**The Mental Health Thread**

[MOOGLEYS]

Prednisolone can cause some odd side effects indeed, and with your natural anxiety those side effects could possibly be exaggerated. Cipralex is a good choice, perhaps when you've tapered off the former you'll naturally feel better, if not, pregabalin can be an effective booster.

None of it is easy and it's definitely a time thing, things will get better, best of luck with everything

I have been fine on it before but since my surgery in March I’m having more issues coming off it. My Dr thinks it’s my body chemistry that’s out of balance since surgery and as I now have a stoma my absorption is all out of whack. This is apparently why even small adjustments have big effects now. They wanted me of the Pred before surgery but I had to have emergency surgery in the end as it got too bad. I have seen an Endocrinologist which tbh was a bit rushed but he said I need to keep going at the reduction very slowly and it will take a long time and I should expect some setbacks. Once I get down to 6mg oral he will look at swapping to a short acting one.

Thanks just need to give it all some time I think..

 

[LuckyBenski]

A reminder that medical advice is banned on the forums so be careful about medication details

 

[MOOGLEYS]

Think im getting a cold too now which never helps the Anxiety.... Roll on summer..... lol

 

["andy"]

I've been doing very very well recently. New job/career that I enjoy which was always a big problem of mine. Things going well in relationship etc. Tapered off meds in September and still been feeling great.

This week has been hell though. Massive anxiety building upto yesterday and i thought I'd got through ok but then today the Mrs had to have a chat with me about how 'off' I was being . Now there's a million thoughts in my mind and instead of meeting old friends tonight Ive made my excuses and locked myself away.

I atleast realise this is probably temporary but it's a big kick in the teeth . Roll on the new year

 

[Vidar]

@"andy" I've been off my meds for 4 years now but still have my really low times occasionally. Today is one of those days for me to and I'm not sure what's triggered me. I'll get passed it once I'm home again and in my comfort zone, hopefully you'll start feeling better soon pal...

 

[JBeck]

I have been fine on it before but since my surgery in March I’m having more issues coming off it. My Dr thinks it’s my body chemistry that’s out of balance since surgery and as I now have a stoma my absorption is all out of whack. This is apparently why even small adjustments have big effects now. They wanted me of the Pred before surgery but I had to have emergency surgery in the end as it got too bad. I have seen an Endocrinologist which tbh was a bit rushed but he said I need to keep going at the reduction very slowly and it will take a long time and I should expect some setbacks. Once I get down to 6mg oral he will look at swapping to a short acting one.

Thanks just need to give it all some time I think..

He's right, reduction is about just that, reducing things, slowly, and in time, things will get better. I say this from a personal and professional view.
Again best of luck, I know it may seem futile right now (or not) but everything will work out.

P.s. If you're struggling please message me, it's what I do.

 

[JBeck]

Ok, mods feel free to delete, as I'm aware that 'medical' advice on this forum is prohibited.

I work for the NHS in children's services (CAMHS) but I also cover for adult access and now adult crisis.

I'm no 'pro' by any means but I've been through it all and I do the job I do because of my experiences, and because I give a ****.

What I would say is that there is help, 24/7, for anyone that needs it, we are here for you because some of us actually care.

I can direct anyone to the appropriate services if you're not sure where to go.

Hope this is ok (mods).

 

[MOOGLEYS]

Thanks justbeats that’s really kind of you. Just trying to push through this steroid dose change and hopefully things will level out.

 

[Vidar]

@justbeats that's really nice of you mate and good to know!

 

[One More Solo]

I seem to have spent the last 10 days vacillating between extreme anxiety and depression. The anxiety has been the bigger presence. Falling back into old habits of exhausting myself physically then adding a few drinks on top until I’m sufficiently tranquillised to manage it.

I find myself looking at 2020 and wondering how I will get through it. I just seem to have lost sight of my purpose and what I actually take satisfaction from in life.

I really don’t want to but suspect it’s back on the meds in January.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Well, it was nice while it lasted. Normally hate Christmas but this year I had a relatively easy time. Not much stress or negativity, family didn't pressure me to see them, etc. Had a few nice evenings with some friends and their kids over the break. Now it's nearly the end of the break and normal depression has set back in. Haven't got much done with my free time, relationship and home life are strained, don't like going outside.

Was and still am determined to do things differently in 2020, but this very moment I would happily curl up and disappear.

 

[MOOGLEYS]

Same for me at moment really feel bloody awful. Spent most of the day trying to work out what’s going on which tbh has probably made it worse. I hate not really having a clue if it’s meds, something else or just the Anxiety/depression deciding it’s time for a flare up.

Hopefully 2020 will bring us all better times....

 

[Nitefly]

***Warning - waffle alert!!!***

(I would write this more coherently and/or better, but, ya know)

For what it’s worth, I think my own anxiety is caused by the fact I’ve lived my life too cautiously and have ‘succeeded’ by never allowing myself to make mistakes, so I am terrified of making them because I haven’t learnt that life will ‘just be ok’. This is partly fuelled by my loving but overprotective parents and the drilling in of utter rubbish such as “if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say it”, “be careful”, “don’t be ungrateful”, “good people don’t get angry”, “you must always try to be a good person”.

The fear of mistakes makes me constantly second guess myself. What do I want? I don’t know. Am I being a wimp? Should I dramatically change what I’m doing? I love my friends and I like my job but I’m still worried and therefore it doesn’t feel right and something must all be wrong - am I wasting my time?! What if it’s not all ok!?!

Therefore my present day anxiety is a build up from decades of wanting to just go “**** it” - dump the partner, quit the job, punch the person in the face. All that behaviour that the cautious mind perceives as being ‘self-destructive’ but actually, it isn’t, at all. Exercising that ‘self-destructive’ side is called exercising your right to do what you want to do, taking **** from nobody, being yourself and putting yourself and your needs first (rather than being commanded by social expectation).

Being ‘nice’ is such a dreadful waste of energy - it’s exhausting. You can spend 100% less energy and still be lovable. Try it. Start small. It doesn’t have to be a case of instantly going nuclear. Don’t leave a tip. Don’t ask how people are at the coffee point. After a while, you start standing up for yourself and saying thinks like “no, this is not acceptable” - and people start listening.

You can’t go backwards and dump / punch all those people, shout back at your family or go back and quit your job. But you can live going forwards taking stock that your anxiety / tension is a combination of the build up of the ‘unexpressed part of yourself’ magnifying the need to do ‘reckless things’ and your over-sensitive ‘play it safe drive’ being your default mode.

Also, “What if it’s not OK?!” is literally the most stupid exercise ever - you feel all the pain as if everything terrible has happened when it hasn’t, necessarily. It’s sort of akin to worrying about ghosts in the graveyard. You experience all the horror of the ghosts as if they were actually real, without ever actually experiencing the ghosts. That thinking is, again, just a culmination of the mind being hardwired to be sceptical and a result of suppressing the reckless part of yourself that never sees the light of day.

Just a few last bits in my waffly post:

a) Life is best when what you are thinking comes straight out of your mouth. It’s just the truth, no matter how self-destructive it might seem (within some reason). Things unexpressed dominate the mind. I especially find this in relationships. I have said things to my parter that most people would think were absolutely outrageous - but, ya know what, toppling over the temple every once in a while means you can actually start to heal. All that matters is whether you both have the courage and desire to work it out. What true freedom saying what you think actually is!!!

b) You can never be happy thinking about the future or thinking about your past. You simply ‘catch yourself’ being happy like, “huh, oh yeah!” - this happens when you stop being a self absorbed nob and actually become present and enjoy the things right in front of you. Right now, I’m giving my cat a lovely fuss and she’s purring away. Honestly, it’s wonderful - what a treat



In the context of my relationship - I don’t experience happiness when thinking about the future, that’s just all too contingent. Laughs come from attacking her with a towel or when she unexpectedly delivers me a cup of tea with a slice of bread in it. Just stupid, playful ****. Honestly, nothing is better than just playing in the moment. But if you are too busy worrying you’re just going to miss it all. DON’T worry about that... just try and enjoy more moments going forwards.

I should add, that doesn’t ‘fix existing pain’ but what I’m trying to say is don’t let what drags you down contaminate and/or miss out on all the little things.

c) Your brain is gets hardwired when it experiences ‘desire -> satiation’. Your body just wants to live in that sensation and everything else compared to that sensation seems rubbish. This is why we get obsessed with romantic fantasies/people and also get addicted to things like gambling, porn, drink and food. So, to break that cycle you have to force yourself to. All your desires and needs in this regard are total rubbish and a result of ‘negative’ feedback loops in your head living in this state of ‘cheap/fickle’ joy. It is somewhat laughable when you realise that the things you have perceived to be ‘true’ and have caused great pain are destroyed in an instant by the realisation you are being a total boob

Those realisations, which I think are pretty spot on for me personally, give me a little bit of comfort, so maybe that will help someone else too

 

[Jasoncmor]

Does anyone else feel like this?

Its only really become clear to me more recently, but when the nights draw in and the colder weather hits, I find that I lose motivation do most things, and I almost hibernate, wanting to do something, knowing I have things I need to do, and somehow just do the bare minimum of tasks, then as soon as spring / summer hit, I am straight back outside doing different things, i'm more motivated and get loads of things done.
I get frustrated and impatient that i'm not doing the things I want to do, and lack the energy, but as soon as the sun comes out, I am raring to go again.

Apologies if this is in the wrong thread, I am unsure if it belongs in here, or in its own thread.

 

[Armageus]

Does anyone else feel like this?

Its only really become clear to me more recently, but when the nights draw in and the colder weather hits, I find that I lose motivation do most things, and I almost hibernate, wanting to do something, knowing I have things I need to do, and somehow just do the bare minimum of tasks, then as soon as spring / summer hit, I am straight back outside doing different things, i'm more motivated and get loads of things done.
I get frustrated and impatient that i'm not doing the things I want to do, and lack the energy, but as soon as the sun comes out, I am raring to go again.

Apologies if this is in the wrong thread, I am unsure if it belongs in here, or in its own thread.

Definitely and sounds like S.A.D (Seasonal affective disorder). Everyone experiences winter blues to some degree, but if you really struggle with it, it's worth discussing with your G.P.

 

[pumaz]

I’ve never really spoken to anyone about my problems accept for my wife and even then not much. But I’m getting pretty desperate now! At worst I can feel as though I’m drowning in a dark pool I can’t escape and death becomes a tempting option. At best I lack motivation to get stuff done or climb out of the rut I’m in. The only thing that saves me at the moment is Cycling, I do love it and believe the exercise makes me better than I otherwise might be.

I kind of feel down, worthless, tired, depressed, anxious. I struggle with maintaining friendships as I’m always thinking people don’t like me, I try to control these feelings by seeing myself as if from 3rd person view but then I start over thinking things. I’ve never spoke to a doctor about this as I don’t think they’ll believe me and just think I’m jumping on the mental health bandwagon.

The most important thing for me at the moment is to find motivation and energy to get the stuff I absolutely need to get done and to feel more alive. The cycling helps but I come down from that natural high pretty quickly especially this time of year!

Is there anything I can do or take to help?

I’ve posted here because this is the only place I’m known as pumaz and I’m pretty embarrassed about my problems.

Thanks

 

[LuckyBenski]

I’ve posted here because this is the only place I’m known as pumaz and I’m pretty embarrassed about my problems.

No need for embarrassment here, we're in this for support and to share.

I’ve never spoke to a doctor about this as I don’t think they’ll believe me and just think I’m jumping on the mental health bandwagon.

That's the thing - it's not a bandwagon, it really does affect almost all of us to some degree. We're (science and us as people) realising that it's a very genuine part of day to day health in the modern age.

Well done for identifying that exercise and a hobby keeps you afloat. It's a common thing. I'm sure I do better when I get exercise but I can't seem to motivate myself. I would say don't be afraid to see your doctor as yes there are things you can do to address this, in terms of behaviours as well as treatments/medication. At least if everyone is going to the GP for help now, they'll be well positioned to help you

 

[Vidar]

@pumaz Pal try not to be embarrassed, there's really nothing to be ashamed of. You're not weak or worthless or any of that stuff, that's just what we're made to think we are. Definitely speak to your GP he or she might understand or they might not but they're duty bound to help and can put you on the right path. Whether that's meds or counselling or a combination of the two, what I would suggest though is if you can afford private counselling then go for it, the NHS ones as good as they are can take up to 6 months to become available in places.

 

[pumaz]

Thanks for the help guys, i think i need to bite the bullet and see a doctor, i can't carry on like this, it's not a recent thing, I've felt like this all my life but it's intensified over the last 10 years or so (I'm 51)

 

[Ayahuasca]

I’d ask the doctor if you could get a testosterone test. 40-50 is usually where men really start to feel the effects from low T.