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ROFL!
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ROFL!Violent Ex-Girlfriend
- Thread starter Kanye
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Soldato
Sic said:dude
Indeed
Soldato
I read the first 3 pages with much rollyeyes at Kayne a day or two ago, then read the last page (8) then HAD to read it all.
I couldn't believe it when he said he gave her one for the road.
Absolutely comedy gold.
Nomination for the thread of the year please and a sticky on how NOT to approach these types of situations! (God forbid any other forumers are this retarded..)
I couldn't believe it when he said he gave her one for the road.
Absolutely comedy gold.
Nomination for the thread of the year please and a sticky on how NOT to approach these types of situations! (God forbid any other forumers are this retarded..)
Suspended
I've constructed my own likely outcome and would like a pony on it, please. Read the bolded sections. If the OP is black, please replace 'black' with 'white', unless it impacts on my winnings. In which case, don't.rumba said:Who wants to place a bet on the likely outcome?
a) you tell her you don't want a relationship, she yells rape ... 10/1
b) she's pregnant ... 8/1
c) she's pregnant, but it turns out to be twins ... 15/1
d) you get an STI and mr winky turns black and drops off ... 7/1
e) you return home tonight to find your little sisters bunny sitting in a pot of boiling water on the stove ... evens
f) she somehow finds this thread online, and bludgeons you to death with a pregnancy test kit ... 3/1
g) you have a moment of clarity, realise that it's true love, and manage to laugh the whole incident off in 50 years time when re-telling it to your grandchildren ... 25/1
h) You try to rectify the whole situation, but somehow mess up and end up sleeping with her mum ... 3/2 favourite
Soldato
This has to be a wind-up. I either applaud you for a quality joke or pity you for being the biggest mug that ever walked gods greens earth.
There isn't enough lol's in the world dude.
There isn't enough lol's in the world dude.
Kanye said:I have done mate! Ive told her i cant go back out with her and told her it wouldnt work.
She just keeps twisting everything i say! :|
'We will work, we can get councilling'
'I love you so much and i know you love me, you cant deny it, i can tell'
'We were made for each other and you know it, lets give it another try'
'Please babe, i want to be with you forever. I love you so much.'
These are the sort of texts i keep getting
My ex said similar things, then she read my blog. oooooops . . . .
Seriously though dude, you should have kept your plonker in your pants and just walked away from it. I have vissions of seeing you on Jeremey Kyle in the next month or so
Associate
Classical soap!! What we need now "she's expecting my child"!!
cant believe it.....3 more pages when i last left...LoL
and i'm on holiday reading this!!
no no, the quote of the day is "i'm gonna hit it once more for the road"
am also starting to think this has got to be a wind up.
and i'm on holiday reading this!!
Matblack said:This is my candidate for quote of the day
MB
no no, the quote of the day is "i'm gonna hit it once more for the road"
am also starting to think this has got to be a wind up.
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Associate
Mint_Sauce said:
That was the problem, he did, so he went back for more
Associate
glissando said:
i think he took you literally glissando....
Permabanned
Dammit!
/slaps self for not keeping up to date on this thread
/slaps self for not keeping up to date on this thread
Kanye said:
OK Guys, just a little update.
I have been getting txt msg's and phone calls from people i know, who know my ex and still talk to her... Apparently my ex is telling everyone that we are going to give each other another chance and try and sort our problems out.
I think she has took it a step too far by doing this and im starting to get worried. The whole situation is freaking me out.
Yes, its probably my fault for sucking her toes, for the road... but she is a hottie and it would have been rude not to.
Ive decided to goto the police station to make a statement tonight when i finish work. Hopefully the police will take it seriously and act upon it and finaly sort this mess out.
I havent been replying to the text msg's ive been gettin off her which seems to be the right thing to do, but its so hard because i just feel like going round and giving her one more, for old times sake.
Oh and i also installed a CCTV camera last night because she knows how much my car means to me, so if it all kicks off, i know what she will try and do to my pride and joy.
I have been getting txt msg's and phone calls from people i know, who know my ex and still talk to her... Apparently my ex is telling everyone that we are going to give each other another chance and try and sort our problems out.
I think she has took it a step too far by doing this and im starting to get worried. The whole situation is freaking me out.
Yes, its probably my fault for sucking her toes, for the road... but she is a hottie and it would have been rude not to.
Ive decided to goto the police station to make a statement tonight when i finish work. Hopefully the police will take it seriously and act upon it and finaly sort this mess out.
I havent been replying to the text msg's ive been gettin off her which seems to be the right thing to do, but its so hard because i just feel like going round and giving her one more, for old times sake.
Oh and i also installed a CCTV camera last night because she knows how much my car means to me, so if it all kicks off, i know what she will try and do to my pride and joy.
Soldato
Kanye said:
ROFL! So now you go to the police.
"So what seems to be the problem"
"well officer my I cheated on my girlfriend and she started to beat me up, now 6 months on I gave her on for the road and shes freaking me out, so I want you to arrest her now!"
KaHn
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