So... We are considering fostering...

[firstborn]

This sounds fantastic, I applaud you OP. Like others have said it'll complicate things in your household but as long as you're aware of that fact and are prepared to deal with the complications there's no reason it shouldn't work out fine.

Good luck with it, please keep us posted with your progress, I'd love to see first hand what it all involves.



You can understand why though, with a planet full of dicks and scumbags every precaution needs to be taken to ensure that the child doesn't end up with a family who don't give him/her the care he needs. I'd rather an overzealous system than have kids end up in families who don't treat them well tbh.

And also sadly people simply do it for the money. When I started down the route to becoming a foster carer I didnt even know that I'd be paid.

 

[!bluetonic!]

I tip my hat to the OP.

I couldn't do this. I have two biological daughters and want the best for them; life, holidays, education and selfishly, don't need / want to spread this over more children.

My parents did this and me and my brother had two older foster sisters growing up. I didn't know any different.

I've never had the conversation with them about their reasons for doing so. This past can remain there.

All I know is that some people will be great at doing this and accept the baggage that foster kids may bring. And I'm not one of those people.

 

[Tealc]

We fostered for around 5 years.

The process took about 18 months despite 6 months being mentioned as normal. So many hoops to jump through and full history of where you've lived, everywhere you worked etc. Some very personal questions asked and answers provided. We were held up because we'd moved around a bit over the years. It was also held up because the borough where my wife worked at 19 years ( we were into our 40s at the time) were slow to respond that they had no issues.

All children apart from 3 had real issues and loads of baggage. We had 17 kids placed with us all told. Most at one time was 3.

Overall looking after the kids was fine, mostly but dealing with all the professionals was a real bind.

Money was decent and tax free and we were able to claim benefit including housing and council tax benefits while earning fairly good money, although to be fair the kids did come with expenses and we did spoil them quite a bit. We didn't just do it for the money but doing it as a main job did afford some freedoms, which was great at the time.

Our own kids didn't really get on with the foster kids though as by the time we got placements they were 13 and 11 and we had basically babies. We did however, along the way, get a 16 year old, a 9 and 11 year old placed for short periods and they integrated quite well.

My wife has been wanting to go back to it again but I'm not sure as I now work full time and the thought of working all day and then coming home and working some more doesn't particularly excite me.

We fostered for an agency rather than local authority. There was a big difference in money at the time but that may have changed now.

 

[Diddums]

We fostered for around 5 years.

The process took about 18 months despite 6 months being mentioned as normal. So many hoops to jump through and full history of where you've lived, everywhere you worked etc. Some very personal questions asked and answers provided. We were held up because we'd moved around a bit over the years. It was also held up because the borough where my wife worked at 19 years ( we were into our 40s at the time) were slow to respond that they had no issues.

All children apart from 3 had real issues and loads of baggage. We had 17 kids placed with us all told. Most at one time was 3.

Overall looking after the kids was fine, mostly but dealing with all the professionals was a real bind.

Money was decent and tax free and we were able to claim benefit including housing and council tax benefits while earning fairly good money, although to be fair the kids did come with expenses and we did spoil them quite a bit.

Our own kids didn't really get on with the foster kids though as by the time we got placements they were 13 and 11 and we had basically babies. We did however, along the way, get a 16 year old, a 9 and 11 year old placed for short periods and they integrated quite well.

My wife has been wanting to go back to it again but I'm not sure as I now work full time and the thought of working all day and then coming home and working some more doesn't particularly excite me.

We fostered for an agency rather than local authority. There was a big difference in money at the time but that may have changed now.

I may be misreading this completely but your whole posts screams "we did it for profit" which is of course completely wrong.


EDIT: Having just read through your post again, even asking my wife to confirm my beliefs, you should not be allowed to look after any children who clearly need a loving environment.

 

[Transform_IT]

I may be misreading this completely but your whole posts screams "we did it for profit" which is of course completely wrong.


EDIT: Having just read through your post again, even asking my wife to confirm my beliefs, you should not be allowed to look after any children who clearly need a loving environment.

See, I read this differently. I read that it was difficult for his own children to integrate with some of the foster kids and that the real hard work was when they had to deal with the social workers etc. But, the children they fostered were loved, cared for and spoilt. This happened due to them both being able to commit to it full time, which was was made possible thanks to the salary, benefits and tax relief. Now he is working full time, he can't commit to fostering, as it wouldn't be fair to the kids or his own family, therefore he doesn't wan to do it again. If he was a greedy, money-hungry pig, he'd do both and not care about the children.

 

[JBuk]

I may be misreading this completely but your whole posts screams "we did it for profit" which is of course completely wrong.


EDIT: Having just read through your post again, even asking my wife to confirm my beliefs, you should not be allowed to look after any children who clearly need a loving environment.

Money is paid for the maintenance of the child and also a fee is paid to the carer , this is paid by the authority. So in essence they are happy for people to foster to earn money or "profit" , if somebody is using their time to care for a child and providing a stable and safe environment then why shouldn’t they also earn a little?

 

[Tealc]

We went into it to look after and care for disadvantaged children but did need sufficient income to support a larger house and our own children. One important point is the omission of the fact we spent most of the money on the kids with days trips, holidays and activities so didn't profit from the whole process but we did need to pay extra rent on a larger home and to keep our own kids fed and clothed. I'd also edited the post as it was more about our experience rather than the actual process.

We also considered local authority fostering after we left the agency but while we were all for it, it was our own kids that didn't want it to go forward as they felt we focussed on the foster kids too much. So we had to call it a day.

So yes we needed the money as we could not have done the job without it at the time. Fostering is not adoption. You are there to care and provide a loving family environment for (mainly) disadvantaged kids while social services find a more permanent, and probably cheaper solution for their long term care. You have to integrate with parents, doctors, health visitors, social workers etc.

Kids also move on and you then have to deal with never seeing them again, or hearing about them ever again....this is hard. I still dream about them occasionally and wonder what they are doing. After our first 9 month placement my wife couldn't function for a few days after they went to grandparents. Our last placement ended within 6 hours as they had identified a local authority carer and not told us. We picked them up from school said our goodbyes and they were gone.

Our placements lasted between 2 days and 3 years, between 10 days and 16 years old.

17 kids who were better off going back into the scary outside word than they were when they arrived. A job well done I think.

So yes a very rewarding career option if you have the patience and ability to share your family environment with other people's children. So much so my father in law still fosters well into his retirement, although that's a long term placement with no parent contact.

 

[~Divine~Wind~]

Hi guys,

So, this Christmas me and the wife sat down and discussed the potential of increasing our family size. We currently have two biological daughters aged 6 & 7. We have a good size 4-bed detached house and would like to extend this home and the love within it, to less fortunate children who need that stability and support. We spoke about having a baby and adoption, but when reading into fostering, we believe we would get more out of it by helping others. My wife grandparents fostered for 30 years and they would often share stories of their experiences and the many children that past through their doors. I know it's not a simple and quick process and there is a lot to think about. But, its still early days and we are only in the enquiry stages.

We are waiting to hear back from our local agency/foster group and will see how that goes. In the meantime, I was wondering if anybody could share any information surrounding the process and what we are to expect - or any relevant and useful information.

Many thanks,

T_IT.

Go for it mate

We've adopted already and are looking to fostering as well

let us knwo how it goes