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Tonyabrhm · 7 Aug 2019 at 19:13

I'd recommend a dummy for young babies, dramatically reduces the risk of cot death.

Resident · 7 Aug 2019 at 19:29

Minibiker said:
@Resident Aww so cute... Glad he is well and like people have said they're little fighters so he will be just fine

Devrij said:
That's a winning smile, he looks like a resilient little guy

Thanks.

I nearly posted about it again just now. Things have been that hectic I'd forgotten I'd already posted.

So we had another appointment today for him with the neuro team. Essentially it was a waste of time because all they had to say was that they would be going over his MRI with a fine toothcomb and we''d get to know the next steps in OCTOBER.

I was a little peeved due to the fact that they brought his MRI forward a whole month, leading us to think that something was found in the ultrasound and it had become more urgent.

kinger8938 · 7 Aug 2019 at 19:39

NVP said:
We only used a dummy when my first was in nicu but that was to intice feeding as he was 3 months prem. We'd give him the dummy when we would feed him via tube (through his nose, poor monkey), so he'd learn to suck when his tummy was filling up. Once on the breast he didn't need it, but it helped him learn.

Other than that I don't think there is a need.

My new one sucks his thumb though, and settles himself so I can see the appeal, but I think it will be a hard habbit to break.

Some often give a dummy if the thumb comes in to play as I guess the dummy can be removed more easily than a thumb

I'm neither for or against them, it was fine with our first so if it comes to it we would try and balance it in the same way but no 2 are the same as we all know

theone8181 · 7 Aug 2019 at 19:56

Tonyabrhm said:
I'd recommend a dummy for young babies, dramatically reduces the risk of cot death.

First I've heard of it. (not meaning to sound dense here).

kinger8938 · 7 Aug 2019 at 21:32

theone8181 said:
First I've heard of it. (not meaning to sound dense here).

I don't know how dramatic of a reduction it truly is (if any) but it has been said to aid in the prevention of SIDS. Like most things relating to babies, some scientist has done an article on it at some point

nantucket66 · 7 Aug 2019 at 22:29

I'd love some advice, my little boy is 5 and a half. He is our only child. He is fun, happy, super outgoing and a really good laugh, he has had a great year in reception. Football on a Saturday morning, regularly swimming lessons, plenty of friends.

For everyone else (teachers, other relatives and friends, football and swimming coaches) he is as good as gold, does what he is asked to do without fuss or hassle, proper model child. For me and my other half he is proving to be an absolute nightmare at the moment.

Having to ask him half a dozen times to get him to brush his teeth or put his shoes on, fairly normal stuff. The other day he refused to brush his teeth and ran off to his room, tripped over en route, banged his head and he cut his head, nothing too serious thankfully, evening in A&E to get it glued up. I sometimes think it would be easier to be a hostage negotiator than get him out of the bath!

I threaten to take something off him that he loves or throw some sweets or something in the bin and I instantly regret it, if I don't follow through he'll remember for the next time, he has a brilliant memory for stuff and he's not daft. I put something in the bin today and he really started shouting and was verging on being aggressive, he grabbed my wrist and squeezed and I regretted throwing it in the bin as soon as I'd done it. I told him off the other day and he just laughed at me. Instead of taking something off him do we do a reward chart of some description?

He's clearly pushing boundaries to see what he can get away with and we almost think he's being super good and well behaved at school trying hard etc, then as soon as he's with us it's like a pressure valve being released.

He's not like this all the time, far from it, he's great most of the time and it's hopefully just a phase, but any tips on any alternative ways to talk him round, discipline him in a way that is fair and that he understands would be really appreciated.....

Thanks!

NVP · 7 Aug 2019 at 23:28

Don't take this anyway other than with love and to help.

Do you think you guys are giving him enough positive attention, even when he doesn't seek it? Is he getting enough mummy and daddy fun time as he used too?

NVP · 7 Aug 2019 at 23:47

kinger8938 said:
Some often give a dummy if the thumb comes in to play as I guess the dummy can be removed more easily than a thumb

I'm neither for or against them, it was fine with our first so if it comes to it we would try and balance it in the same way but no 2 are the same as we all know

Thanks for this, I might discuss it with the wifey. I was a thumb sucker, I remember still doing it in secret at school, and still have a callus (sp?) on my thumb from it and worried baby will be the same. I think it's where my habits came from so deffo a concern for me, don't know if warranted though.

nantucket66 · 8 Aug 2019 at 00:03

NVP said:
Don't take this anyway other than with love and to help.

Do you think you guys are giving him enough positive attention, even when he doesn't seek it? Is he getting enough mummy and daddy fun time as he used too?

Thanks for the reply, we have plenty of fun time with him, both together and individually, he possibly has more at the moment with it being school holidays. The 'floor is lava' was brilliant earlier.

I don't think we're lacking in giving him positive attention, but after reading that I think - I am giving him enough? I would have said yes. He's certainly loved, one of my friends passed comment the other day about how affectionate he is and his comment was 'that all starts at home mate'

NVP · 8 Aug 2019 at 00:27

Great to hear, a loved child is a happy child

not sure why he'd only act up on your two then, I'm afraid I've not got to this stage with mine yet so can't offer discipline advice, others will be able to I'm sure.

Keep on dadding how you are, you're doing great

toshj · 8 Aug 2019 at 09:14

Potentially have my 4.5 months old son on my own for 30 hours this weekend. My wife hasn't had a night off from him (or more than 3 hours sleep at a time) since he was born, and she's been building up to this hen do with a few of her friends who've also got young kids.

He's breastfed and loves it. We've been trying to get him on to bottle breast milk and also formula too, and whilst he's suspicious of it he only really lets my wife feed him. Kicks off if anyone else does. Goes absolutely mental in the night if he wakes up and the boob is there waiting for him (or his mum bottle feeding him).

Our plan was to take him to my parents and the three of us look after him for the weekend, but one of my parents is unwell and that plan is now out the window. I'm thinking about looking after him solo over the weekend, but my wife is really quite anxious about it. She's not looked after him for the night whilst alone in the flat - there's always been someone else there - so for the first time one of us is flying solo she is nervous about it being me!

There needs to come a time where I can look after him on his own.

NVP · 8 Aug 2019 at 11:06

As long as you are able to settle him if he is distress crying I don't see why there would be a problem looking after them solo

good luck!

toshj · 8 Aug 2019 at 11:46

NVP said:
As long as you are able to settle him if he is distress crying I don't see why there would be a problem looking after them solo good luck!

That's where the problem lies...

NVP · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:15

Get practicing! Haha

BigDannyO · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:20

nantucket66 said:
I'd love some advice, my little boy is 5 and a half. He is our only child. He is fun, happy, super outgoing and a really good laugh, he has had a great year in reception. Football on a Saturday morning, regularly swimming lessons, plenty of friends.

For everyone else (teachers, other relatives and friends, football and swimming coaches) he is as good as gold, does what he is asked to do without fuss or hassle, proper model child. For me and my other half he is proving to be an absolute nightmare at the moment.

Having to ask him half a dozen times to get him to brush his teeth or put his shoes on, fairly normal stuff. The other day he refused to brush his teeth and ran off to his room, tripped over en route, banged his head and he cut his head, nothing too serious thankfully, evening in A&E to get it glued up. I sometimes think it would be easier to be a hostage negotiator than get him out of the bath!

I threaten to take something off him that he loves or throw some sweets or something in the bin and I instantly regret it, if I don't follow through he'll remember for the next time, he has a brilliant memory for stuff and he's not daft. I put something in the bin today and he really started shouting and was verging on being aggressive, he grabbed my wrist and squeezed and I regretted throwing it in the bin as soon as I'd done it. I told him off the other day and he just laughed at me. Instead of taking something off him do we do a reward chart of some description?

He's clearly pushing boundaries to see what he can get away with and we almost think he's being super good and well behaved at school trying hard etc, then as soon as he's with us it's like a pressure valve being released.

He's not like this all the time, far from it, he's great most of the time and it's hopefully just a phase, but any tips on any alternative ways to talk him round, discipline him in a way that is fair and that he understands would be really appreciated.....

Thanks!

My boy is the same age and to be honest you have described him perfectly too. I guess "They all do that sir"! As you say he's just pushing boundaries, possibly combined with a growth or testosterone spurt.

We deal with him in the same way as you do, normally with a clear consequence followed by a countdown from five.

One thing I've been actively trying recently that seems to be working is instead of telling him what not to do, tell him what he should be doing. Like instead of "stop standing on your chair at the dinner table" I'd say "sit your bum on the chair at the dinner table". It's a subtle difference but so far has had good results.

NVP · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:21

BigDannyO said:
One thing I've been actively trying recently that seems to be working is instead of telling him what not to do, tell him what he should be doing. Like instead of "stop standing on your chair at the dinner table" I'd say "sit your bum on the chair at the dinner table". It's a subtle difference but so far has had good results.

Very good!

Threepwood · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:24

BigDannyO said:
possibly combined with a growth or testosterone spurt.

It wont be a testosterone spurt at 5, but in both boys and girls part of their adrenal glands mature around this age, which equally make sense if you think about it!

NiCkNaMe · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:25

toshj said:
Potentially have my 4.5 months old son on my own for 30 hours this weekend. My wife hasn't had a night off from him (or more than 3 hours sleep at a time) since he was born, and she's been building up to this hen do with a few of her friends who've also got young kids.

He's breastfed and loves it. We've been trying to get him on to bottle breast milk and also formula too, and whilst he's suspicious of it he only really lets my wife feed him. Kicks off if anyone else does. Goes absolutely mental in the night if he wakes up and the boob is there waiting for him (or his mum bottle feeding him).

Our plan was to take him to my parents and the three of us look after him for the weekend, but one of my parents is unwell and that plan is now out the window. I'm thinking about looking after him solo over the weekend, but my wife is really quite anxious about it. She's not looked after him for the night whilst alone in the flat - there's always been someone else there - so for the first time one of us is flying solo she is nervous about it being me!

There needs to come a time where I can look after him on his own.

Just do it, he'll be fine. It's one night... he'll eventually take the formula once he's hungry enough. If she can, possibly express and use that overnight. If you're really struggling to settle, get the pram out, or put him in the car seat and go for a drive until he falls asleep, then grab half hour yourself.

Worst case, you're in for a rough/tiring weekend, but it's one weekend - just get your head down and crack on!

BigDannyO · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:30

Threepwood said:
It wont be a testosterone spurt at 5, but in both boys and girls part of their adrenal glands mature around this age, which equally make sense if you think about it!

Interesting, thanks. And yes it absolutely does make sense!

toshj · 8 Aug 2019 at 12:55

NiCkNaMe said:
Just do it, he'll be fine. It's one night... he'll eventually take the formula once he's hungry enough. If she can, possibly express and use that overnight. If you're really struggling to settle, get the pram out, or put him in the car seat and go for a drive until he falls asleep, then grab half hour yourself.

Worst case, you're in for a rough/tiring weekend, but it's one weekend - just get your head down and crack on!

I'm much less concerned about myself - I don't mind not sleeping the whole weekend - it's more that it's the complete opposite of everything we've done so far. Don't mind jumping in at the deep end, just want to make sure the kid is OK.