Date Mates...:eek3d:

Soldato
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So I was talkin to some girl last night, gettin on pretty well and she asks me if i wanna be date mates...Ive never heard of a date mate before so she explained....badly :o So I looked it up on the net when i got home...

Im not quite sure what to make of it :o but I agreed to it and I guess we will see how things go...I have no idea how people manage to keep it non sexual and non emotional.

Have you lot heard of this kind of thing? Would you go for it?

Utilitarian Dating in a New Korea

As Korea swiftly transforms itself from one of Asia’s most conservative societies into a nation at the cutting edge of innovation, it is no wonder that social values are also changing. One such change is taking place in the area of lonely hearts, where young Koreans increasingly look, not for love but for a "datemate."
Kim is a 24-year-old university student who broke up with his girlfriend a year ago, and he is not ready to start over with a new woman. Instead, he has met six datemates over the last year. "To see a girlfriend, not only do you have to plan out a schedule, but you also have to match personalities. It's too exhausting," he says. "I'd rather have fun just dating without the burden."

200511110013_01.jpg

couple watch a movie in a DVD room in Shinchon on Friday. They may be holding one another, but the two are just “datemates," not lovers.




All the fun (or almost) without any of the responsibility: that is the principle of datemating. There are four iron rules, and if they can be bent, they can’t be broken -- no falling in love, no physical affection beyond kissing, a clean break if interest wanes, and, importantly, no interfering in you mate’s private life. The concept is similar to the American idea of "**** buddies," but without the sex. Kim adds some extra rules for his datemates: no holding hands in front of his school, where everyone could see them, and no posting pictures taken together on their blogs.

At first glance, the dating methods of these datemates differ little from those of ordinary lovers -- dinners at cozy restaurants, watching movies and romantic walks. It is the mentality that is different. "Since there are no expectations and no one really works on the relationship, it's hard to see a datemate over a long period of time. If contact stops, the relationship ends naturally," says Kim. "When people ask me if I have a girlfriend, I always answer no." He adds the best thing is that you can start dating someone else whenever you want.

200511110013_02.jpg

A woman is looking for a datemate on Daum's "Official Datemate Cafe."


People have always differentiated between those they would marry and those they would date; now they distinguish between those they would date and those they would datemate. The number of people looking for datemates is on the rise, with portal site Daum opening an online club bringing such souls. At the "Official Datemate Café" (http://cafe.daum.net/Datefriend), about 100 members post their introductions, contact information and photos for one another.

Kim (no relation) is a 25-year-old working woman who has both a lover she intends to marry and a datemate. The reason, she says, is that her lover works in the provinces, and she doesn’t get to see him very much. "My datemate agreed to this situation, so I don't feel guilty,” she says. “He, too, has a girlfriend, and we just meet casually."

Chun Sang-jin, a Sogang University sociologist, says young people are very utilitarian; they establish rules for their relationships and consider it natural to date within a scope where the parties won't get hurt. He says it looks as though they want the things that come with dating but shun the ideology of love.

([email protected] )



http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200511/200511110013.html
 
Soldato
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i dont think the british could cope with that - most are emotionally unbalanced... and GD would be flooded with "oh i've fallen in love but he/she only wants to be friends" threads.

conclusion: move to korea :p
 
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Let me get this right............

You can cuddle them whilst watching chick flicks

But if you try and have a mess your in the dog house


That my friend is a normal man/woman relationship
 

Tru

Tru

Soldato
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That's kind of weird, I'm not sure how it would work because I'd automatically want to seduce an attractive girl that was good company.

also, there's a filthy cuss word in that quote, which has offended me greatly :(
 
Soldato
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I think the blokes will end up fustrated that they can't bonk their datemate.

And women will end up fustrated that they don't have any male comittment in their lives.

Where exactly do you draw the line, huggings ok, but what about grabbing a boob or a bum??

Sounds interesting though ;)
 
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Wryel said:
So you go on dates, stay in and don't have sex.


Sounds like marriage.

lol.

this date mates thing sounds awefully gay. cant you just have a **** buddy? and that should have been your reply to her :)
 
Soldato
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I prefer ****buddies myself.

Straight to the point, no messing about and you know where you stand. ;)

so it would read:

no falling in love, heaps of physical affection beyond kissing, a clean break if interest wanes, and, importantly, no interfering in you mate’s private life. You dont even need to go near her when shes on the rag.
Just hope you dont get any "nasties" down there. They kinda ruin the "clean break"....its never an easy thing to say "Sorry love, I gave you Chlamydia". (its so hard to pronounce :p )
 
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I think this is some sort of silly way for teenagers to start a relationship without officialy starting to "Go out" as it's called. This is given the impression of being less of a big thing therefore is easier to bring up in conversation playfully etc. There are PLENTY of opportunities where I'd use it as a gateway to more if I knew about it.
 
Soldato
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Its clearly not the same as a normal friend..Its less than a friendship :dunno:

I dont think it could catch on in the UK because the culture is so different...Over here, everyone is unbelievably busy...Most dont even have the time to meet their friends..and most are very lonely...So this kind of thing can provide companionship without the hassle of a full on girlfriend :o
 
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Zefan said:
I think this is some sort of silly way for teenagers to start a relationship without officialy starting to "Go out" as it's called. This is given the impression of being less of a big thing therefore is easier to bring up in conversation playfully etc. There are PLENTY of opportunities where I'd use it as a gateway to more if I knew about it.

Its mainly uni students and young professionals that do this, from what ive read...people who have no time...
 
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Balddog said:
Its clearly not the same as a normal friend..Its less than a friendship :dunno:

I dont think it could catch on in the UK because the culture is so different...Over here, everyone is unbelievably busy...Most dont even have the time to meet their friends..and most are very lonely...So this kind of thing can provide companionship without the hassle of a full on girlfriend :o
But the 'hassle' is only in the mind....such people who think of it as a 'hassle' are such people who'd like this weird 'datemate' thing.....basically teenage anxiety being vented in a weird way.

I think it's kind of saddening really.
 
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