The Friday (Really Bad) Joke Thread

Soldato
Joined
17 Nov 2004
Posts
9,964
Location
The Republic
Im sorry about this but I got this on email today. Its so bad I feel the need to share my pain.

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The
son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.


After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.


Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts
into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"


The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip!Plop!! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!!" The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head" clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.


By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.


The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands
up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right
through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.


The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,





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(Wait for it)





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(It's coming)





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(Ya ready?)





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(Don't hate me)





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(Ya gonna hate me)





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(Take a deep breath)





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"He should've quit while he was a head!"
 
Caporegime
Joined
21 Apr 2004
Posts
33,225
Location
Bristol
ahahaha :D
icon14.gif
 
Soldato
Joined
26 Jul 2003
Posts
10,948
Location
Derby
I was putting the cat out last night, and who should I see at the bottom of the garden but Gilly. Seems I caught him in the process of stealing our garden gate.

I didn't say anything in case he took offence.
 
Woman of Honour
Man of Honour
Joined
2 Aug 2004
Posts
5,570
Location
London
My rubbish joke for the day bit harsh really:


A man had two great tickets for the Cup final.

As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty".

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA cup final, the biggest sporting event in the year, and not use it?"

He says, "well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been together since we got married".

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head...

"No. They're all at the funeral".

BB x
 
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