Lost my 8 week old - Brain Tumor

Soldato
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Simply can't imagine what this must be like to go through. All the best for the coming week and may your future attempts at becoming father and mother again be fruitful and full of health! It brings a smile to my face to see the amount raised however :)
 
Soldato
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OP I've only just seen this thread... I can't imagine the pain you and your missus must be feeling right now.

Not that it helps in anyway but my thoughts are with you mate. I'm really not in a position to donate anything just now to the Justgiving page but will keep it mind.
 
Associate
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Jeepers. OP - I've also only just seen this thread and I echo the sentiments. We're all here for you.

Not that it is an immediate concern of yours, but are you part of a union you could speak with regarding work? They sound like a'holes. If not, take a visit to your regular Doc and speak with him about it. They will sign you off if you genuinely need it.
 
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:( OP, I don't even know what to say. I've only just seen this thread...I know it's late but I can only echo what everyone else in this thread has said. Can't imagine what you've been through and are going through at this time of year

I wish you all the best in future with trying again for a baby.
 
Associate
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I don't have the words to fully express my feelings about this, so big respect to you ...I hope you and your wife find some peace and happiness and a way to move forward. I can't begin to imagine how awful you must feel. Keep talking, don't bottle it up.
 
Soldato
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Sorry for the long post, but i already feel better having gotten some of this out

I read this after moaning to myself that I'd had a rough day and I feel like a right tool now. Tonight, in memory of your wee chick, I'm going to give my twins a big massive hug and I'm going to go light a candle and say a prayer for you. Take comfort in the fact that others (me) have had similar miscarriages, but we came good in the end and had not one but two (twins) I hope that whomever is listening, helps you get the child you so deserve. Mother Nature owes you big time...
 
Soldato
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Everything you've said you are feeling sounds perfectly natural to me - whilst I can't imagine the pain you're going through I can certainly understand it. I can't offer magic words to make it better - I'm hoping that just typing out what you did has helped a little. Every single member of this forum is on your side wishing you all the best and hoping you can get through Thursday the best you can for you and your wife. Once you're through that day, your one step closer to getting yourself back on track. There's also nothing wrong with seeking help from your GP.
 
Soldato
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Can you not get signed off from work by your GP, and then they have to pay you statutory sick pay?

I'm so sorry you're finding things tough at the moment, can't imagine what you're going through. :(

Happy 3rd birthday for this week Ivy x x
 
Soldato
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I had never seen this post until today and reading the OP really brought a tear to my eye. (More than one in fact) I can only imagine what you have been through and it is heart breaking.

Having a quick read through you are a much stronger man than I would be.

I am happy to see that the love and determination that both you and your wife have is seeing you through. You are both there for each other, and as has already been said by speaking to your GP you have taken the right step.

You can also both be proud of each other for what you have done for the charity. I would take that as that small glimmer of light in what might seem like a dark time.
 
Associate
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So sorry you and your family are going through a traumatic time. You're doing the things you should be doing like attending counselling and seeking help from GP with meds. God bless you and your family.
 
Soldato
OP
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Thank you all for your kind words

Well I've just been to the GP and didn't find it much help to be fair. He asked me what i wanted and i just don't know...my 2 options are literally carry on as i am and try and work through it, or medication...he's sent me away to think about the latter.

I cannot have anymore time off work as i was only entitled to 2 weeks statutory sick pay, i've asked about it, and its apparently on a rolling 12 month so it doesn't "renew" until the end of October. Time off work would be brilliant to just chill out a bit and try and work out what i want to do going forward. I am currently looking for another job, but i'm on a decent wage (all be it, on 10 hour days which don't help, and am then on call when i get home and over the weekends) and i can't also be having money worries, so i'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The wife has bought Ivy a Birthday card today...i don't know whether or not i want to also buy her one, i don't know what i'd write in one if i did get one, my head's just a mess after a bad day at work, a frustrating trip to the GP and the constant thoughts of the days to come pinging around in my head :(
 
Soldato
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I remember this thread and imagining what you're going through makes me feel like I have a hole in me, so I can't begin to grasp the reality of it. You're doing incredibly well to be getting help, and it sounds like you and your partner have a strong relationship to be working through this together.

One thing we did on my dad's birthday after he died was to write messages on balloons (helium filled) and "send" them off to him. The whole thing was a bit too spiritual for me, but writing down a short message was good, like I got to say it. Might be a nice way of telling her you love her again.
 
Soldato
OP
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I remember this thread and imagining what you're going through makes me feel like I have a hole in me, so I can't begin to grasp the reality of it. You're doing incredibly well to be getting help, and it sounds like you and your partner have a strong relationship to be working through this together.

One thing we did on my dad's birthday after he died was to write messages on balloons (helium filled) and "send" them off to him. The whole thing was a bit too spiritual for me, but writing down a short message was good, like I got to say it. Might be a nice way of telling her you love her again.

We did this at her funeral :) The family who's garden it landed in actually sent it back to us with a lovely letter
 
Soldato
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We did this at her funeral :) The family who's garden it landed in actually sent it back to us with a lovely letter

Ah good, well my heart goes out to you and your missus. WRT to the meds, they aren't a magic wand, so if you do choose that route temper your expectations. I have had really severe panic attacks my whole adult life, and for me they have seriously taken the edge off (been on them for about 2/3yrs now), but the first week on them was hellish and it takes a couple months to really settle in. So for me they have been beneficial. There are some funky side effects like your knob losing a lot of sensation that nobody tells you about, but they fade over time.
 
Soldato
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Thank you all for your kind words

I cannot have anymore time off work as i was only entitled to 2 weeks statutory sick pay, i've asked about it, and its apparently on a rolling 12 month so it doesn't "renew" until the end of October. Time off work would be brilliant to just chill out a bit and try and work out what i want to do going forward. I am currently looking for another job, but i'm on a decent wage (all be it, on 10 hour days which don't help, and am then on call when i get home and over the weekends) and i can't also be having money worries, so i'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Please check with someone official about the sick pay thing. You qualify for it as long as you've worked there for a certain amount of time, which it sounds like you have. Ring ACAS or the union if you're in one, or speak to CAB. Your employer may be giving you the wrong information.

https://www.gov.uk/employers-sick-pay/eligibility-and-form-ssp1
 
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