Child Maintenance

[Dyson]

Do you have kids out of curiosity?

I hope they don't

Edit - that's harsh, and I retract it.

For context, I am a father of 3, and also had a parent that had zero contact. I may be biased with my views as a result, but someone that is capable of doing that is complete scum.

 

[LabR@t]

I was paying my ex £50 a week a few years ago she didn't think it was enough so went to the CSA.....they told her i was paying too much and told me to pay £35 a week! God i laughed the boys grown up now and it still tickles me

 

[DeliciousStorage]

I hope they don't

Edit - that's harsh, and I retract it.

For context, I am a father of 3, and also had a parent that had zero contact. I may be biased with my views as a result, but someone that is capable of doing that is complete scum.

You don't see the irony in hoping a random internet stranger doesn't have children because they have a different opinion to you, then going on to call your zero contact parent scum ? I'd say your situation makes you definitely biased.

 

[Dyson]

You don't see the irony in hoping a random internet stranger doesn't have children because they have a different opinion to you, then going on to call your zero contact parent scum ? I'd say your situation makes you definitely biased.

I did retract it, but left it there for honesty.

Your view is bizarre, and one I cannot agree with, or understand.

 

[Beer_MonsterUK]

When 2 people decide they aren't fit to be parents and put their child up for adoption, nobody has a problem with it. Why should it be any different for 1 parent? People should have the right to relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities. The single parent should bear the costs of bringing up the children if they can afford to, and if they can't then yes the state should bear some of the costs, that's what we pay taxes for. They should not be looking for handouts from absent biological parents that are effectively nothing more than sperm/egg donors.

See, this sort of comment is why I keep coming back to GD. No matter which way you think of a problem, there's ALWAYS some bat****, utterly deranged wacko that comes out of the woodwork and make the thread comedy gold.

 

[GR63]

Pointless endeavour. Won't be interested unless you have proof and physical evidence that you post into them.

True, I've seen HMRC do sweet FA when I provided proof of someone evading £10k of VAT but sometimes doing SOMETHING can "lance the boil" in how you feel

 

[413x]

If 2 parents can relinquish their parental rights through adoption, why shouldn't 1 parent be allowed to do so? No difference from a moral point of view. Honestly I think child maintenance should be scrapped entirely, it just seems like a system for beggars to get free handouts. If you have equal joint custody then there is no reason why one side should pay another. If for some reason you want and are given full or main custody, you should bear the full costs since you get the benefits from raising the children.


Nope, no difference. OP hasn't really gone into much detail of the circumstances, but at the end of the day there is no blanket right or wrong, only the person "deserting" them can make that judgement for their particular circumstances.

Wow. That's quite the opinion.
I'm glad this is a niche one.

I've been very careful not to father kids because I would absolutely support an ex partner financially (as you should)

This isn't like maintaining a bad car purchase you can just palm off.


My bio dad didn't contribute anything to our upbringing really. He's reached out a few years ago but I couldn't be bothered. It's easy to reach out when you never helped when it mattered
Sorry. You had your chance.

 

[sja360]

Wow. That's quite the opinion.
I'm glad this is a niche one.

I've been very careful not to father kids because I would absolutely support an ex partner financially (as you should)

This isn't like maintaining a bad car purchase you can just palm off.


My bio dad didn't contribute anything to our upbringing really. He's reached out a few years ago but I couldn't be bothered. It's easy to reach out when you never helped when it mattered
Sorry. You had your chance.

At the same time, if you're mum pocketed the cash and gave you little in return, would you be more likely to accept your bio dad?

These things depends entirely upon the parents relationship after leaving/splitting.

It does need reforming but sadly the wrong choice could effect the kids. Perhaps having the maintenance payments going to a child's trust fund and being released once they are 16? Something along the lines of that would benefit the child massively later in life. Spending time with the kids is far more beneficial than throwing money at them.

I get the parent looking after the child has extra costs of looking after the child but I'm sure the government gives them income top ups because they have the child.

 

[Destination]

I may be the only one, but I find it rather worrying, that someone who is earning £8 per WEEK, would be expected to make contributions. One hour a week at minimum wage...

 

[Klunt Bumskrint]

I may be the only one, but I find it rather worrying, that someone who is earning £8 per WEEK, would be expected to make contributions. One hour a week at minimum wage...

The point is that she isn't, people can't live on that without benefits which she obviously doesn't get because if she did shed have to pay a flat rate.

This is an example of my irritation.
She is going to Cornwall to spend a week in a hotel next week, taking our eldest and our 2 youngest, (our other daughter doesn't want anything to do with her).

Can't afford to contribute anything to raising her children but can afford holidays. She had a month round Europe last year.

 

[EvilRob]

I get the parent looking after the child has extra costs of looking after the child but I'm sure the government gives them income top ups because they have the child.

Really? What "income top ups" do they get that make a dent in the cost of providing for and bringing up the child?

The idea that a parent could be "pocketing the cash" from child support is rather disgusting. Even if that money does enable them to have a reasonable quality of life, so what? They will likely already be spending far more than whatever that support payment is on providing for the child. There appears to be an expectation among some for single parents to be bearing the costs of bringing up the kids whilst living with minimal quality of life and/or to be on benefits and the other parent should be pretty much free of any financial obligation.

 

[Hades]

Is there any reason she only earns £8 a week and doesn't have a full time job to support her children?

 

[Destination]

The point is that she isn't, people can't live on that without benefits which she obviously doesn't get because if she did shed have to pay a flat rate.
This is an example of my irritation.
She is going to Cornwall to spend a week in a hotel next week, taking our eldest and our 2 youngest, (our other daughter doesn't want anything to do with her).
Can't afford to contribute anything to raising her children but can afford holidays. She had a month round Europe last year.

Sorry i wasn't trying to be disparaging of you OP. I am quite aware of the point in your OP, and indeed thoroughly support you on your task to bring her to account.
As you say it is complete and utter ***** that she can live on less than £7 a week while supporting her lifestyle.
Glad your kids have you.

 

[dlockers]

The point is that she isn't, people can't live on that without benefits which she obviously doesn't get because if she did shed have to pay a flat rate.

This is an example of my irritation.
She is going to Cornwall to spend a week in a hotel next week, taking our eldest and our 2 youngest, (our other daughter doesn't want anything to do with her).

Can't afford to contribute anything to raising her children but can afford holidays. She had a month round Europe last year.

On the flip side, a week in Cornwall isn't cheap and presumably you're paying £0 for it?

 

[MadMossy]

On the flip side, a week in Cornwall isn't cheap and presumably you're paying £0 for it?

Not at the moment for sure prices are 2-3 times what they are normally due to the covid tax, scalpers are not only after your gpus they want your holidays also

 

[413x]

At the same time, if you're mum pocketed the cash and gave you little in return, would you be more likely to accept your bio dad?

These things depends entirely upon the parents relationship after leaving/splitting.

It does need reforming but sadly the wrong choice could effect the kids. Perhaps having the maintenance payments going to a child's trust fund and being released once they are 16? Something along the lines of that would benefit the child massively later in life. Spending time with the kids is far more beneficial than throwing money at them.

I get the parent looking after the child has extra costs of looking after the child but I'm sure the government gives them income top ups because they have the child.

Yes. Doesn't matter if cash ends with the child. If your parent who isn't looking after you is contributing that's fine. A trust fund too is fine (probably preferred!)

It's just the lack Of that's an issue.
It wasn't just the cash. No real effort was made until we'll after all of us needed it.

Luckily my step dad provided so it was no burden to have a naff dad

 

[DeliciousStorage]

The point is that she isn't, people can't live on that without benefits which she obviously doesn't get because if she did shed have to pay a flat rate.

This is an example of my irritation.
She is going to Cornwall to spend a week in a hotel next week, taking our eldest and our 2 youngest, (our other daughter doesn't want anything to do with her).

Can't afford to contribute anything to raising her children but can afford holidays. She had a month round Europe last year.

This is conjecture, from what I gathered you don't have proof that she's lying and it's what you were trying to figure out. There could be a number of ways that she could live without an income and not be eligible for benefits.

 

[JohnG7]

^^On the game/hooking?

I have been reading this thread from day one and if it was the other way around I bet he would be getting more support (see some posts removed).

No way this B (female dog) lives on £8pw and does what he claims she does (weekends away trips/holidays etc).

 

[Pipe & Slippers]

@DeliciousStorage do any of these criteria match your personal circumstances?

• You have 4 kids
• You no longer live with them
• You rarely see those children
• You claim your income is £7 pw
• You live in cottage and have 2 vehicles
• You spent a month travelling around Europe last year
• You are going to Cornwall with 3 of your kids soon

Just curious

 

[DeliciousStorage]

No way this B (female dog) lives on £8pw and does what he claims she does (weekends away trips/holidays etc).

She doesn't need to live on £8/week for her current income to actually be £8/week.

(see some posts removed)

Just noticed that, very strange that they were removed.