An open letter to Argos

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Ok, so my desk chair finally packed in today, which made me demoralised as it means i'll have to get my keister out of bed tomorrow and go get another, and after 2 cans of scrumpy i thought i'd give those boys an email just to let them know about my dissatisfaction with the product. Below is what ensued

Dear Argos,

I am writing to you regarding my displeasure with a product I purchased from yourselves in September last year.

I had recently come into a few vouchers due to my ability to hit a target at work, so it gave me the thought to go purchase the one thing I’ve needed for a long while, that being a fancy desk chair.

Now, I could have gone to Staples and had my wallet ripped straight from my pocket by a cashier who was wearing a stripy jumper with a register bag that had 'swag' written it, or I could have taken a mission to Ikea, but I didn't like the idea of the chair contorting my spine with its whacky Swedish ergonomics, and I only like their 90p hot dogs anyway.

Anyhow, I decided to take a trip to Argos, as you've got a few (I count 3) stores in Wakefield, and there is a fair chance that you'd have an at least 50% suitable product for me, because as they say, if all else fails and quality is not an option, head to Argos.

Anyway, I picked out a chair on your website which looked thoroughly lovely at the time (product number 6178077, the Black Leather-Faced Executive Swivel Chair).

Well..... I don't believe Alan Sugar would be happy with this chair, and he's certainly the biggest executive I’ve seen on that new fangled Talk Box, but hey ho, I parted with my £50 in vouchers at the time and took my giant box home. I was happy as I’d found myself a chair, and Argos were obviously happy because they'd managed to shift another item that obviously has the build quality you'd expect from a Malaysian sweatshop, but being a red blooded British male, I wasn't going to kick up a stink, after all I wouldn't want to seem weak in front of the woman, all purchases made by myself are final, and even if I pay through the nose for a chocolate fireguard, I still stand by my decision.

Anyway, 2 months down the line the casters on the chair decide to, well, 'pop off' is the only description I could use. As we speak, the chair currently has 2 functioning casters on the chair, with the wheels still attached to them. I headed back to your Westgate store in Wakefield and explained my situation to the 15 year old girl who really should have been working on the Elizabeth Duke counter she was wearing that much 'bling'.

Anyway, she explained to me that because I no longer had the receipt and the chair was over a month old that I had really not much of a case, and I’d fallen folly to those fantastic consumer laws that protect big business and leave a poor, bewildered student with a wonky chair and a sad frown on his face. He'd been beaten by the Blue and Red (and I seem to recall some green in there).

Anyway, I thought ok, it's not so bad, even though I’d shelled out half a ton for this chair, I obviously was expecting a bit too much quality and workmanship in the product and in the future I should probably be a bit more prudent and realise that if you make a chair so terribly shoddy, it's obviously just a subscription service and the first payment was obviously just the 6 month subscription, which hit me today when it broke and I managed to fall on my bottom with quite a thud. I'm glad no one saw, I’d probably be a bit embarrassed.

Because, you see, the metal bracket that attached to the chair base decided to buckle whilst I was sat on it, which is never a good plan. And before we go any further I’d just like to point out that I’m not an obese man, I’m a tall 6"4, 16 stone man, the body mass indicator says im 'average' so I’ll roll with what he has to say. Now, because I didn't see the massive sticker on it that said "THIS CHAIR IS ONLY SUITABLE FOR 15st 11lb PEOPLE" I’ve fallen folly again to another trait of this Executive Swivel Chair. Oh how I giggled at the thought of Bill Gates falling of his chair in a Board Meeting due to the poor workmanship.

Anyway, the reason why I’m sending this decidedly curt, and rather sarcastic email is because I’m really not impressed that I’ve managed to have a chair for 8 months, costing me 50 hard earned notes (that’s a days worth of work to me you know, or 12 years worth of work for the person who built it) and it's absolutely abolished itself, I have no chance of even fixing it.

I've enclosed some pictures, I was going to write this in the form of a letter like Watchdog always advises, but I can't seem to find an address for a head office on your site, I suppose with enough digging I’d be able to find one but I’ll be honest, all this simply means is that Argos will not get any more of my business.

No longer will I purchase a cheap gold watch for my mother’s birthday or buy my father that executive stress toy he's always wanted. However, I got a duvet from you which is really good but now I’m just waiting for the day where I wake up burnt to death, that is the confidence that has been inspired in me.

I hope you take the time to respond to my issue, I feel it would probably be beneficial to both of us, but like I said my confidence in yourselves has been diminished.

Also, sack that spotty 15 year old, she's was rude and is obviously just going to take your company for maternity pay when she pops out her first Chesney or Chelsea.

Much love and admiration

Simon McKelvey
Xx

Note, enclosed pictures.

http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image000.jpg
http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image001.jpg
http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image002.jpg
http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image003.jpg
http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image004.jpg
http://www.mancpunkscene.co.uk/si/expensivechair/Image005.jpg

I'd be rather happy if they replied, but i think i'll just end up being someones office email circular :D
 
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Soldato
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Si MPS said:
Ok, so my desk chair finally packed in today, which made me demoralised as it means i'll have to get my keister out of bed tomorrow and go get another, and after 2 cans of scrumpy i thought i'd give those boys an email just to let them know about my dissatisfaction with the product. Below is what ensued



I'd be rather happy if they replied, but i think i'll just end up being someones office email circular :D
images don't work btw
 
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One thing that's not is curt.

curt Audio pronunciation of "curt" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kûrt)
adj. curt·er, curt·est

1. Rudely brief or abrupt, as in speech or manner. See Synonyms at gruff.
2. Using few words; terse.
3. Having been shortened.
 
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Akira said:
One thing that's not is curt.

curt Audio pronunciation of "curt" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kûrt)
adj. curt·er, curt·est

1. Rudely brief or abrupt, as in speech or manner. See Synonyms at gruff.
2. Using few words; terse.
3. Having been shortened.

I got an A in GCSE English Language. But that was in a state school.

;)
 
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Hang on, so you broke a chair because you were too heavy for the specified weight limit and so you write a letter which would get laughed at all the way to the shredding machine?

Why?
 
Man of Honour
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Great email
icon14.gif
 
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Hang on, so you broke a chair because you were too heavy for the specified weight limit and so you write a letter which would get laughed at all the way to the shredding machine?

Why?

Someone get this guy a copy of the Oxford Concise English Sarcasm guide.
 
Soldato
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I had the same chair, twice, both broke, got a different one now.

Oh and you dont need a receipt to return stuff to Argos, just a bank statement with the item on will do.
 
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M0T

M0T

Soldato
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Johnny Girth said:
Hang on, so you broke a chair because you were too heavy for the specified weight limit and so you write a letter which would get laughed at all the way to the shredding machine?

Why?


I suspect the weight limit was a joke....
 

sfx

sfx

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Also, sack that spotty 15 year old, she's was rude and is obviously just going to take your company for maternity pay when she pops out her first Chesney or Chelsea.

Might want to change that. Good work though. :)

sfx
 
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