**The Mental Health Thread**

Soldato
Joined
27 Mar 2016
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7,248
Location
Bristolian living in Swindon
Thank you.

I wouldn’t know where to start. I never envisaged being where I am now 12 months ago.

It's not what anyone expects to be going through bud, A couple of years back around Christmas time i was in a dark place and felt i couldn't provide a good Christmas for my kids, My mental health was all over the place...

Like i said, Drop me a trust if you need a chat :)
 
Permabanned
Joined
5 Jun 2010
Posts
15,459
I spoke to a counsellor earlier. I never realised my employer offer a service.

I’m at a point in my life where I’ve been honest about what the issues are.

Now I’ve unlocked them from this place I put them in there are all these thoughts in my head I’m suddenly trying to deal with and it’s overwhelming.

I feel good that I’ve finally got to this point, I’ve accepted that I’m going to deal with all these things and wherever it takes me, so be it.
 
Soldato
Joined
24 Feb 2004
Posts
14,224
Location
St.Andrews
I talked to a counsellor through my employer too and they were about as much help as used match. Suggested all my problems were from not getting out enough and should head out and see my friends. In a pandemic. :rolleyes:
 
Associate
Joined
17 Jan 2015
Posts
1,547
I talked to a counsellor through my employer too and they were about as much help as used match. Suggested all my problems were from not getting out enough and should head out and see my friends. In a pandemic. :rolleyes:

It's a silly suggestion in todays climate, but ultimately, I dare say they aren't far from the mark either.

Like many, I've gone from having an active social life and a fairly enjoyable 9-5 office job in the centre of town, to having absolutely no social life whatsoever and working from home. I haven't seen anyone except my girlfriend for over 2 months now, well, apart from passers-by when I go shopping etc.

I personally never wanted any of this. I was willing to take my chances, and am not one to cower behind the sofa. I still believe we're being lied to when it comes to reporting the severity of this disease, it is known to have a well over 99% survival rate particularly among under 60s, and the way our deaths have been reported make the situation seem much worse than it likely really is, yet unfortunately, I just have to accept that life has changed and will likely never go back.

I was struggling with depression before this happened, and ultimately I see life as pointless now. I have always had a nihilistic outlook but there simply doesn't seem to be any joy left in life.

I've struggled with substance addictions in the past, including alcohol, and now one thing that was helping me get through it mentally now seems to be doing more damage than good - I've gained nearly 2 stone, and constantly feel somewhere between 'meh' and feeling like absolute **** every day. I know I need to stop drinking but it just feels like another pleasure I have to remove from my life (except, the only pleasure it actually gives is those precious few hours of being under the influence, the rest is just **** now). Additionally I need to lose the weight I've put on, so again, I'm going to have to cut down on food I enjoy just so I don't feel utterly depressed and ill. Feels like a vicious circle now, as if I remove what few pleasures I have left, then what is there to live for?

My daily routine, much like many now, is wake, wash, work, feed, go into zombie mode for a few hours then sleep. Rinse and repeat. Weekends, same, just without work. No light at the end of the tunnel, just a carrot that you never quite manage to reach and knowing deep down you'll never get a bite. Seeing people talk about this like it will go on until 2025 is just throwing petrol on the fire. I won't make it to 2025 in these times, I am absolutely certain of that.

I just don't know what do anymore. I know I need to change things, I know I need to try and improve my health and the rest will follow, but I just feel stuck, and don't know where to start. I just feel like I am trapped in some hellish existence, like a bad dream that just happened that I cannot wake up from, and may never wake up from. The lack of hope is really getting to me. Sometimes I can be optimistic, but today is not one of those days. People bang on about the vaccines, but we're already seeing problems with that not being as effective as thought (never saw that coming, honest), and who's to say what other pathogen / bio weapon is lurking around the corner ready to restart the whole miserable process again. I wish people weren't so risk averse these days. We put up with 50K+ flu deaths for something like 7 or 8 years on the trot in the 90s but yet now we react like this to a new virus, which, although clearly nasty, has a very high survival rate (and I certainly don't remember flu being particularly pleasant either, for comparison).

Its even affecting my work now as I have been off sick the last 2 days through a combination of illness and severe anxiety and depression. I'm going to have to go back tomorrow, but it all just feels like I'm going through the motions just so I can keep myself in this luxurious prison I now call home. I am pretty certain had I been on my own, and my parents had already passed away, I'd probably just done myself in by now. It's only the thought of destroying other peoples lives by these actions that probably stops me from doing it now.
 
Soldato
Joined
13 Jan 2004
Posts
12,709
Location
Leicestershire
I talked to a counsellor through my employer too and they were about as much help as used match. Suggested all my problems were from not getting out enough and should head out and see my friends. In a pandemic. :rolleyes:

Ironically, the people who should be good at talking as a profession I find the most ignorant. It's like they've never dealt with people with issues and I find it especially annoying in my job because I'm supposed to look up to these people like oracles but I end up getting patients to do more because I can empathise. It's not rocket science.
 
Soldato
Joined
16 Dec 2005
Posts
2,748
Currently coming off my antidepressants and tapering valium. To put it in simple terms I feel like crap, on another level crap!!

Just had enough of pills, they aren't helping (if your struggling they can and do help don't be put off by my post as YMMV) and I'm getting many side effects. I'm so tired. Feel bloody useless.

Made a good start selling stuff I've bought I don't need, failed that again though,. Stupid BPD brain In debt upto my eyeballs.
 
Caporegime
Joined
12 Mar 2004
Posts
29,913
Location
England
Just come out of an anxiety relapse myself, going to be put on phenelzine to see if it helps as modern antidepressants seem useless. The only medications that have helped have been diazepam and pregabalin. Unfortunately the addictiveness of benzodiazepines has been exaggerated to the point of hysteria in the UK.
 
Associate
Joined
16 Nov 2014
Posts
1,329
Currently coming off my antidepressants and tapering valium. To put it in simple terms I feel like crap, on another level crap!!
li
Just had enough of pills, they aren't helping (if your struggling they can and do help don't be put off by my post as YMMV) and I'm getting many side effects. I'm so tired. Feel bloody useless.

Made a good start selling stuff I've bought I don't need, failed that again though,. Stupid BPD brain In debt upto my eyeballs.
Feeling to do the same.
Been on/off anti deps for a couple years, recently increased dosage of my current one after being on a low dose for close to a year.
Dont feel much different from the previous and dont think they're doing much regardless.
I'm over pills also I want to take as minimal pills as possible, dont wanna depend on anti depressants especially.

Never really enjoyed gym as much as others but didnt realise how much good it did me just working out for an hour or two a few times a week.
Hope they re-open soon...Home workouts arent for me neither are jogs hahah im not motivated enough.

I know the feeling of coming off though, I've done cold turkey in the past (Would not recommend) had the "brain zaps" for one were annoying.

/

Plus I feel like they're contributing to issues down below e.g. low libido and ed like symptoms, with that being said I'm quitting porn because of said issues.
I feel like this lockdown especially I've binged on porn as a way to procrastinate, even when I dont even have that urge I just find myself watching it to take my mind of what really needs doing and using it as a pre-start task lmao lying to myself I'm going to do what needs to be done when I'm done only to spend ages looking for the "Perfect" video.

Not one for whole anti porn and no fap army but I think my brains porned out and need a complete detox, hopefully get my libido back.

Defo dont think porns the only factor, as I've not been as active and I've been stressed for months which definitely isn't helping.
But gotta start somewhere right.

Decided from Monday I'm gonna start meditating again I did during the first lockdown on and off felt it helped a little to clear the mind.
And just going out for walks in the morning, theres days where I'm just sat in the house or in bed without leaving the house.
 
Soldato
Joined
22 Nov 2007
Posts
4,099
Feeling to do the same.

But gotta start somewhere right.

Decided from Monday I'm gonna start meditating again I did during the first lockdown on and off felt it helped a little to clear the mind.
And just going out for walks in the morning, theres days where I'm just sat in the house or in bed without leaving the house.

A couple of weeks when it snowed and it was freezing i didn't leave the house for a week, i was doing ok until i got to the end of the working week and i just felt completely crap. Had a crap nights sleep as well, before then i had been going out daily walk of about a mile which makes me feel calmer ect.
 
Soldato
Joined
16 Dec 2005
Posts
2,748
Feeling to do the same.
Been on/off anti deps for a couple years, recently increased dosage of my current one after being on a low dose for close to a year.
Dont feel much different from the previous and dont think they're doing much regardless.
I'm over pills also I want to take as minimal pills as possible, dont wanna depend on anti depressants especially.

Never really enjoyed gym as much as others but didnt realise how much good it did me just working out for an hour or two a few times a week.
Hope they re-open soon...Home workouts arent for me neither are jogs hahah im not motivated enough.

I know the feeling of coming off though, I've done cold turkey in the past (Would not recommend) had the "brain zaps" for one were annoying.

/

Plus I feel like they're contributing to issues down below e.g. low libido and ed like symptoms, with that being said I'm quitting porn because of said issues.
I feel like this lockdown especially I've binged on porn as a way to procrastinate, even when I dont even have that urge I just find myself watching it to take my mind of what really needs doing and using it as a pre-start task lmao lying to myself I'm going to do what needs to be done when I'm done only to spend ages looking for the "Perfect" video.

Not one for whole anti porn and no fap army but I think my brains porned out and need a complete detox, hopefully get my libido back.

Defo dont think porns the only factor, as I've not been as active and I've been stressed for months which definitely isn't helping.
But gotta start somewhere right.

Decided from Monday I'm gonna start meditating again I did during the first lockdown on and off felt it helped a little to clear the mind.
And just going out for walks in the morning, theres days where I'm just sat in the house or in bed without leaving the house.


I'm basically a vegetable on theses pills, it's going to take 7 months to come off my high dose of valium ( I do not recommend anyone starting this crap) I've started
tapering my antidepressants and the brain zaps are awful, not my first rodeo though.

I just sometimes feel I wasting away, wasting my life away. Meditation is great I do it daily. Currently on pregabalin just in case of valium seizure.

I'm just so tired. I just want to be myself and deal with it from there.
 
Associate
Joined
4 Dec 2008
Posts
1,812
Hi everyone, not posted in here before. I know this probably isn't going to be helpful to people who'd struggle to afford it in times like these (my apologies), but I recommend looking into private healthcare if your experience with NHS services is as bad as mine was.

I've been awaiting a psychiatrist referral for two years for what was diagnosed as depression at the time, after failing 12 different SSRIs/SNRIs/others and CBT. This was after nearly a decade of first seeing GPs about it - as many of you have probably also found the hard way, GPs can't really prescribe a whole lot more than SSRIs or diagnose many mental health conditions besides depression/anxiety, so if you fall outside that bubble you are basically stuck unless you can get access to a psychiatrist. While waiting for this mythical referral to materialise I realised I couldn't wait any longer and put some money together to go private. I got seen within days of making the call, got re-diagnosed as bipolar II with ADHD and put on new medication (it takes an average of about 10 years for bipolar II to be diagnosed because it can be extremely difficult to distinguish from depression).

It's taken about a year of further messing with medication under their supervision but for the first time in my adult life (now 26) I've reached stability, still some bad days but doing far better than I ever thought I'd be. Ultimately it was a mood stabiliser + low dose antipsychotic combination that kicked the depressive episodes in the ass. SSRIs/SNRIs - as much as they can be lifesavers for many people - never did a damn thing for me.

It wasn't actually as pricey as I thought it would be, just the upfront cost really - which was I think £360 for first appointment/diagnosis, but it turned out I had benefits with my workplace (Medicash scheme) that covered most of that. So check your contract! Since that appointment it's only been about £25/month for medication, so barely any more pricey than an NHS prescription really.

Hope this is of use to some of you. Take care of yourselves.
 
Associate
Joined
9 Aug 2020
Posts
492
Anyone in the NW area and fancy a game of golf or pool/snooker, give me a trust message, obviously once we can.

I'm 41 (male) and happy with my family life but friends all moved out the area

I struggle with my mental health. Might find someone who fancies getting out

Love to all

:)
 
Associate
Joined
16 Nov 2014
Posts
1,329
Hi everyone, not posted in here before. I know this probably isn't going to be helpful to people who'd struggle to afford it in times like these (my apologies), but I recommend looking into private healthcare if your experience with NHS services is as bad as mine was.

I've been awaiting a psychiatrist referral for two years for what was diagnosed as depression at the time, after failing 12 different SSRIs/SNRIs/others and CBT. This was after nearly a decade of first seeing GPs about it - as many of you have probably also found the hard way, GPs can't really prescribe a whole lot more than SSRIs or diagnose many mental health conditions besides depression/anxiety, so if you fall outside that bubble you are basically stuck unless you can get access to a psychiatrist. While waiting for this mythical referral to materialise I realised I couldn't wait any longer and put some money together to go private. I got seen within days of making the call, got re-diagnosed as bipolar II with ADHD and put on new medication (it takes an average of about 10 years for bipolar II to be diagnosed because it can be extremely difficult to distinguish from depression).

It's taken about a year of further messing with medication under their supervision but for the first time in my adult life (now 26) I've reached stability, still some bad days but doing far better than I ever thought I'd be. Ultimately it was a mood stabiliser + low dose antipsychotic combination that kicked the depressive episodes in the ass. SSRIs/SNRIs - as much as they can be lifesavers for many people - never did a damn thing for me.

It wasn't actually as pricey as I thought it would be, just the upfront cost really - which was I think £360 for first appointment/diagnosis, but it turned out I had benefits with my workplace (Medicash scheme) that covered most of that. So check your contract! Since that appointment it's only been about £25/month for medication, so barely any more pricey than an NHS prescription really.

Hope this is of use to some of you. Take care of yourselves.
Ah yep sounds familiar.

I did the same last august couldn’t wait any longer for NHS and ended up paying to go private for my ADHD assessment which I felt was a major cause of my depression.

Still not found the right medication sadly so still feel the same but glad I have the diagnosis as it’s helped me salvage some rhings.
Have an appointment next month to helpfully changed medication.

Gonna be expensive but hopefully this will work for me then I can get it covered under NHS.

I recommend looking into shared care agreement . This is where your GP surgery agrees to prescribe the medication on under the nhs providing you’ve been stable on it and agree to review regularly with your psych.
I have done with this for my current Elvanse medication even though I don’t think it’s that effective saves me having to pay for private prescription + medication costs.
 
Associate
Joined
4 Dec 2008
Posts
1,812
Ah yep sounds familiar.

I did the same last august couldn’t wait any longer for NHS and ended up paying to go private for my ADHD assessment which I felt was a major cause of my depression.

Still not found the right medication sadly so still feel the same but glad I have the diagnosis as it’s helped me salvage some rhings.
Have an appointment next month to helpfully changed medication.

Gonna be expensive but hopefully this will work for me then I can get it covered under NHS.

I recommend looking into shared care agreement . This is where your GP surgery agrees to prescribe the medication on under the nhs providing you’ve been stable on it and agree to review regularly with your psych.
I have done with this for my current Elvanse medication even though I don’t think it’s that effective saves me having to pay for private prescription + medication costs.

I'm very much in the same boat actually. My bipolar II diagnosis was last year and I was only diagnosed with ADHD last month. A lot of clinicians believe you have to treat any mood disorders before the ADHD, but there's an increasing amount of evidence to suggest it is actually vice versa for many people. So I got assessed for similar reasons to you, I was still repeatedly going into depressive episodes despite being on mood stabilisers.

Sorry to hear vyvanse isn't working well for you. I haven't started yet as I'm still on a waiting list, but they're wanting to put me on atomoxetine due to hypomania risk associated with stimulants. Which is frustrating as (a) I haven't had a hypomanic episode in forever and (b) atomoxetine is generally considered to be less effective than stimulants. But got to start somewhere!

I'm actually on an SCA for my bipolar medication - unfortunately hasn't helped much in my case as the NHS refuses to cover most psychiatric drugs that aren't ridiculously cheap generics, and the ridiculously cheap generics I am taking are cheap enough that I don't need an SCA lol.
 
Soldato
Joined
25 Jul 2006
Posts
3,048
Hi guys,

To the people who suffer with anxiousness. What do you do at night time? This is when I really struggle, I struggle to sleep and struggle to stay calm. I get anxious at being anxious which then leads to being anxious!! This is a near every day occurance (at night) what do you find works best for calming yourself down at bed time and trying to get more than an hours sleep? :)

Hope you're all well and managing okay.
 
Soldato
Joined
3 Oct 2005
Posts
6,330
Location
England
Hi guys,

To the people who suffer with anxiousness. What do you do at night time? This is when I really struggle, I struggle to sleep and struggle to stay calm. I get anxious at being anxious which then leads to being anxious!! This is a near every day occurance (at night) what do you find works best for calming yourself down at bed time and trying to get more than an hours sleep? :)

Hope you're all well and managing okay.

Do you workout at all? I've found following a fitness regime has really helped me.

Thankfully I don't suffer with anxiety at night that much anymore but on the odd occasion I do, I tend to use a rescue remedy spray or if I find I really can't relax I either play relaxing music and focus on the different instruments I can hear or the lyrics. I also bagged a free subscription to the Calm app which has a fair few options to choose from. A few weeks ago I couldn't seem to switch off so stuck a story on read by Matthew McConaughey and i don't think I was listening to it for long before I nodded off.

There is also the Headspace app which I've used in the past and found it helpful.

There is also a 'tapping' technique which I've seen mentioned more often recently for helping. I've only tried it a couple of times in the past when I was really stressed out so it didnt completely calm me but distracted my mind for a while.
 
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