The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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Soldato
Yeah talk about over analysing. I think it's also an indicator of the way society is these days. Heaven forbid we might have a conversation with someone 
Yeah talk about over analysing. I think it's also an indicator of the way society is these days. Heaven forbid we might have a conversation with someone
People didn't used to have phone conversations before they'd met each other before. It's basically just about keeping things fresh and interesting, why spend 3 hours talking on the phone if you're then going to see each other and you've exhausted half the conversation before hand. You want to keep some mystery going into a date and you don't want to seem too available, you aren't making yourself more attractive by listening to her talk about mundane crap over the phone. If you happen to be super charismatic and an incredible story teller then a phone call might be great, you might get away with long chats like the other guy said in this thread and go on to marry her, but most of the time it's better to keep chats brief and have the conversations in person
Soldato
Twaddle really.
I'm going to try a little experiment. I have so far made contact and arranged to meet three people. Of those three, I'm only going to ring one of them prior to meeting and see if it makes any difference in terms of first impressions and flow of face-to-face conversation. I'll also ask them how they've been contacted in the past and what their preference is. Sod it, got nowt to lose.
Soldato
I love that your pursuit of a meaningful relationship has become a little social experiment instead
I love that your pursuit of a meaningful relationship has become a little social experiment instead
Hahaha, I concede that it does sound a little sociopathic, however nothing ventured etc etc
Hey all, I don't often peep in here but just thought i'd get the thoughts of you guys on a current sitch which is very early days.
Basically met a girl at a friends dinner party and we got on like a house on fire. I ended up asking her out the next day and we went on a date which went unbelievably well and we ended up spending 2 full days together near enough. We carried on seeing each other loads over a 2-3 week period then I had to come back to the UK for a week, which is now. Now we get on fabulously, have so much in common, have some mutual friends both here (and randomly back at home) and it just feels "right" - i've never dated someone and it been so free, uncomplicated and just easy being around her.
Now the kicker is she leaves to move away on a 3 month contract with her work this weekend (whilst im in the UK) and I was wondering if any of you guys have done the long-distance thing? Bare in mind this is Australia, she's a good 11 hour drive or 2-3 hour flight away but i've said i'd go and see her whilst shes out there to which she said she'd love but i've never done anything like this before and don't want to set expectations high. We will probs end up seeing each other 4-5 times id imagine over that period whilst shes away so its not like we're going to be going months and months without seeing each other.
We talk every day pretty much and I feel a lot for her and it feels like she does for me. I'll unfortunately miss her when I go back as I fly back from the UK on Sunday and she leaves for her contract on Sunday but I could technically fly out and see her for a weekend in a couple of weeks.
Has anything like this ever put any of you off pursuing a relationship? I actually really want to see what could happen between us and i guess i need to see where shes at with it all too but what would you guys do? Make plans and just go with the flow and see what happens?
Basically met a girl at a friends dinner party and we got on like a house on fire. I ended up asking her out the next day and we went on a date which went unbelievably well and we ended up spending 2 full days together near enough. We carried on seeing each other loads over a 2-3 week period then I had to come back to the UK for a week, which is now. Now we get on fabulously, have so much in common, have some mutual friends both here (and randomly back at home) and it just feels "right" - i've never dated someone and it been so free, uncomplicated and just easy being around her.
Now the kicker is she leaves to move away on a 3 month contract with her work this weekend (whilst im in the UK) and I was wondering if any of you guys have done the long-distance thing? Bare in mind this is Australia, she's a good 11 hour drive or 2-3 hour flight away but i've said i'd go and see her whilst shes out there to which she said she'd love but i've never done anything like this before and don't want to set expectations high. We will probs end up seeing each other 4-5 times id imagine over that period whilst shes away so its not like we're going to be going months and months without seeing each other.
We talk every day pretty much and I feel a lot for her and it feels like she does for me. I'll unfortunately miss her when I go back as I fly back from the UK on Sunday and she leaves for her contract on Sunday but I could technically fly out and see her for a weekend in a couple of weeks.
Has anything like this ever put any of you off pursuing a relationship? I actually really want to see what could happen between us and i guess i need to see where shes at with it all too but what would you guys do? Make plans and just go with the flow and see what happens?
Soldato
If it feels right go for it. One of my mates from school met a girl about 4 weeks before he moved to California for 3 years. They chatted online and she went over to visit him and he came home a few times a year. They're married now with a daughter.
I think things like Skype and Whatsapp makes long distance relationships a lot easier these days.
I think things like Skype and Whatsapp makes long distance relationships a lot easier these days.
Soldato
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I met my girlfriend in December on an app, on the first date she said she was going travelling in March which immediately set off alarm bells. Anyway, we got on really well and just played it by ear. She was away for about 4 months, but because of Whatsapp we messaged at least a little every day and stayed in contact. Given we'd only been dating 4 months before we went away, when she got back we were definitely more in sync and it was as if we'd been seeing each other 8 months rather than 4 months and another 4 of her being away.
So basically, as Marvt74 says above, if it feels right then go for it
I feel like it this was me I'd have called it off as 4 weeks is nothing! I'd definitely struggle to do the long term thing for years, 3 months should be a breeze though!
Soldato
Yeah i think everyone was pretty surprised by it. I think they knew each other during their PHD but it was only in the runup to him leaving that anything romantic happened.
I wound't worry about it, 3 months is no time, especially if you're going to visit her too.
Just put it in perspective, only a couple of generations our grand parents (or great grandparents) were in the middle of WW2... no internet and Skype back then, only letters. My Nana waited for years for my Grandfather, not knowing if he was still alive and only seeing him occasionally on leave.
You've got Skype, WhatsApp, chances to see her during those months... it's nothing, loads of people do long distance these days, it is easier than it has ever been and that's only a short time to have to do it for anyway.
Sounds like you've got a potentially good thing, you should definitely pursue it, see what happens and best of luck with it
I wouldn't go on a date (Internet dating etc) if I knew someone was that far away
But if I was in your position and met 'girl of my dreams' cliche then no harm in trying! its rare you get on with someone (well for me anyway) and if it does work out that's a massive statement about the strength of it.
If the girl is as good for you as you make out, go for it, you'll wonder 'what if' if not
But if I was in your position and met 'girl of my dreams' cliche then no harm in trying! its rare you get on with someone (well for me anyway) and if it does work out that's a massive statement about the strength of it.
If the girl is as good for you as you make out, go for it, you'll wonder 'what if' if not
Associate
Why don't you just meet in person instead, a phone call sounds too cautious
Edit: Oops I didn't see all the replies after
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Do you think you have a chance to woo her?
I hoping she's desperate and "wooing" on my part is kept to a minimum.
Permabanned
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Charm her is what I meant. lol