Valentine's Day for beginners

Associate
Joined
27 Jul 2005
Posts
2,351
Ok, it's the first time I've ever 'celebrated' Valentine's Day and I've got no idea where to start. Here's a few specific questions I've been wondering about, but any general tips would be helpful:

1) What do you write in the card!? Happy Valentine's Day? Best Wishes? How do you sign it? Argh!!
2) What type of present is acceptable? I've seen Father of the Bride and I still don't understand why Annie is so offended when she receives the blender (if someone could explain, I'd be grateful) but I don't want to make this kind of mistake.

I'm sure I'll think of more annoying questions. Btw, feel free to end your answers with 'you moron' or 'you ignoramus' etc. I really should know what I'm doing at my age.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
39,945
Use this card...

TescoValue.png


Write your name in it - with a nice poem. Eg...

Roses are red,
This poems blue,
Get you kit off,
So I can........

Personally it's all a rip so I tend not to bother with any material gifts - I give 'other' things. ;)

Simon/~Flibster
 
Soldato
Joined
17 Oct 2002
Posts
10,267
Location
Stoke
qwerty said:
Ok, it's the first time I've ever 'celebrated' Valentine's Day and I've got no idea where to start. Here's a few specific questions I've been wondering about, but any general tips would be helpful:

1) What do you write in the card!? Happy Valentine's Day? Best Wishes? How do you sign it? Argh!!
2) What type of present is acceptable? I've seen Father of the Bride and I still don't understand why Annie is so offended when she receives the blender (if someone could explain, I'd be grateful) but I don't want to make this kind of mistake.

I'm sure I'll think of more annoying questions. Btw, feel free to end your answers with 'you moron' or 'you ignoramus' etc. I really should know what I'm doing at my age.

Buy her a Deep Fat Fryer, set of Alloys or a fire extinguisher and see what response you get. :D

Seriously, anything like Choccies, Flowers etc will go down well. Homemade stuff always seems to go down well too despite anything I make homemade looks like absolute cack.:p
 
Permabanned
Joined
24 Jul 2003
Posts
30,259
Valentines cards are supposed to be anonymous.
You write in them some soppy carp about how you think about that person all day and how wonderful they are (contact a lawyer to avoid a stalker charge).

Gifts are supposed to flatter the person, to be tasty or sexy. A blender is not either, instead it could be taken as a sign of "your place is in the kitchen making me dinner".
Valentines day is not the time for such home truths.
 
Soldato
Joined
26 Aug 2004
Posts
7,571
Location
London
I would suggest this card:


along with a pack of condoms and some lube. Girls love it when you get straight to the point tbh.

EDIT: Flibster beat me to it :(

fini
 
Associate
OP
Joined
27 Jul 2005
Posts
2,351
fini said:
I would suggest this card:


along with a pack of condoms and some lube. Girls love it when you get straight to the point tbh.

EDIT: Flibster beat me to it :(

fini

Why the lube? I'm not a gay.
 
Soldato
Joined
19 Oct 2004
Posts
12,387
Location
Jesmond
adwhitworth said:
Homemade stuff always seems to go down well too despite anything I make homemade looks like absolute cack.:p

The most special part of the day is seeing that somewhere cares enough about you to make an effort and so being given something homemade or personalised does is brilliant! :D

Even if it does turn out cack :p
 
Man of Honour
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
39,945
VIRII said:
Gifts are supposed to flatter the person, to be tasty or sexy. A blender is not either, instead it could be taken as a sign of "your place is in the kitchen making me dinner".
Valentines day is not the time for such home truths.

So a pair of diamanique encrusted washing up gloves isn't a good idea then? ;)

Simon/~Flibster
 
Permabanned
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
7,394
Location
Leicestershire
qwerty said:
Ok, it's the first time I've ever 'celebrated' Valentine's Day and I've got no idea where to start. Here's a few specific questions I've been wondering about, but any general tips would be helpful:
Don't get sucked into this commercial romance crap.
 
Permabanned
Joined
24 Jul 2003
Posts
30,259
Bah bunch of old cynics, buy her some chocs and flowers or take her out for a nice meal or something.
Never hurts to show someone that you appreciate them.
 
Back
Top Bottom