Strip club etiquette.

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I've been to a couple in the past, usually for friends birthdays. My advice would be to avoid wearing black jeans / trousers. They tend to show off dried cervical mucus worse than a lighter shade of pant. Oh, and get leathered before going in; the drinks cost a fortune.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that that's the first time the words " dried cervical mucus " have appeared in OCUK.
 
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Last one I went to in Newcastle I was chucked out for “talking to one of the girls for too long”. I’d already had a dance from another girl and was waiting for a mate, the conversation was actually great as she was at uni studying in a field I was familiar with but the bouncer must have been tipped off by the manager or something...

Blue Velvet, by any chance?
 
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Normal is you sit down with your friends, get a few drinks in, turn away a bunch of girls who approach, chat with a few you like and then buy a few dances.

Depending on the club you might have the regular lap dances at your table or you might have to be lead away to some other area of the club for the lap dance.

In any case should you wish to go crazy and buy a bottle of champagne, have a girl to yourself for an hour or so then they'll have a private area for that.

You don't have to tip, you're not in the USA, the strippers are generally self employed, you just pay a flat rate for the dances... like £10 or £20... don't be hustled by the **** they come out with like "how about a naughty forty" (where they want to sell you two dances in a row) etc.. if anything if you're buying more dances or spending money then you're in the position to ask for more for less.



You might need to clarify what you mean by tipping here - are you talking about buying lap dances for say £20 but instead paying them £30 each time? Why bother? They're going to be happy that you're buying dances, there is no need to tip on top of that.

Or are you talking about say throwing money on stage for the ones on the pole? It isn't the US, no one needs to do that.

These clubs work by the girls being self employed and paying the club a few in order to work there - the girls have to pay the cost of say two dances in order to work that night and have a schedule whereby they need to go dance on the pole in the middle of the club when called upon by the DJ, they earn no money from dancing on the pole, they only get paid by selling dances to punters. (In some places they might also earn some commission if they sell you Champagne or get you to buy them an overpriced drink)

The club also makes its money from the entry fee you pay, the rip off drinks prices and the rip off card fees. The club doesn't care too much if you want to sit there and buy some drinks.

You'll be approached by a bunch of girls when you get in, most of them will ask up front if you want a dance, some will sit and chat and try to sell you dances that way too. Don't worry about sending them away, they're used to it, if anything most would probably prefer people not to sit and chat with them if you have no intention of buying a dance for them as you're wasting time they could be using to go and hustle other punters. Yes if you sit there and you send away the first half dozen girls you see others might think you're a bit cheap and be less likely to approach, not really an issue though, you can still make eye contact with a girl you like or wave them over or indeed talk to them at the bar. If you're paying them they don't care that you didn't want to pay their co-workers, in fact in some cases they might well hate some of the others - they're mostly all competing against each other though some girls will work as a pair.
This is representative of my experience.

Go in, sit down with a drink and the eager girls that approach immediately you'll generally just politely say something like "we're just going to have a quick drink for now" and once you've had a look around and find a girl you like the look of, away you go. Usually there's a one song dance or 3 songs for marginally better value. Some will try to pressure you into buying them a drink (the most expensive at the bar), so just sidestep that if you can.

Most of all, relax and enjoy yourself. It's quite a relaxing environment imo. You know exactly what the relationship is, and you can just enjoy the view.
 
Caporegime
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@OP - if you are going to get a bit silly and spend $$$ on a bottle of champagne and an hour with a girl you can generally get some value near the end of the night.

I've only done it twice - once was about 10 years ago after a big work night out, we'd been out in the west end until about 3:30am and were debating finding another club/late night bar, I figured I'd already spent a silly amount of money and going to Sophisticats wasn't going to add much more to the bill. A ridiculously hot blonde Eastern European girl was in there, body/look a bit like Taylor Swift's circa 2015 (maybe not everyones cup of tea but I thought she was stunning). We'd got in about 4am, I immediately made eye contact with this girl, she came over straight away knowing full well I liked her. She asked if I wanted a dance, I asked how much it was for an hour in the private area (IIRC it was like £100 or £120 to her plus buying a bottle of champagne) I proposed that I'd pay that amount and buy a bottle if we could have the private room until closing time (6am). My mate then made the same deal with a brunette girl and the tight git had apparently told her that he'd share my bottle so he ended up appearing from behind the curtain in the same private area a few minutes later!!!

Anyway, we got decent value, we'd essentially gone halves on the bottle (and we were quite drunk anyway) and each paid the equivalent of 5 or 6 dances - which is what we'd probably have spent sat in the regular area anyway - except we had our own little private area for nearly 2 hours for the price of 1 and pretty much as many dances as we wanted with the two girls. Turned out the blonde girl I'd picked had made over a grand already that night and couldn't be bothered hustling for £20 dances anymore/was more than happy to hang out with us until closing time. Anyway they were a lot of fun!

Additional thing - if you get in a taxi and they're taking you to a strip club you don't need to bother paying the taxi driver - obviously tell them in advance that you're not expecting to pay them but they'll generally be happy to take you to whichever club you want as they get commission from the clubs anyway. (don't ask them for or listen to their recommendations though, stick to the club you want to go to).

I've never seen a strip club in the UK with a coin jar being handed around hahaha! Here we don't really tip the stage girls. Only time I could see a tip is for a waitress, but with prices there you won't bother!

Strip pubs not strip clubs - there is a difference! It is more of a London thing.

The typical set up is there is a stage where the girls go up and do a show, before each girl goes up they walk around the pub with a pint glass and collect a pound off everyone. The drinks are a bit cheaper than the typical strip club and if you want to pay a girl for a dance it is conducted away from the main bar area.

In some London strip clubs you might well have a regular lap dance conducted where you're seated rather than in some private area and the private areas set aside just for people who are willing to buy a bottle of champagne and pay a fee for an hour with a girl. That certainly used to be the case with some of the clubs my workmates and I would occasionally go to when I was in my 20s - mostly Venus in Farringdon and Sophisticats. I did take a girl I was dating to the Windmill in Soho after we'd been to see a west end show, she was a dancer (proper dancer not stripper) and amusingly a girl she knew from her dance classes was working there - obvs we didn't pick her for a private dance but picked another girl and in that case we were lead away upstairs for it.
 
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I went to a strip club with friends once....

Pretty much I sat on a couch drinking and random girls approached me asking me if I wanted a private dance, I politely declined and some just chit chatted. Kinda like a normal bar I guess except all the women were half naked.....
 
Man of Honour
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I was about to say that I'm in the wrong line of business! - but then I realised that sitting and listening to someone I found annoying for more than five minutes is probably humanly impossible for me. :D

I bet there are plenty of people who pay crazy amounts just for the company.
 
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Set yourself a spending limit, don't get talked into the girls escorting you to the cash machine which they're very good at.
The one and only time I've ever been was when I was about 19, absolutely off my face. I got a private dance, got escorted to the cash machine in the club because I wanted another one, but my card got declined when i tried to spend 60 odd quid on a dance, 1 perk of being a broke student I guess :D

Haven't been back since
 
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I remember going to a place in London...think it was The Golden Axe. Can't remember which way round it was but it was either a strippers until 11-12pm then it turned in to some crazy country hoedown type affair. Or it started off as the hoedown then the strippers came out after all the country dancing was finished!
 
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I remember going to a place in London...think it was The Golden Axe. Can't remember which way round it was but it was either a strippers until 11-12pm then it turned in to some crazy country hoedown type affair. Or it started off as the hoedown then the strippers came out after all the country dancing was finished!

Golden Axe is a side-scrolling game for the SEGA series of consoles

Ye Olde Axe is a gentleman's establishment, based at 69 Hackney Road, and the only "hoedown" I've seen there had very little to do with country dancing.
 
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I'm telling ya....accordions, haybales, the lot

tbh memory is a bit sketchy....but it was definitely a live band, 90% sure it was country style music/dancing

the girls were a bit rough tho, can remember that....in comparison to the one other time I'd been to a strippers in Edinburgh
 
Soldato
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Last one I went to was far more relaxed regarding touching, in fact it was encouraged. They even give out free pens, I took a couple and gave the other one to Mrs. Feek :D

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Ah Harem club in Germany, so many memories. The ones full of eastern europeans are the best, 10/10s everywhere.
 
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