Separating from my wife.

[fendi]

a modern day solution may be asking the new lover to move into the house if you are OK with it and the wife does not want a divorce. only if you have a spare room.

 

[Ayahuasca]

a modern day solution may be asking the new lover to move into the house if you are OK with it and the wife does not want a divorce. only if you have a spare room.

Spoiler: OP vs new lover

 

[cyclopopcicle]

Ok, so we had an estate agent come out after I asked, what are you thoughts, she said she has an appointment to see if she can buy me out, I said ok, and how much were you thinking? "Don't know" came the answer, how much do you want she asked? I said 50%" she laughed stating as the mother etc she is entitled to 70% if the kids stay with her, bit of an assumption there I think.

Has she lawyered up yet?


If she says no, then dig in, "ok im not going to agree to it for 5 years, im staying at the property and your boyfriend cant come around ever"

Perhaps the thought of getting a huge was of cash quickly and the ability to move on will work in your favor.

Is the mortgage in joint name or just yours?

I am already considering saying I won't move.

Don’t worry that’s standard behaviour from men and women when their partner stops giving them the tingles, she’ll do the same to the new guy in [insert number of years]

Try not to beat yourself up about it, it’s difficult as a man not to feel inferior somehow, but it happens across the board regardless of how good looking, wealthy and personable said person is.

I am not feeling inferior in any way at all, I know the grass is NOT greener and told her as much.

It happens but yes, she could certainly have handled it a lot better, maybe she saw it as an option that would end it for sure.

You just need to accept it, move on and try and keep things friendly going forwards, make life as simple as you can.

I have accepted it and I am moving on and also trying to keep it friendly but she is making this side of things difficult.

 

[arknor]

rent a bulldozer.

if any woman tried to pull this crap on me I would be a total *** about it.
tell them straight do this and I never see or speak to the kids again, only sending a letter on their 18th birthday explaining why our marriage ended and how much of a ***** you were about it.

move to another country and never pay child support.


whys the women getting 70%? sure take that 70% instead of 50%.
along as I'm never expected to pay child support because you just took it in advance,

 

[2Thumbs]

So the female party performing adultery doesn't have any weight on custodial or equity splits anymore? A lot's changed since my Dad divorced his first wife on the same grounds.

Remind me never to get married.

 

[Ayahuasca]

In the words of Beyonce “Who run the world? Girls!”

 

[koolpc]

Wife and i split everything 50/50. We agreed our child will live 50/50 between us.

 

[Yas786]

In the words of Beyonce “Who run the world? Girls!”

Funny how it doesn’t apply to her, seeing as her husband Jay Z had a fling with some random woman whilst married to her. Which she decided to sing about on her last album.

Definitely for her girls didn’t run the world lol. But her lil sis gave Jay Z a good kicking though

 

[efish]

Ok, so we had an estate agent come out after I asked, what are you thoughts, she said she has an appointment to see if she can buy me out, I said ok, and how much were you thinking? "Don't know" came the answer, how much do you want she asked? I said 50%" she laughed stating as the mother etc she is entitled to 70% if the kids stay with her, bit of an assumption there I think.



I am already considering saying I won't move.



I am not feeling inferior in any way at all, I know the grass is NOT greener and told her as much.




I have accepted it and I am moving on and also trying to keep it friendly but she is making this side of things difficult.

You need to bite the bullet and speak to a lawyer, one who specializes in divorce. You will be in shock, you're partner has had more time to think things through.

Don't text. Certainly don't text stuff like I wont move. Common error that opposing lawyers love.
Wait until you have to respond, say only as much as you need to.

You also need a home and one where the kids can come and stay for weekends, holidays etc. even assuming that they all want to stay with mother (which is a big assumption).

Lawyer up! Its not starting a war, its ensuring that things stay stable and fair for the whole of you're family.

 

[Hades]

From memory a colleague had to move out and continue paying the mortgage (and of course child maintenance). But the house gets sold when the kids are older and he gets 50% of the property value at that point. So I don't think her statement about the mother getting 70% is necessarily true. Obvioiusly talk to a lawyer though.

 

[koolpc]

Divorce lawyers are like vultures around a carcass

 

[kindai]

From memory a colleague had to move out and continue paying the mortgage (and of course child maintenance). But the house gets sold when the kids are older and he gets 50% of the property value at that point. So I don't think her statement about the mother getting 70% is necessarily true. Obvioiusly talk to a lawyer though.

In this case it could be argued that the wife should move out as I assume the other guy has his own place she could move out in.

Also, assume OP wants contact with the kids, argue that you stay in the house as you have nowhere to go and she does, and agree 50/50 split on time / expenditure with kids so 50/50 split of assets.

If I were a judge and the wife said no to that I wouldnt be able to thing anything except she was being unreasonable.

 

[The_Abyss]

She's had an affair, but if she isn't in a relationship then she doesn't have anywhere to go and is the defaqto primary carer of the children. She's unlikely to be going anywhere.

 

[wordy]

Sorry to hear about this mate, hope you get the result you want.

 

[dod]

Sorry to hear about this mate, hope you get the result you want.

I'm going through it as well, only winners are the solicitors.

 

[413x]

This thread really is food for thought for the future. Horrendous is an understatement.

I did not know that if you have kids the carer basically has you by the nads. And that's going to be the woman unless she doesn't want to be.

 

[wordy]

I'm going through it as well, only winners are the solicitors.

Yeah, hope things work out for you too

 

[Delvis]

This thread really is food for thought for the future. Horrendous is an understatement.

I did not know that if you have kids the carer basically has you by the nads. And that's going to be the woman unless she doesn't want to be.

And that's why couples draw up contracts incase something happens

 

[dod]

Yeah, hope things work out for you too

they will. I probably stayed in a **** marriage many more years than I should have. I'm in a happier place now, seeing a lovely lady and beginning to see some light. The divorce however will result in her taking most of my assets despite having contributed nothing. Only positive is that there were no kids

 

[dod]

sorry, cyclopopsicle, hope it works out for you but as others have said, get yourself a decent solicitor. The whole system is skewed in favour of the wife/mother/lower earner.