likely aren't interested.

Doesn't matter 40, 60 or 100 hours. If someone really wants to see you then they will prioritize meeting up, no different from a parent would prioritizing seeing their young kids while working crazy amount of hours. If they don't have a good enough work/life balance, yes it does come down to time management skills because in today's society, you are expected to live to work not work to live then they shouldn't be dating anyone at all.
 
Caporegime
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Of course it matters, there's only a certain number of hours in the day, and I'd argue in todays society you are expected to do the opposite if you want nice things and a comfortable life, even a 50 hour week with commute times means you can be up and out at 7 and not back till 7 in the evening. What's a good work/life balance to you might not be to them, spending time dating is a lot different to prioritising time for your own children...
 
Soldato
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Of course it matters, there's only a certain number of hours in the day, and I'd argue in todays society you are expected to do the opposite if you want nice things and a comfortable life, even a 50 hour week with commute times means you can be up and out at 7 and not back till 7 in the evening. What's a good work/life balance to you might not be to them, spending time dating is a lot different to prioritising time for your own children...

I was doing 80 hours a week for a few months about 10 years ago, speaking for myself if I wanted to really see someone, I was always able to make it work. I agree with the consensus, if their interested they will make time.
 
Caporegime
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Also agree. If they are interested they will make time.

Also, if they can't make time in the initial stages do you really want to be with someone with that lifestyle?

Im a work to live type however. Value having a good work/life balance
 
Associate
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Of course it matters, there's only a certain number of hours in the day, and I'd argue in todays society you are expected to do the opposite if you want nice things and a comfortable life, even a 50 hour week with commute times means you can be up and out at 7 and not back till 7 in the evening. What's a good work/life balance to you might not be to them, spending time dating is a lot different to prioritising time for your own children...

if a chick is not making an effort to see you or contact you she is not interested.
 
Caporegime
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if a chick is not making an effort to see you or contact you she is not interested.

She was still seeing him though just not as much as HE wanted, if she wasn't interested at all she wouldn't even bother contacting him, she has hundreds of other guys on tinder/PoF ready to marry her tomorrow.

Here's some Saturday morning brutal pills for you folks:

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Caporegime
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I prefer this thread when it's less redpill / misc garbage and more just good advice. Can we do that again and maybe not do the alpha/beta crap because - and I mean this sincerely - it's tiring and old and useless. There are some great posters in this thread and people who want to share experiences because they've been there or seen someone else who has but to dumb it down to reddit/misc/PUA level is a dis-service to the people asking for advice.
 
Soldato
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People 'settling' for each other is a well known trope of life, I don't think it's a hidden secret at all. Those who are on the receiving end are miserable. According to the ONS, 42% of all marriages in the UK fail. A huge part of that is down to people settling for whatever is in front of them at the time, for whatever reason. For women it's the biological clock ticking away, for men it's usually just wanting companionship and they'll do anything to keep at it. That's why also according to the ONS, 70% of divorces are started by women.

Takeaway: don't marry the first woman who gives you attention, not worth it!!
 
Caporegime
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Dominating rooms with symmetry
I prefer this thread when it's less redpill / misc garbage and more just good advice. Can we do that again and maybe not do the alpha/beta crap because - and I mean this sincerely - it's tiring and old and useless. There are some great posters in this thread and people who want to share experiences because they've been there or seen someone else who has but to dumb it down to reddit/misc/PUA level is a dis-service to the people asking for advice.

Maybe, just maybe if you didn't assume everything posted is misc/redpill you'd have a better time.

Those quotes are direct from your everyday mainstream newspaper.
 
Caporegime
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Maybe, just maybe if you didn't assume everything posted is misc/redpill you'd have a better time.

Those quotes are direct from your everyday mainstream newspaper.
I get that there's general advice but it's very clear when it's specific advice driven by a specific mindset and that invariably comes from the two places I mentioned. I do take your point that some newspapers will offer a similar view.

It's a perception thing, I suppose. I read tosno's responses - and I know he plays them up and I enjoy that to an extent (ask him about the toys I bought his child, no really) - but it is, to me at least, a damaging mindset. It's quite harmful. But then, I haven't been messed around in the same way that some of these posters have, and I haven't met the kind of women they talk about, so maybe the issue is mine because bad things obviously do happen to good people and stats would suggest that sometimes that's going to be women doing it to men.

Short version - balance is a good thing. Most people are not set out to **** up someone else's life. But when that does happen then talk of being Alpha or Beta - to me, at least - doesn't make much sense as useful advice.
 
Woman of Honour
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Short version - balance is a good thing. Most people are not set out to **** up someone else's life. But when that does happen then talk of being Alpha or Beta - to me, at least - doesn't make much sense as useful advice.
In other words - don't treat the opposite sex like they're the enemy and you're going to war ;)
 
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