**The Mental Health Thread**

[FishLicker]

I'm not sure if this is down to the current pandemic, it certainly isn't helping, but I am feeling a bit lost right now. All of the hobbies and interests that used to excite me and fill me with wonder no longer do anything for me. I workout 5 times a week but that's more lifestyle than a pure hobby like it used to be. I keep searching for the next thing that will spark my passion but draw blanks. I keep buying things thinking they will give me enjoyment, only to return them.

I used to wake up in the morning and get pumped to hit the gym, or I couldn't wait to finish work and do some PC gaming.

I'm probably just a bit burnt out with each day just feeling the same, not a lot to get excited about.

Can anyone else related?

Yep.

Work in IT so appetite to play games after sitting at a computer all day is much diminished.

My daily walks to the office and back are long dead and rubbish weather and repetition has put an end to most exercise. Moved to a smaller house so no longer have my big barbell, rack etc and now just a pair of dumbbells. Result - gained 1.5 stone in 9 months (not muscle either).

The sameness of every day and the fact my job has turned into a more remote based, largely admin role means I don't enjoy that as much now. Result - no motivation.

Still, I have a nice house, am not skint, don't have covid, and plenty of toys so it feels wrong to complain too much, but life does seem to have more of the joy sucked out of it these days.

 

[Scottland]

Yep.

Work in IT so appetite to play games after sitting at a computer all day is much diminished.

My daily walks to the office and back are long dead and rubbish weather and repetition has put an end to most exercise. Moved to a smaller house so no longer have my big barbell, rack etc and now just a pair of dumbbells. Result - gained 1.5 stone in 9 months (not muscle either).

The sameness of every day and the fact my job has turned into a more remote based, largely admin role means I don't enjoy that as much now. Result - no motivation.

Still, I have a nice house, am not skint, don't have covid, and plenty of toys so it feels wrong to complain too much, but life does seem to have more of the joy sucked out of it these days.

I can relate to a lot of that. Recently my appetite to spend some time gaming has returned a little, I started off by playing some older games that I used to love, and I think the nostalgia must have kicked it off (I started with C&C Remastered).

I sometimes try to work from different places at home to try and give myself a change of scenery. Like 'sofa fridays' where I binge something on netflix whilst clearing out my emails etc.

 

[Bassmansam]

I sometimes try to work from different places at home to try and give myself a change of scenery. Like 'sofa fridays' where I binge something on netflix whilst clearing out my emails etc.

how can you concentrate on both at the same time?

 

[Ayahuasca]

how can you concentrate on both at the same time?

If it's purely emailing all day then it shouldn't be too difficult.

I had to knock working from the living room on the head though. Too easy to stick a podcast or show on and then catch yourself watching it for 10-15 minutes before snapping back to work.

Even music, I can only listen to stuff without lyrics otherwise I can't concentrate on reading something.

 

[Scottland]

how can you concentrate on both at the same time?

I guess it depends on what you're doing at work. I spend most of the time in evenings watching telly whilst on my ipad or something, it's not really any different. That being said, if I'm doing something that needs my complete attention etc it's not a good idea...

 

[Bassmansam]

If it's purely emailing all day then it shouldn't be too difficult.

I had to knock working from the living room on the head though. Too easy to stick a podcast or show on and then catch yourself watching it for 10-15 minutes before snapping back to work.

Even music, I can only listen to stuff without lyrics otherwise I can't concentrate on reading something.

but if your writing/ reading an email your not focusing on the show and you will lose the plot. Seems silly to me.

 

[Ayahuasca]

but if your writing/ reading an email your not focusing on the show and you will lose the plot. Seems silly to me.

I mean I can't speak for Scottland but it's usually something that doesn't require 100% attention, like a daft TV show you've seen before.

I wouldn't try and watch Game of Thrones or something whilst trying to work

 

[Scottland]

I mean I can't speak for Scottland but it's usually something that doesn't require 100% attention, like a daft TV show you've seen before.

I wouldn't try and watch Game of Thrones or something whilst trying to work

Yeah exactly, maybe not something everyone can do. But the point I was trying to make is just to try and give yourself a change of scenery

 

[Frubeling]

Always a difficult time of year for me. Is 8, maybe 9 (I kinda can't remember exactly) years too long to still be hurting over a breakup? I feel like it very well may be, but every January the thought of it leaves me feeling exceptionally low

 

[FishLicker]

I can relate to a lot of that. Recently my appetite to spend some time gaming has returned a little, I started off by playing some older games that I used to love, and I think the nostalgia must have kicked it off (I started with C&C Remastered).

I sometimes try to work from different places at home to try and give myself a change of scenery. Like 'sofa fridays' where I binge something on netflix whilst clearing out my emails etc.

Funnily enough, I've been playing HL2 Update on steam recently. Forgot how good it was. I also have work days on the sofa. Sometimes it helps. I even worked the morning from bed the other day.

 

[helpimcrap]

Fair to say my mental health has taken a bit of a beating since covid started. It has allowed me to develop fantastically but I've had crap to go with it.

Yesterday holding a patients hand, who was on end of life, and talking to them for a couple of hours until they slept. They were choking at times, struggling to breathe, but eventually peaceful and I was asked to keep them company so they weren't alone when they passed. I tried to make their final moments dignified and nice. They passed 30mins later.

Then today I was told by another patient I'd helped them so much, did I do private work, because I should as I was so good and nice.

My job goes to both extremes a lot.

 

[ScotchHop]

I'm working more than ever. I'm kind of jealous of you guys at home. I guess my life hasn't changed since Covid. I workout, cycle to work, work, come home and game. I was doing this for years anyway. Sad eh? I feel for the guys that are living in so much fear.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Fair to say my mental health has taken a bit of a beating since covid started. It has allowed me to develop fantastically but I've had crap to go with it.

Yesterday holding a patients hand, who was on end of life, and talking to them for a couple of hours until they slept. They were choking at times, struggling to breathe, but eventually peaceful and I was asked to keep them company so they weren't alone when they passed. I tried to make their final moments dignified and nice. They passed 30mins later.

Then today I was told by another patient I'd helped them so much, did I do private work, because I should as I was so good and nice.

My job goes to both extremes a lot.

Username does not check out. Kudos :fist bump:

 

[helpimcrap]

Username does not check out. Kudos :fist bump:

Cheers :fist bump: . I spend a lot of time around broken people, trying to rehabilitate them and it's tough to keep momentum going when I have a changing mix of patients every day and every day it's more and more medical patients because of covid. Broken bones are simpler to sort whereas people with respiratory problems take more time, which increases risks in the current climate. Every patient is on such a fine line between life and death we come into deaths every day.

 

[Psymonkee]

Still struggling. Mood all over the place, sleeping 12 - 18 hours a day and generally not having a good time. Increase in meds so we'll see if that helps.

 

[youdsy]

Right I need some help here.

I’ve suffered with mental health most of my life. I’ve had a lot of problems down below since I was 12. I’m 29 soon. I’ve bottled that up all my life which has had a profound effect on me as a person as you can imagine. Been riddled with low self esteem, low confidence, anxiety and a general poor outlook on life with little to no motivation or enjoyment in life.

I’ve done well for myself despite all this. I’ve never had a girlfriend until I met a girl in 2015. I was with her for 5 years until last year when I decided to leave her. She adored me and worshipped the ground I walked on. Very difficult having problems down below and trying to keep that a secret from her. Made me feel very bad about myself. Pushed her away a lot during the relationship as you can imagine.


Having said that, it wasnt the only reason I left in March 2020. In august 2019 I was viciously assaulted for no good reason. Some A hole kicked a door in my face which struck me in the left eyebrow and blew a whole in my face. The issue I have down below was flaring up around that time. Two weeks before it happened I said to myself ‘oh well, at least you don’t have a scar on your face. At least you can pretend To be normal’, after noticing the issue down below was flaring up.

since then I’ve had an operation to correct the scar. Around that time it really hit me what had happened to me and I went into a deep dark depression, panic attacks, crying episodes, riddled with debilitating anxiety and generally felt that i can’t cope/exist in this world anymore. I convinced myself she was better off without me and being with someone normal. I felt like a fraud throughout my relationship with her. But with what happened to my face I felt I could no longer keep up the act any longer. I convinced myself that I had to be on my own. I lost so much weight and gave up on life really. I love her very self much and this reality hit me a couple of months later. I opened up to her and family about everything. The problems down below included. We were back together in the summer planning to do it all, baby, house etc but I found out she’d been seeing someone and never stopped really. Lied to me and played games with me when I was so low and vulnerable. She’s with that boy now. He was with me when my face was blown open aswell which hurts.

I’m convinced I have PTSD from it all. Awful dreams, socially reclusive, can’t look myself in the mirror or others in the eye etc. I crash a lot and yo-yo emotionally till I stabilise then inevitably crash once again.
I’m back in work at the moment. I work at sea and my mind is just not what it was with work. I can’t think properly, I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing anymore and feel very hopeless and lost.

I’m just very sad and lost at the moment. I’ve lost so much these last 12-18 months and I’m really not coping with it all.
I’m afraid of losing my job but I wouldn’t blame them for getting rid as I’m just no use to anyone with my issues. If I did lose my job, those boys who assaulted me would have taken everything from me and I don’t think I could carry in if that was the case.

Life is cruel. I’ve suffered most of my life with my issues down below and to then be scarred for life on my face has tipped me over the edge.

please if anyone can give me some help/advice I’d appreciate it

 

[Predator]

Right I need some help here.

I’ve suffered with mental health most of my life. I’ve had a lot of problems down below since I was 12. I’m 29 soon. I’ve bottled that up all my life which has had a profound effect on me as a person as you can imagine. Been riddled with low self esteem, low confidence, anxiety and a general poor outlook on life with little to no motivation or enjoyment in life.

I’ve done well for myself despite all this. I’ve never had a girlfriend until I met a girl in 2015. I was with her for 5 years until last year when I decided to leave her. She adored me and worshipped the ground I walked on. Very difficult having problems down below and trying to keep that a secret from her. Made me feel very bad about myself. Pushed her away a lot during the relationship as you can imagine.


Having said that, it wasnt the only reason I left in March 2020. In august 2019 I was viciously assaulted for no good reason. Some A hole kicked a door in my face which struck me in the left eyebrow and blew a whole in my face. The issue I have down below was flaring up around that time. Two weeks before it happened I said to myself ‘oh well, at least you don’t have a scar on your face. At least you can pretend To be normal’, after noticing the issue down below was flaring up.

since then I’ve had an operation to correct the scar. Around that time it really hit me what had happened to me and I went into a deep dark depression, panic attacks, crying episodes, riddled with debilitating anxiety and generally felt that i can’t cope/exist in this world anymore. I convinced myself she was better off without me and being with someone normal. I felt like a fraud throughout my relationship with her. But with what happened to my face I felt I could no longer keep up the act any longer. I convinced myself that I had to be on my own. I lost so much weight and gave up on life really. I love her very self much and this reality hit me a couple of months later. I opened up to her and family about everything. The problems down below included. We were back together in the summer planning to do it all, baby, house etc but I found out she’d been seeing someone and never stopped really. Lied to me and played games with me when I was so low and vulnerable. She’s with that boy now. He was with me when my face was blown open aswell which hurts.

I’m convinced I have PTSD from it all. Awful dreams, socially reclusive, can’t look myself in the mirror or others in the eye etc. I crash a lot and yo-yo emotionally till I stabilise then inevitably crash once again.
I’m back in work at the moment. I work at sea and my mind is just not what it was with work. I can’t think properly, I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing anymore and feel very hopeless and lost.

I’m just very sad and lost at the moment. I’ve lost so much these last 12-18 months and I’m really not coping with it all.
I’m afraid of losing my job but I wouldn’t blame them for getting rid as I’m just no use to anyone with my issues. If I did lose my job, those boys who assaulted me would have taken everything from me and I don’t think I could carry in if that was the case.

Life is cruel. I’ve suffered most of my life with my issues down below and to then be scarred for life on my face has tipped me over the edge.

please if anyone can give me some help/advice I’d appreciate it

Hi mate, yes it sounds like you’re exhibiting symptoms of ptsd. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd in 2019 after suffering with mental health issues for 25 years. I’ve had intensive treatment with a psychologist for 20 months, ranging from emdr, cbt and also a lot of nuerolinguistic programming through self study. Go see your doctor and see if you can get a referral to see someone. You can definitely heal once you process the trauma I promise.

I write about my journey in a blog but not sure if I can post a link or not. It’s called me and my brain.

 

[youdsy]

Hi mate, yes it sounds like you’re exhibiting symptoms of ptsd. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd in 2019 after suffering with mental health issues for 25 years. I’ve had intensive treatment with a psychologist for 20 months, ranging from emdr, cbt and also a lot of nuerolinguistic programming through self study. Go see your doctor and see if you can get a referral to see someone. You can definitely heal once you process the trauma I promise.

I write about my journey in a blog but not sure if I can post a link or not. It’s called me and my brain.

is it normal to have such a profound effect on my mind when it comes to work ? Feel like I’ve never done the job before. All instincts have vanished

 

[Predator]

is it normal to have such a profound effect on my mind when it comes to work ? Feel like I’ve never done the job before. All instincts have vanished

Yup, your brain goes in to survival mode so you’re on constant high alert. You can also disassociate sometimes which can be quite weird. Look up a book by Pete Walker on cptsd as it has a raft of useful info on trauma and recovery.

 

[helpimcrap]

is it normal to have such a profound effect on my mind when it comes to work ? Feel like I’ve never done the job before. All instincts have vanished

Before you end up losing your job, tell them you're having personal problems. Tell them how you love and need the job but also the struggles you're having. They may have some kind of mental health company support? If they aren't aware, they can't help.

Also consider psychotherapists as CBT is not for everyone and can sometimes be counterproductive depending on personality.

Good luck with it all and I hope you find your answers.